Who Gets Custody?

Donn James

I am slowly recovering from the latest traumatic issue to befall me and while I’m not looking for sympathy, a little understanding of my situation shouldn’t be too much to ask. I realized I was taking it too personally but when it’s happening to you, it’s hard not to take it personally. I had to get a haircut yesterday but that meant I had to find a new barber. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to be referred to as a barber but I’m too old to say stylist with a straight face. Plus, I remember when haircuts were a quarter so it pains me to pay an extra $49.75 because she has stylist written on her business card. That’s like calling a plumber a turd whisperer. I’m also of an age where I don’t like change so I’ve shopped in the same grocery store for 28 years; I get mad when my doctors retire or I have to buy new tires so, in this vein, finding a new barber was not a chore I relished.
A little backstory should clear things up for you. Like grocery stores I tend to keep barbers forever or until they tire of me or quit the business to get their medical license but I just lost my barber of several years in…a custody battle. I know I’m not a child or the beloved family turtle but I don’t think warring couples give enough thought to how it will affect their friends and, in my case, clients. I know I’ve made the right choice in the battle but I’m also sure this bravery will go overlooked…much like my haircut. Many of you will poo-poo my reluctance to find a new barber as trivial and that’s not really the point. I can agree that it’s not like I’m taking sides against my heart surgeon or the lady who turns on my oxygen but what may seem trivial to some can be critical to another. People can be selfish and will fight over the kids or the family dog but give barely a thought to how it might inconvenience me. So, because my family has opted for one side over the other also without regard to how it affects me, I have had to find and begin training a new barber so they don’t cut the wrong hair because I rarely look in the mirror so how would I know.
We all know couples who have been involved with custody battles over kids or pets but, as friends, we’re treated like second class citizens in these games of “Who wants a Divorce?” I think couples are being terribly selfish in never thinking how it will affect their friends, all because some pope decided hundreds of years ago that you had to take a side in the divorce court of life. I have always tried to see both sides and wish the best for both parties but it’s often hard because one of the two usually runs off to New Jersey to start over or search for a man or woman who understands their love of guns or bottle cap collections.
I’m certainly not inspired enough to start a support group for friends or clients of the soon-to-be unmarried but if just one of you appreciates my plight, I’ll feel better and can get my hair cut with confidence and not have to worry when she brings out the straight razor.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We are working hard on the 2019 catalog which will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…how’s your marriage?

Advertisements
Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Chicken Little was Right

Donn James

So I was driving along the 101 on Tuesday when this plane dropped out of the sky onto my freeway and stated to burn and when I saw the German markings on the plane, my first thought was that Snoopy finally got the Red Baron. they have been battling for years. What further intrigued me was my lack of surprise in that over the years on California freeways I have been delayed by wayward mountain lions, escaped chickens, an overturned truck carrying tomato paste, another carrying beer and one carrying honey and bees, so it was only a matter of time before something more dangerous than bird crap started falling out of the sky. I knew I would be OK because I had my iPad and an empty bottle but people around me looked a little panic-stricken. In truth, most people were probably natives and we generally took it in stride as we began the process of merging from 5 lanes into a 1-lane off ramp which is most closely akin to putting toothpaste back into the tube. As timely as this ordeal was we were mostly cordial, except for young men in pickups who are universally regarded as the worst segment of society and if we didn’t need them to grow up and be politicians, they would be completely useless. We then spent 2 exits crawling along the frontage road looking to people on Jupiter like the world’s largest caterpillar and we were probably more concerned with the 4 idiot news helicopters hovering above us trying to get the best view of the Red Baron burning in the middle of the freeway.
I know you’re all wondering how I’m going to segue into a topic on food. Well, here goes.
All this time spent going nowhere had most of us tuned to news stations as they laughingly suggested alternate routes none of us could get to and which were already packed to capacity because the news is usually the last to know. While the news was often concentrated on the now hunk of metal burning, they would still do news and one item caught my ear and it told of the death of Dorcas Reilly at 92 and I can tell you, it brought a tear to my eye because Dorcas, as we all knew her, is in a great measure responsible for what many of us have become. We owe her a debt of gratitude, especially as we enter the holiday season, as she takes her place among great women we should all admire and emulate when we can. Women like Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Amelia Earhart, Sally Ride, Mother Teresa, Sandra Day O’Connor, Cleopatra and…Dorcas Reilly. Women have invented some wonderful things but the aquarium, uranium, Kevlar, beer and the Miracle Mop pale in comparison to Dorcas’ invention because in 1955 she invented the…green bean casserole, which has graced every smart Thanksgiving table in the last 63 years. In those days everyone had Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup in the house, hell, we used it as a burn ointment and green beans were cheap so everyone had those and it became a holiday staple. Nowadays for 364 days a year you’ll only find the soup and beans served at homeless shelters or in survivalist huts in Montana but for that other day, it reigns supreme. One time someone said they didn’t think we had room for it so I threw everything with kale or quinoa in it into the garbage and there was plenty of room. So, as we enter the holiday season please give a silent thank you to Dorcas for the best side dish in the history of side dishes and maybe shed a tear for the fact that she died of Alzheimer’s so she probably didn’t even remember inventing it.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We are working hard on the 2019 catalog which will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what goes with that?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

This Oil Feels a Little Fishy

Donn James

Well, I have a couple of things on my mind this morning and I thought, who better to irritate with them? While I really don’t mind Google replacing me as the go-to person to get the answer to a question that is not bothering anyone, nobody cares about and will do nothing to improve your lot in life; it was just exhausting for me and I’m looking forward to getting rid of some of the trivia I’ve had locked away up here so I have room for more important things like the Periodic Table sign for Mercury or the calorie count in a ‘Bloomin’ Onion.’ I admit to being torn between the ease of having the answer to every question you could possibly need answered somewhere in my phone and the processes we had to go through in the past. I have a real concern that Google has put the answer to everything on our phone so we now know everything but have learned nothing. I know young people who can’t add their golf scores without using the calculator on their phone but can use the same phone to tell me how many pumpkin-related deaths we had last Halloween. I’m OK with the immediate ease of information but I fear this ease has replaced permanence of learning things for which you had to work. It might be all right for trivia night at your local bar but if you’re in the woods without reception, you might want to know how fast a bear can run.
This whole fish oil thing is starting to feel a little fishy. I’m a husband and a father so I’m used to doing what I’m told so now I take a softgel fish oil thing every day and the bottle tells me to take with water as if I couldn’t figure that out. The pill is the size and the shape most resembling a football so I need a gallon of water just to get it past my gullet and I pray it starts to dissolve before it drops into my stomach like a wide receiver just spiked it in the end zone. Because I’m doing what I’m told I get to ignore the clear warnings on the label that when paraphrased essentially say, “We don’t even know if this works and nobody has tested it” as well as the warnings that tell me that if I’m facing surgery, pregnant or nursing, taking other medication, have bleeding problems or blood that doesn’t clot…consult your physician. At my age there are no living people not taking other medication so what they’re really saying but don’t want to is, “If you’re breathing, check with your doctor.” So now I’m taking a pill that might, could, sort of reduce the chance of heart disease but the warning labels are giving me a heart attack. I’m supposed to take one with all three meals as if anyone ate three meals a day anymore. Some days I’m lucky I have time for one but if I’m walking through a county fair…I’ll have six. Reading the label deeper I find the fish oil comes from anchovy, sardine and mackerel so it’s not like they spared no expense to make these because those were the kind of fish I ate when I had no money but they tout the fact these are free ocean and not farm-raised fish as if I could tell whether or not my pill had been to the Baja peninsula. I’m pretty sure the company is not dropping divers into the deep ocean so they can spearfish for anchovies. I can also tell you my mayonnaise is made with cage-free eggs and it doesn’t taste any different just because the chicken has a tan.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We are working hard on the 2019 catalog which will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s the capital of Borneo?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Let Me Spell It Out for You

Donn James

The Oxford English Dictionary currently suggests there are at least 250,000 words in our language with the majority of them being current like bacon, couch and idiot while about 48,000 are considered obsolete in that we rarely hear them anymore…words like please, thanks and sorry. Now, I like to think I know a lot of words and I spell most of them correctly so even though I have spellcheck and auto-correct on my phone and iPad, it really doesn’t come into play that much for me but I know plenty of people whose message would be indecipherable without it. There are people with whom I text who could be trying to tell me about their sister’s wedding but when I read their text it looks like they’re asking for directions to Budapest.
I’ve mentioned before how much I dislike the use of acronyms in texting because I don’t care if you’re Laughing Out Loud or …Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. In fact, I think people who text B4 should be shot and if you type U because the y and o are just too far away, you might consider a nap.
What started this diatribe was that I had a friend who told me their spellcheck didn’t recognize a word they typed and it wouldn’t auto-correct. So let me get this straight. You’re typing what you think is a “word” into an electronic device that knows ALL the words and the device doesn’t even recognize it. Furthermore, you’re so far away from a real word that your device which, let me remind you, knows ALL the words and can’t even come up with a suggestion. It’s like your phone just looks at you and says, “I know 250,000 words and you’re not close to any of them.” The only thing worse it could do is have its Home button throw its little hands in the air and yell, “I give up.” The next notice you’ll get from your phone is to change your language preference because it knows you can’t be typing in English. So, if you’re sitting at home wondering how many Z’s are in the word zoo, I’m guessing you’re the problem and I don’t think I should be seen with you anymore.
I understand that texting is the newest and quickest way to pass along information, stay in touch and communicate but I remain opposed to the use of acronyms just because you’re lazy, think your message is the most important thing in my life or worse, you think your time is important when…it’s not. I’m desperately trying not to be some kind of a Neanderthal so I happily embrace the majority of the advances on my phone and I haven’t looked at a paper map in years because I trust GPS. I also find it convenient to have phone numbers and email addresses close at hand because my brain was running out of room to memorize them. That said, I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in asking for a little civility when texting because I don’t want your text to me to read like a word game I have to decode. It would be one thing if you were using all the time you saved by writing B4, U and OMG to cure cancer but you might want to remember you were just wondering how many Z’s were in the word zoo, so I’m guessing your med school applications are still in your parents’ basement. And if you think the text will get to me faster because you’ve shortened every word, I can tell you that “Frank is on his way” is not what I consider time-sensitive.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We are working hard on the 2019 catalog which will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you ROTFL?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Go Fly a Kite!

Donn James

I’m a big fan of capitalism even as I see it running amok through the world. Capitalism is why I’m allowed to do this and, at some point, is even the reason I have clean underwear. That said I’m also in favor of us all becoming more selfless because lately it seems we have just invented problems that don’t exist to invent solutions we don’t need. How badly did we need a ‘motion sensor’ paper towel dispenser in the gas station bathroom? Was it just too difficult for the general population to figure out the directions to do it manually? Couldn’t we just have printed the instructions on the towel holder? Step 1.  Grab paper towel. Step 2. PULL. That’s really about it. Couldn’t the inventor’s time be better spent curing something? I can now unlock my car and start it from the comfort of my bed but I have to mainline a Z-Pac and live in a sweat lodge just to keep a cold from turning into pneumonia. How badly do we need the vice grip on our toothpaste so we can squeeze out every last dollop of goo that we just end up spitting in our sink? I’ve got this funny looking mole so how about we work a little harder on melanoma?
Like many of you I’m cool with the wheel, fire, electricity and every time I think of the Donner Party chewing on their neighbor’s arm, I’m happy we invented planes so I don’t get my covered wagon stuck in a bad part of town but these inventions were need-based and not profit-oriented like so much of the crap we now find on sale at Amazon. The first people who came upon fire had just learned to walk upright and they were tired of saber-toothed tiger tartare. And they didn’t do it for the money since they were still trying to invent the loincloth and most Neanderthals were still trying to bring down a T-Rex with a rock. Inventing the wheel was an even bigger deal because about 6,000 years ago we invented metal chisels and saws and started to build communities so we could all stop being gypsies but it didn’t occur to us to use part of the tree to carry the damned tree. The wheel was actually the most difficult invention when you consider that we hadn’t even invented things as simple as the toothbrush, deodorant or color film. Once they figured out how to cut a chunk of the tree trunk for a wheel, they realized without an axle all they had was a cute coffee table so they had to invent the axle. From there things went quickly and they invented the wheelbarrow which made the guy following the circus through town very happy. Since electricity is energy and nobody invented it and instead focused on harnessing it, it may not qualify here and none reading this or writing this even understand why it works, I’ll just mention that we’re all happy because it led to flashlights and the NFL network.
I think we would all be better served if people inventing spray-on tans, spray-on hair and banana slicers would be more selfless and invented things that elevated us as people. Geez, how incapable are you if you can’t slice a banana without a trip to the emergency room? New inventions and new testing would help us all advance because I’d like to visit a doctor’s office without having to turn my head and cough.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. And the IMC 2018.5 flyer is out and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…did you invent that?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

What are You Wearing?

Donn James

While I am a proponent of free speech, we should start considering handing out some jail sentences or medication for stupidity because we clearly have an abundance of people whose actions leave much to be desired. This is certainly not a job for Congress but some smart people should get together and stop making stupidity a virtue. Someone had the unmitigated gall to post an article on the internet last week about the “30 Best Recipes for Kale.” I have made my position clear, concise and correct in the past so unless Step 1 of each recipe is “Replace kale with bacon” you should, at least, be subject to a fine. But hey…it’s a free country. Have you ever noticed that anytime someone says that, they’re about to do something crappy? Nobody holds the door open for you and says that; it’s usually just after they run over your foot that you hear, “Hey, it’s a free country.” I’m happy for the freedoms I have to say the things I do but nowhere in the Bill of Rights have I found the right to abandon common decency. The other day I saw a bald old man wearing socks with Crocs, cargo shorts and an untucked Hurley T-shirt and this multitude of offenses was initially too much for my brain to comprehend and I may have suffered a small stroke. When I recovered I mentally listed the issues. If you are out of high school or have your GED, that Hurley shirt should only be a rag in your garage you use to polish the headlights on your VW bus. And tuck your shirt in. I, like many men, easily have an extra 10 or 40 pounds I could discard but I can still manage to put my shirt where it belongs so stop wearing your shirts billowing out like they were a roof and you were trying to keep your butt dry. And Crocs with socks? Were you born in Berlin? At any age you should burn, or technically melt, those Crocs into a puddle of rubber and use it to stormproof your windows this winter. If this weren’t a free country we could easily ban the sale of cargo shorts to people over the age of 12 since that should be the cutoff. They were invented for kids who wanted to carry around rocks and frogs. You’re an adult for crying out loud and likely have nothing of import to carry around anyway. If you must, buy a Schwinn with a front basket because you’ll incur the same abuse. If you’d like I’d be happy to write this all out on a sign for everyone but I won’t write it in cursive because nobody can read cursive anymore and my high school students can’t even spell it. I’m not one of those who believe the demise of cursive in schools has given rise to alcoholism and the prison population and, in fact, I really don’t miss it at all even though it is a pleasure to read. I stopped using it because I’m left-handed and every line I wrote ended up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting and now if I have to write a note; I print it and tell everyone my ink lasts longer if I lift it off the page after every letter. We all use our phones and email for messaging so if you like cursive, just grab a cursive font and everybody young will just think it’s an unbreakable code. And if you have a problem with anyone about that just tell them what I do, “Hey, it’s a free country” and if they still have an issue with it you can always say, “You can’t fix stupid.”

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. And the IMC 2018.5 flyer is out and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is this easy to read?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Can I Hold the Baby?

Donn James

I’m quickly learning that having a new baby around but not in my house is really the best of all possible worlds because I can cry myself to sleep without being disturbed by a baby crying me awake and I don’t have to hide the dog food until he starts crawling. People in the previous generation were always telling me this was the best of times but they were the same people who told me bacon was healthy, cigarettes were good for the throat, the Earth was flat and a weekly leeching will cure anything; so their track record with the truth has been spotty at best.
So now I’m looking forward to filling the little guy full of sugar and sending him home or taking him to a political rally for someone his parents hate. And I’m sure someday I’ll prop him up on my knee and attempt to explain life before cell phones, flying cars and Google. I can hardly wait to tell him little boys and girls used to have to traipse through the woods dodging wolves and evil witches to get to Grandma’s house and now you pull up in an SUV. Certainly there will come a time when my grandchild will think I’m the oldest thing in the world and after a couple of hours with him…I’ll probably believe it too. When I look at him now I can already see the family resemblance and when he is older, I’ll delight in telling him how much alike we were when he was a baby because we both had no teeth, no hair and we were never sure when we wet our pants. I fully expect to begin talking in the third person, as in, “That’s not the way we do things at Grandma’s” or “Take that diaper off your head at Grandma’s.” I also expect to begin liking things I never enjoyed if that is what my grandchild likes so when he falls in love with ballet, I’ll brush up on my Baryshnikov and pretend to love it.
He has just this week started spending time on his tummy in order to strengthen his neck and back muscles and the “everybody’s an expert” bloggers call it “tummy-time.” I know babies will roll over when they figure it out but the latest craze is to do it for them and these idiots scare new mothers by telling them if they don’t do it early, they will end up with an 8-year old yelling, “Mommy, come roll me over.”
I do delight in holding him every now and then and am eager to see him grow, learn and develop into the man I know he can be but when I hold him I can’t help but remember something I learned long ago. I did not invent this and if my memory was what it needed to be, I would certainly give credit to the original author for the following: Do you realize that a baby is the only thing that comes out of someone else’s body that other people want to hold? You never hear anyone say, “Can I hold that snot?” or “I’d love to pick up that vomit.” Most things that come out of a person’s body can’t be disposed of fast enough but a baby and everyone is all “Isn’t he beautiful” and “coochie-coo.” Everybody wants to hold the baby without regard for his origin but I have a little gas and everyone is spraying the house with Lysol and looking for a surgical mask. And nobody takes their dog for a walk so they can say “coochie-coo” to a plastic bag headed for the dumpster.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. And the IMC 2018.5 flyer is out and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…which way to Grandma’s house?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment