I had occasion to miss a day earlier this week and I rationalized it with the pretext of not wanting to infect anyone else in the offices, as most of the people around here are just looking for an excuse to miss work. Between coughs I watched a lot of daytime TV which means I spent hours going through 1200 channels to find out nothing was on. I hit the change channel button on the remote so often I think I sprained my thumb.
What I did learn is there are too many damned “real” doctors on daytime TV and what they have to say is frankly…not good news. Are they just on TV to scare me and why are they allowed to do this? Every time they list the myriad of symptoms for some disease I’ve never heard of, I say to myself, “Doesn’t everyone have that?” So now I’m convinced I have ear cancer or thyroid flu. Even worse, in one day I learned that every pill I take that is prescribed by my doctors has side effects worse than whatever disease it is designed to prevent. I don’t know about you but if that pill makes me bleed from my eyes, I think I’d rather just have the stroke. And I’m not sure people named Gupta and Oz are real doctors anyway as they keep changing the rules. Eggs are good, bad, good again, only the yokes then only the whites. I tried eating an egg white omelet and I found it to have the consistency and flavor of wet Kleenex. It’s so confusing because the TV doctors can’t even agree so how am I supposed to know what’s good for me and what’s not? I’m clearly over-educated but none of my studies have included nutrition and now there’s even an ugly rumor that bacon might not be as good for me as I think. If that proves true, life may officially be…not worth living. Even now, when someone asks me if I want cheese on that I whisper back to them, “Yes, but please make it look like an accident. I want my family to be able to collect my life insurance.”
The real problem with TV doctors are they are on to scare old people because they foolishly think we have disposable income for pills, potions, braces, canes, transplants and burial plots. I think I would be fine with them if they just moved them all to the Disney Channel, MTV or the Cartoon Channel because that’s the market where there is some hope. It’s clearly too late for my friends and me. My friends because they are really old and me because I just don’t care anymore. The kids sitting in front of the TV with a box of Goldfish or a bag of Gummi Worms are your target audience because if you tell me to stop eating brie because it has too much cream…I’m going to run you over with my walker. Geez, I own a cardigan and I don’t need this stress.
I grew up with TV shows about doctors but I quickly learned that was TV and some things were dramatized for the viewing audience and the diseases they diagnosed were mostly weird and obscure and they knew they could get away with it because we were too lazy to get up and look through the encyclopedia to check on them. Now we can just Google it and call BS before they even go to a commercial. But we wanted to believe Dr. Kildare, Marcus Welby and Doogie Howser so we let it slide. Then they started really pushing the envelope with doctor dramas and you practically had to have ingested a parasite while you walked barefoot through rice paddies in Ninh Binh, eating raw scorpions and bat guano for protein while drinking tree sap just to make it into the rough draft of a script on House. And today the doctor dramas have given up all pretext of medicine and solely focus on which doctor is hooking up with which nurse.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…how are you feeling?