Please Don’t Get a Side of That.

Donn James

I was at my weekly business lunch yesterday and while we routinely solve the world’s problems, at least to our satisfaction, this is not to say we are without fault, though none of us is likely to be incarcerated for insider trading, colluding with Russia or inappropriate sexual conduct so I don’t expect to see any of our names in the NY Times or to have paparazzi camped on our front lawns. What is mildly interesting is that these captains of industry, though we have manners indicating a proper upbringing, have eating habits which would make a garbage dump maggot recoil in horror. Seriously, a Norwegian wharf rat living in a dumpster would throw up if he saw our plates. Now, I normally hold my tongue because of my self-imposed mantra of Courtesy Costs You Nothing but they are getting used to my eye-rolling when they try and describe their order to a waiter. In past notes I have mentioned my associate who likes things light years beyond cooked…petrified is the word that best describes anything that comes out of the kitchen for him. His perfect bacon is if it comes out of the kitchen as just a pile of ash on his plate. The other day he ordered eggs benedict which traditionally celebrate the poached egg but he wanted his eggs one step beyond hard-boiled which I believe is called…rock. I’m convinced if there wasn’t Hollandaise sauce to hold them down, his eggs would have rolled off his plate. You could have played croquet with these eggs. Yesterday he ordered chicken tenders so well done they looked like they had the texture and bite of…chicken lips. I have another friend who orders the wedge salad almost every week but can’t summon the energy to cut it so he makes the kitchen chop it up and drown it in ranch dressing, the most degenerate of all condiments. Ordering ranch dressing is like saying, “Don’t shoot me, I’m already committing suicide.” In the same vein, the gentleman on my right wants everything with a side of BBQ sauce because he is adventurous in nature or because he was raised on the west side and never got to pretend to be a cowboy. I’m so used to seeing that side of BBQ sauce near his plate, I won’t be surprised when he starts stirring it into his coffee. Lastly, the gentleman on the other side of the row and down a couple from me wants his french fries well done which essentially means leave them in the burning oil until they stop screaming. What is well done for a french fry? Isn’t that just a potato chip?
As much as I would like to get to the bottom of this issue, it just appears to be a time and environmental thing. We are all of an age where there were only two condiments…ketchup and mustard, and most of you can’t imagine living in an era where mayonnaise was considered exotic. It was a sad, dark time in America’s history because you could buy a hamburger for $.15 but balsamic was for furriners. In music we were experiencing the British invasion with the Beatles and Stones but we made them leave their vinegar in London as in the wake of the Cold War the idea of vinegar on fish was treasonous. Oddly, McDonald’s put pickles on your hamburger but relish was considered to be the work of the devil.
As a group, in spite of our culinary atrocities we do band together and collaborate on projects for the good of mankind like making easier-to-open pill bottles since we are the over-medicated generation but don’t believe it should take a doctorate, scissors and a wrench just to take two aspirin. We’re also just minutes away from bringing you a flying car. We work together after all, because we are the generation that invented the saying, “There is no I in team” but then my friend reminded me that, “That’s only because they needed two I’s to spell idiot.”

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…would you like ketchup with that?

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Is That Permanent Ink?

Donn James

I openly admit to believing sarcasm is an under-recognized art form but I’ve evolved beyond believing its original Greek meaning of “to tear flesh like a dog” although I can see times where that might be appropriate. Over the centuries it has evolved into “a sharp bitter or cutting expression or remark” and while I should be honored for expertise in that arena, I usually tend to follow today’s definition which is “the use of irony to convey contempt.” It’s my favorite. A young person I know accused me of “throwing shade” at someone the other day and from what I said I thought I was just being sarcastic since that is what I am 99% of the time. And it’s hard, nee impossible, not to be sarcastic when confronted with this new hipster terminology. I am the most sarcastic person I’ve ever been around and I know I’ve mentioned this but I continue to tire of people inventing new wording to describe something that needs no describing. What? Is the word sarcasm too hard to pronounce? I think these are the same people who text ur instead of your and we can all agree those are the people we should deport. And if you’ve ever used the term YOLO, your thumbs should be amputated.
I thought I had survived the hipster era and it was over but I still see slobbering idiots trying to wear their cool as if seeing an emaciated clerk at Target saunter down Aisle 6 wearing a fedora and a scarf with a man bag over his shoulder would make me feel better about the world’s future. First of all fedoras have never, and will never be cool, and this is not gender-biased because they look stupid on both sexes. The last person who almost was cool while wearing a fedora was Cab Calloway in the Blue Brothers movie. And when did guys start wearing scarves? Did I miss another memo? Everyone I see is in southern California, where there’s very little chance your Adam’s apple is going to get frostbite so I’m pretty sure we can forego the neck wear. You’re the same people I see wearing beanies with tassels when the thermometer dips below 70 and those things always look silly but are especially stupid at the beach. I don’t even want to get started on the rash of across the body man bags I’ve seen men toting but if you need to carry that much stuff around, you should look for a bigger apartment.
I could also live out the rest of my days comfortably without seeing another hipster tattoo although I’m not personally against anyone turning their body into their own personal etch-a-sketch. I guess I just know too many hipsters who have gone vegan or gluten-free and barely have the energy to breathe but maybe they’re the best at lying still while a felon repeatedly stabs them with a needle and before they know it, they have a bad picture of Scott Baio on their thigh. And if you have a feather or a piece of kale tattooed on the inside of your forearm, please start wearing long-sleeved shirts. If you feel a need to tattoo your child’s name and birthdate somewhere on your person, I’d like to point out you can just put a reminder in your phone. I’m sure hipsters think they have good reasons for getting ‘inked’ and it’s usually…everybody is doing it but I’m an individual, but let’s talk about a couple of good reasons to rethink your choices. I won’t even mention what it will look like when you’re 80 because none of you will probably live to be 80. It’s getting close to the holidays and you don’t want Grandma to see it because she’s still coherent enough to change her will. Let’s say you were born on May 31st in the year 8008 so you want 5318008 inked on your wrist so you can see it but everyone else will see it upside down and it spells…boobies.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we are working hard on the 2018 version. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is that fresh ink?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Who’s Lying Now?

Donn James

I have probably mentioned this in passing but, if so, I would like to again share with you the biggest problem of the day because this is the root cause of the problems with the planet, education, politics, business, probably even climate change but I don’t know enough about it to say that with certainty. I just know it’s hot out. In this time and in the land of curious phenomenon, I can tell you and document the greatest difference in generational change. Again, I do not do this in order to tout one generation over another but I do believe this generation’s shortfall can be directly attributed to this change.
Somewhere along the line, and I clearly missed the memo, parents began believing their children and I can tell you from experience that never happened in the past. My parents almost never believed me, for good reason, and since lies never worked with them, I pretty much stopped doing it. Oh, I’ll still tell people they look good even as trolls run in terror and I’ll tell people they smell good even as my eyes tear up but those are harmless and even somewhat kind. In my day…which I hate you all for even making me say that, my parents flat out told me that unless you have irrefutable evidence to the contrary, we’re going to believe the cop, teacher, cashier, doctor or homeless person, over you. And I didn’t think anything about it. I was a kid, what did I know? I certainly didn’t have or expect any rights. Seriously, when I was a teenager, a homeless guy could have knocked on the door and told my parents that I put him out of business, sold his wife to a Saudi prince and made his children stitch soccer balls to supplement my allowance and my parents would have turned to me and said, “What do you have to say for yourself young man?” Now these days, parents actually believe their children over their teachers and that’s patently absurd. As if the student knows more about the subject than the teacher. Or they tell you their child is too advanced for the class when you’ve seen the kid get stumped by a bowl of alphabet soup. If you never call your kids on a lie they’ll think they are immune to error, can do no wrong and that’s how they grow up to be presidents and dictators.
Here is how it works…many people think a child’s first word is Mama or Dada but, in reality, where some of us reside, the word first uttered is NO, and they love it so much they say it a lot. Usually it begins because Mom has tried to slip some strained brussel sprouts into their diet or because Dad misjudged the height of the ceiling when he tossed them into the air. So they have the word in their head and it just comes out every time you ask them if they broke the lamp or if they shaved the cat. As they age they get more creative and kids will repeat every word in the question you ask along with some form of yes or no, depending on the answer that is less likely to get them hung upside down in the basement for the night. If you ask them, “Did you clean your room?” they will respond with, “Room? Clean? Me? Yes.” Or your child will come into the room holding his parakeet, whose head is flopping around at what appear to be unnatural angles and you will ask, “What happened to Petey?” only to have your child tell you, “I was just holding him but now I think he’s taking a nap?

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is that the truth?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

What are You Suggesting?

Donn James

I have a suggestion for you. Stop making suggestions. And while you’re at it, please stop anticipating what I’m going to say or write. Before I hear my voice say it or see it written on the screen, even I don’t know what I’m thinking, much less saying so I don’t need to get into a guessing game with my app. I feel like having coleslaw, not having a colonoscopy. It seems I can’t do anything anymore without a suggestion and I’m getting more than a little tired of it. As a husband and a father I’m already used to being told what to do so the last thing I need are more apps ‘suggesting’ what I should do. As usual I’m probably overreacting so I think I’ll examine it a little more closely. I now have a voice telling me when to get on the freeway, when to get off the freeway and when to make a U-turn without regard to the 18-wheeler bearing down on me and while I’m used to hearing that from my wife, this is some disembodied voice coming out of my car speakers when all I really want is a good country song. When the Russians hack into this app I’ll probably be in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge and the voice will tell me to, “Make a left turn.”
The profligacy of suggestive apps has really robbed us of independent thinking as we blindly follow instructions. As it is apps are suggesting what shoes I should buy, what car I should drive when what I really need to know is which neighbor is most likely to go off the deep end. I’m sitting at home with ‘Alexa’ and she’s bugging me to turn on some lights and will play any music I like but I’ve found you just can’t listen to jazz with a hockey game on. And now I can’t even start a text to my friend Anthony without my phone asking me, “Did you mean Bob?” I can’t open Facebook without seeing suggestions about what I should be eating and where I should go to get it and my problem is that most of the meals I see on Facebook look like they’ve already been eaten. Right now on Facebook I’m looking at some concoction of strawberries, some white gunk that I can only hope is yogurt, but is probably mayonnaise, with something like oats or barley (the stuff you use to make beer) mixed in and all I can think is I hope the person who just ate that survived. And Google, please stop suggesting that I go eat raw fish as if it’s a real food instead of just something I feed my pet eagle.
I’m starting to think all these suggestions are just an extension of life as we age since we all grew up with parental suggestions…some more strongly worded than others as if they were more than suggestions. Before cell phone apps it was your mother saying, “Don’t touch that” “Put that down” “Get out of the house” “Stay away from that girl” “Don’t talk to strangers” “Wipe that off, you can still eat it” because we didn’t have Siri to say, “I’ve found 8 windowless vans in your neighborhood. Would you like directions?”
I’m sure that’s why all the voice apps default to a female voice to get the job done. Men are so predisposed to listen to their wives and mothers, the app makers believe the voice is more trustworthy or something but my Mother fed me tuna casserole and brussel sprouts so I was pretty skeptical of anything she suggested after that. Now, when I get a new voice app I just change it to the voice of an old man who sounds like a coach I had in 1967 because…well, I never listened to him.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…do you have a suggestion?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

I Think It’s in Aisle 4.

Donn James

A few odd things happened in the last couple of days that chipped away at my normal cheery demeanor and made me question the meaning of all life.
In the interest of full disclosure I did something the other day that many of you have done but I had avoided this faux pas to this point in my life so I’m not sure if it was a senior moment or just my turn. I was in Target, God help me, and I asked this guy where the shampoos were and when she turned around I realized I had erred on many fronts. Out of two possible genders I had opted for the wrong one, although the red vest and sideburns probably threw me off, and as if that wasn’t enough, when she turned and I noticed the casual business attire, it was clear she didn’t work there since most Target employees I’ve encountered dress like they just came from a yard sale in Reseda, and most have rings or posts protruding from parts of the body not typically known for being piercing-friendly. To my credit I tried to extricate myself from this situation with some grace so I apologized and said, “If this was your Target store, where would you put them?” Maybe it’s just a guy thing since I was so happy when Google Maps came out because I hate to ask for directions and I think it’s little enough to expect signs in stores to direct me to specific merchandise areas. I’m a guy and I know what I need to buy so make it easy for me to find it. It’s October 13th and I’m already hacking my way through Christmas and Valentine’s Day decorations just to get to the dog food. I’ll go somewhere else if you make it a damned scavenger hunt. You act like you’re the only place that sells engagement rings for $8.99.
It’s Friday and that is bagel day here at the office but apparently what we’ve spent on bagels we’ve more than made up for by going with a cheaper brand of plastic flatware as I’m trying to spread cream cheese on a bagel with a knife that has the tension quality of cooked spaghetti. It’s like trying to spread wet concrete with a dead leaf. If their spoons are like this they won’t even hold soup. The serrated edge on the knife is really just a tease because if you try and cut the bagel, the knife flops over like a clock in a Dali painting.
It’s also Friday the 13th so I’ve stopped looking for good news but I just saw on msn.com that members of congress are officially ranked below car salespeople in terms of honesty and ethics and I always thought the step below car salespeople was…prison. Then I read another article that said prisoners were rioting because they feel it’s cruel and unusual punishment to be associated with members of congress. 99% of me is embarrassed for America but there’s that 1% that’s actually proud of them. They set a goal and, by golly, they reached it. It’s hard for most Americans to understand the level of disgust most of us feel toward our elected representatives and I don’t care if you believe they are NRA puppets on one side or Climate-change puppets on the other, we have more than had our fill of their idiocy and lies. We should all be embarrassed because we feel the same distrust toward our body of government as we do when we see a windowless van cruise by our schools. Our dismay, disgust and distrust of them has reached the point where if they just came out and stood behind the microphone and picked their nose or scratched their butt…their ratings would probably improve.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…where do they keep the cat litter?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

What’s In A Name?

Donn James

I know I’m getting older because every day I wake up it’s another day and that’s just how it works. Time travel hasn’t been perfected yet so our only options are to age…or check out. All the while this is happening I find myself seeing signs of the passage of time in odd ways. I’ve mentioned that I see more doctors these days and they are all younger than I and every cop who wants to arrest me is younger than I and Playboy playmates who, it seems like just yesterday, could have been my babysitters could now be my granddaughters.
The most recent sign of aging surfaced, in what I call a brain, as I realized I know longer had any friends named Fred. They have all died. And I don’t have any friends left named Wally although I still have one Arnie, Stan and Ron but when I see them I can’t help but wonder how much longer they’re going to hang on because they’re not looking too good. I also have one friend left named Jed but I think that was biblical in nature and some of those tend to have a longer shelf life, which suits Jed well since he is seriously Old Testament old. The thing about biblical names is that they can make comebacks every so often but, even then, it can be gender-based. Right now, you can’t go into an elementary school these days and swing a dead cat without hitting a little boy named Noah but if you’re looking for a girl named Bathsheba or Esther, you need to look in an assisted-living senior center in Reseda.
On a lark I just ran through the entire student body of my high school and there are no Arnies, Stans, Bathshebas or Esthers anywhere on the pages so it appears we’ve reached the end of an era…namewise. There’s still a David here and there because apparently he was big in the Bible. Even more disconcerting was that, on the school roster there were no Donns or even the misspelled Don so I reckon I’m the last of my breed and that’s a lot of pressure to put on an old guy. I suspect I’ll eventually be applauded for not saddling any of my children with my name but I’d like not to be forgotten like Eugene Hammerschlag. Who’s that you say? Exactly. I mean I’ve become immune to being annually overlooked by the Nobel Committee for the peace prize I so richly deserve but I would like to be remembered for something more than burning an ant with a magnifying glass when I was 8 years old.
The mindset of naming babies has certainly changed in the last couple of generations. In the “old” days you might have been named George after the king, the president or the soldier. Now you’re named Levi after the jeans. Girls used to be named after a grandmother or favorite aunt and now they’re Ariel or Dory, so named after a fish. It’s only a matter of time before someone introduces me to their son Boxer and their daughter Flounder.
The other thing that has muddied the waters these days is that we have more gender-neutral names than in the past. Back when I was aging but not growing up we had Robert and if you liked that but had a girl you just slapped an a on the end and you had Roberta and you called both of them Bobby. Now, just like underwear, we’ve gone unisex with more names than in the past. Just off the top of my head (where I keep most things) I know youth of both genders named Morgan, Tanner, Taylor, Jordan, Kelly, Mason, Alex, Riley and Regan. What I don’t know is if parents are just getting lazy or they’re picking a name from the wrong list. What I do know is that 10 years from now a teacher will be having a parent/teacher conference and she’ll be talking to a husband and wife, both named Morgan…and that would never happen if your name was Earl.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…did you name it after something?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Sales | Leave a comment

What Was the Question?

Donn James

I suppose it could be considered a blessing and a curse but because I’m so damned pleasant and approachable, people think I might be interested in what they have to say. Sadly, for me, nothing could be further from the truth so I’m thinking of having some work done so I’ll appear less attractive and accessible because my advancing march into old age just isn’t working fast enough. I really don’t want to hear your story and I certainly don’t want to hear things you wouldn’t tell your priest and I really don’t want to hear about your kids, pets, in-laws or job. I have kids and pets of my own and, to my credit I think, I’ve not shared their trials, tribulations, accomplishments and defeats with you. I think a big part of my problem is that I look like someone who is a good listener but, in reality, half the time I’m just congratulating myself on what a good listener I’m pretending to be and the other half of the time I can’t hear you at all because I’m nearly deaf.
While we’re on the subject and since you didn’t ask I’ll tell you what else can bother me…questions. Most of my co-workers, friends and students know I categorize questions on two fronts…things you need to know and things you want to know. Anything you need to know I am happy to share that information with you; things you want to know you can look up for yourself. That’s why we have Google. No matter how many times you misspell a word Google will eventually realize your level of intelligence and come up with the word you’re seeking. Remember, there are no K’s in cat. And if, God forbid, you have a question, please just ask the question without spinning a short novella about why you need the answer. I don’t care and I need shorter, tighter stories or, better yet, no story at all. I have one acquaintance who talks to me like she’s a book on tape about why she needs to know the answer to her question, what it will mean to her, her family and all mankind and I’m thinking we may be solving the disappearance of Amelia Earhart when all she wants to know is how to divide 100 by 2. And for God’s sake stop asking me if you can ask me a question before you ask me the question because I really hate that. Just ask the damned question. I think people  started doing that to me because they’re afraid I’m going to say no…which I do but they ignore me and ask me anyway. I don’t care why you want to know the answer to your question. I don’t care if it will change your life, solve your problems and stop climate change or people who still believe the world is flat. I would almost relish a question that had some worth but it’s usually something pointless like how much to tip after a lap dance or how many times did the Dr. drop Steve Bannon on his head.
Since I don’t like questions you might think I don’t enjoy small talk but I do until it turns into questions. These days I rarely volunteer my opinion on subjects unless specifically asked and that is something I would like to see turn into a national trend. Hearing people’s opinions is what got us where we are today and since people are usually wrong, we can still turn this country around. In fact, the reason I don’t usually offer mine is that I don’t often care what others think so I don’t know why they would care what I think…even though I’m right.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s your take on it?

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