Scoot Over Here!

Donn James

Not that anyone cares but I am safely back from our annual convention in Las Vegas and, as usual, I couldn’t escape that hell soon enough. Though I rarely feel old even as I’m surrounded by younger people, there is the distinct possibility that I have aged out of Las Vegas because after 45 years of thoughtful contemplation I’ve concluded that Vegas is only great if you have a burning desire to see 2 million people not acting their age. America has done some embarrassing things lately but it’s particularly disturbing in Vegas because the first American phrase that foreigners seem to learn is, “Let’s do shots!” and I’m not sure that’s the image we want to portray but I don’t really expect Las Vegas to tighten up their visitor policy although, if they need my help, I’ve come up with some suggestions for the Las Vegas Tourism Board.
The first people they should ban are those who walk around wearing surgical masks as if they were on their way to transplant a kidney. Las Vegas was built in the desert and there is not a lot of smog so unless your next stop is downtown Tokyo or you’re robbing a 7-11 later, leave the mask in your suitcase. I mean really…how badly do you want to live? Even though half our offices came back sick I think it’s a small price to pay to not look like a homeless scrub nurse.
Next on my list is the issue of pure tonnage. Now, while I am a lot farther below ‘1 pound under obese’ than our leader, I admit I could lose a pound or 25, but I think the hotels are missing a bet without Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig outlets on site because Las Vegas is a temporary home for the largest people to walk this planet. It’s like watching an army of sumo wrestlers who have gone off their diets. And even sumo wrestlers are more appropriately dressed because these “big-boned” humans are in Bermuda shorts or leggings. I understand that Vegas has long been clock free in the casinos in the hope that people don’t know when they lost all their money but I wasn’t aware they had also banned mirrors. When your plane is grounded and can’t leave because they don’t have enough seat belt extenders…that should be a sign.
To its credit and disdain, Las Vegas has spawned a number of cottage industries with the number 1 being Scooter Rental. You could offer me a bank of slot machines and I would still take the scooter concession because they are everywhere. I only stayed so thin while I was there due to the exercise I received dodging them on the convention floors and trying to get through the casino to a restaurant without having a hip broken by a bad driver. Probably the best part of people-watching in Las Vegas is seeing an old guy hobble to the scooter area and strap on his walker…and his oxygen tank to the back and then burn rubber to his favorite slot machine…where he promptly turns off his oxygen while he lights a cigarette. We even had more scooters than normal on the convention floor and it begs the question, how do you call on clients if the mere act of standing makes an alarm go off in the fire department? We did have a little excitement at our booth when a lady on a scooter (with a service dog loping beside her) ran into the right corner of our booth. Now, we have a heavy booth so there was no harm done but she complicated matters when she tried to back up and ran over her dog. I can get you her address if you’re in the market for a 3-legged service dog.
Doing the math I guess I have about 360 days before I have to return and I don’t expect them to move the convention because it has attractions and is always well-attended, productive and informative but I would still be happier if they held it in a bird flu detention center in Riyadh only because once you leave the convention center, it would be nice if everyone you saw didn’t act like they were auditioning for Clown College.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…Vegas Baby?

Advertisements
Posted in Brands, Promotions, Promotional Products, Travel, Customer Service, Retail Brands, Business Gifts, Sales, Manufacturing | Leave a comment

Vegas, Baby!

Donn James

I’ll be missing part of next week because I’m being dragged kicking and screaming to Las Vegas for our biggest convention of the year. I understand this is not the message the Nevada Tourism Bureau is trying to get out but my company seems willing to overlook my natural aversion to salespeople and is counting on my firm handshake and winning personality to carry the day. To be fair, it is a great convention and we actually make deals and see connections but it’s still in Las Vegas and I’d rather spend three days in a dumpster behind a nuclear refinery in downtown Beirut than go to Vegas. Going to Las Vegas is like being told you can live forever but it has to be in a garage in Needles. Vegas is like going to visit your in-laws only to find out they’ve put in a Ferris wheel and a museum dedicated to all the matchbooks they’ve collected since the first big war. And to really draw the crowds, they now have a room dedicated to Aunt Ethel’s thimble collection. Vegas is where people go to forget the bachelor or bachelorette party they haven’t attended yet.
In reality, the convention centers inside the big casinos are not really Vegas so I don’t want to seem prejudiced against everything there…although I’m probably failing at that endeavor. From everything I’ve experienced in the last 45 years I can tell you that having a convention in Las Vegas is like having a birthday party in the 8th Circle of Hell. Because the second you step out of the casino somebody is handing you a flyer with numbers of men and women you probably wouldn’t take home to meet Grandma.
One area notably absent from the city’s advertising campaign is the downtown area which also functions as a giant welcome room for the state’s prisons. It should be fenced off with “Enter At Your Own Risk” signs everywhere because if you walk those streets, at the very least you’re going to need a tetanus shot…and probably a transfusion. There is a zip line above the main street and as you ride it, you feel like you’re flying through a season of Jerry Springer episodes. I don’t expect to spend any time in the downtown area since the only conventions down there are sponsored by parole boards and rehab clinics.
People visit Las Vegas and somehow forget the other 49 states also have alcohol so they drink like they’re hydrating for a marathon. If I wanted to hang around with drunks at 9:00 in the morning, I’d visit Russia again. It’s the only town in America where being drunk in public is on everyone’s résumé. Thankfully, I’ll be busy with the convention and somewhat divorced from the action on the strip so I’ll also run into fewer orange people. I don’t know if it’s the weird lighting or they’re bringing in tanning oil by tanker truck but there are a lot of orange people. And it’s not the softer ‘Hollywood’ orange where they apply a light orange spray and tell you they just vacationed in Cabo. The Vegas orange is much harsher…like they dropped you into hot oil like you were an order of French fries. Seeing a crowd in Las Vegas is like seeing a giant bag of tangerines…with feet.
Over time Las Vegas has made modest efforts to present the city as family-friendly but for most of the casinos that just means they have a couple of RV parking spots at the back end of the property. The strip also has stores dedicated to the Coca Colas of the world and to M&Ms but visiting them doesn’t qualify you for a Girl Scout merit badge or anything. They are the only places in the town without slot machines so at least it’s quiet and sometimes you just have to slip into one of them to avoid the greasy guy trying to slip you another flyer.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we’re busy getting ready for PPAI 2018 where we invite you to visit Booth 3751 to see what’s new from IMC in our collections and out retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is that your real skin color?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Just Getting Started

Donn James

Well, we all seem to have survived the first business week of 2018 and while it wasn’t much of a challenge, it’s still difficult to even realize it’s 2018. It doesn’t even flow trippingly off the tongue; it’s almost like we can’t believe it even as we’re saying it. If somebody 60 years ago had asked me what I’d be doing in 2018, I would have said something like, “That’s not a real year…you just can’t make years up.” High school kids that I coach now probably can’t grasp the concept of 2050 any more than I could grasp the concept of 2018 in the 1950s.
It’s certainly clear that sci-fi writers and the creators of Star Trek were far ahead of real life because I’m not leaving here by floating through the air up to my flying car which is tethered to a drone above my offices and although we have made great strides in some arenas it would be nice to have my own phaser. I recently was in the hospital and they now take your temperature by rolling the thermometer across your forehead which I can tell you is a vast improvement over how I had my temperature taken in the ‘50s. Anything that is inserted into a spot evolution designed as ‘exit only’ can’t be changed fast enough for me so I smiled every time they waved that new Dr. McCoy wand over my forehead. I also had an operation that was done almost exclusively with robots…except they still need doctors to lie to you. The last thing I heard the anesthesiologist say was, “Just breathe…this is just oxygen.” I woke up 4 hours later checking to make sure I still had all my body parts. They were all there but I had enough new holes in my torso that I whistled when I breathed. Seriously, I looked like a practice dummy for a band of Ninjas who just finished throwing star practice. Anyway, robotics is clearly the future of medicine and the doctors are controlling the robot arms with the same kind of iPad I would use to order take-out food but it’s kind of weird to be paying all this money to have doctors essentially playing a video game with my organs. I halfway expect them to call my liver ‘Mario’ or say we’re going to play ‘Grand Theft Aorta.’ Now, it may seem like I’m not a fan of robotic procedures but I am, if only because I don’t have to worry about a robot getting the hiccups while it’s cupping my gall bladder.
As for 2018 we (America and me), as we have done every year to date, are going to start off slowly and build exponentially to a rousing cacophony of mindless idiocy in the hopes of making it to December where we will thank everyone for coming along on the ride.
Happy New Year!!!

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we’re busy working on plans for PPAI 2018 where we invite you to visit Booth 3751 to see what’s new from IMC in our collections and out retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s new with you?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Do You Smell Smoke?

Donn James

So it’s like I’m sitting here in an oven that is pre-heating. I’m relatively safe but I can’t seem to go in any direction that doesn’t take me into the fire so I’m starting to feel like a turkey I just put in the smoker…it’s all indirect heat but I’m cooking nonetheless. What’s odd is that so many people are shocked as if this doesn’t happen to some degree every year about this time though I will admit this is a particularly bad year. Let’s see, it’s now December, it hasn’t rained since February and humidity is hovering around 8% which means if you want fresh water you have to drive to Oregon so I don’t know what people expect. It’s so dry out today you could start a fire just by putting jalapenos on your burger and when you combine that with what they’re calling hurricane-force winds, it’s not that outrageous to see the fires spread. Imagine the big bad wolf trying to blow your house down and then the Human Torch flies through your living room.
On the news they always talk about how much of any fire is contained and they always say it as a percentage as if they did the math. Imagine a pie…just one made from the fires of hell as opposed to fresh peaches; so if they have cut a dirt line around a quarter of the pie and have guys with big squirt guns guarding the dirt line, then the fire is 25% contained. Problem is that the fires rarely watch the news and the fire in Ventura just jumped a 6-lane freeway and median because it heard there were some tasty houses by the beach. Wood shingles might be pretty but they’re about as fire retardant as your kid’s pajamas.
An odd by-product of the season is that I hear from friends and family I’m usually trying to forget even existed. They all think I am either rolling in the dirt to put out the flames or at least have my car packed with wedding photos, pets and Cheetos (their food of flight). Because most of them are living in towns so small that you can hold a conversation in the middle of the damned street and you’re never holding anyone up, they can’t grasp the reality of the size of California. These are really small towns…you never get carded in the only bar in town because everyone in the town remembers when you were born. You were valedictorian in high school because you were smarter than your twin sister. You have to date your friend’s ex because everyone else in town is a relative. You never use your blinkers because if there is anyone behind you, they already know where you’re going. Anyway, when they hear California and fire I guess they just assume we’re all being toasted. Now, while my friends and relatives are no threats to Einstein, most people in other parts of the country can’t equate the size of California to anything and require some kind of reference point but when I try and explain to the other coast that if we laid California on the east coast it would stretch from New Hampshire to the Carolinas, their eyes tend to glaze over and drool starts slipping down their shirts.
I hope everyone is safe, cool, or at least not burning, and able to enjoy the holiday season…except for the talking heads on TV who continue to say, “burned to the ground” as if there was another possible way for things to burn. Have they never heard of gravity?

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we’re busy working on the 2018 version which will feature new products and new retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…do you like s’mores?

Posted in Promotional Products | Leave a comment

Don’t I Get Credit for That?

Donn James

I suppose you can surmise by this printing that I have, to date, escaped the accusations, firings and congressional inquiries blanketing the country these days so I can only assume my behavior has consistently be seen as appropriate. Well, be still my heart. You should be worried because that should give you some indication of how low the bar has been set. To be fair, I have been blessed with a long-time love and as many know, I don’t like many other people and often go out of my way to avoid people so I’ve probably had less chances to be inappropriate than Roy Moore or Harvey Weinstein but I’d like to know when and if I’ll get some credit for being a human being because right now I’m feeling a little slighted.
It’s strangely incongruous that we have a tendency to celebrate, idolize and record the histories more of people who have started doing something right after years of doing something wrong. The importance of righting yourself with a ‘second chance’ far outweighs the lack of celebration for those who have not stumbled over their tongue or otherwise erred badly in their personal life. Let’s discuss a few examples: Subway’s Jared used to be on TV with his fat pants because he became rich and famous only after deciding to eat the right amount of sandwiches. All he did was switch to turkey and substitute lettuce and tomato for mayo and potato chips but I have spent 50-some years eating the right amount of sandwiches so I can fit comfortably in an airline seat and I have nothing to show for it. Hot on the heels of Jared’s rise to fame on TV came a show called The Biggest Loser and the biggest loser received $250,000 for their weight-loss efforts. People who looked like they had been sired by Wun Wun on Game of Thrones and Jabba the Hutt lined up in an attempt to win. All the contestants had to do was get yelled at by a trainer, eat the correct amount of food and exercise like they were on a chain gang in Alabama and poof…they lost weight. Mystery solved. Now, I’ll never be called thin but I’ve never been asked to leave a plane so it could take off and I still weigh less than these people do after they lose the weight so…where’s my money? And these celebrations are not always food-related. We all know people who have struggled with addictions of one sort or another and to come out on the other side of that is to be commended but should it be celebrated over people who have not fallen victim to these curses? I say no so if you’re throwing an anniversary party for someone because they’ve been off crack for 7 years, don’t invite me unless you’re also celebrating the 50-some years I’ve never been on crack.
The 99% of men and women who pass for normal get no credit and yet we appear shocked and outraged by the 1% we’ve always known are out there. We all grew up with kids our parents didn’t want around us because they knew they were the kinds of kids who, in 20 years would be dragging us to a Burning Man weekend…and nobody wants that. Back in the day as the kids say, we were still segregated for Sex Ed and the boys had to watch black and white film clips from the 50’s warning us not to go fishing with some guy named Ralph…so I still don’t trust guys named Ralph. I think the girls were taught not to sell Girl Scout cookies with someone named Frankie.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and the 2018 IMC catalog has gone to print so we’ll have it in our hands for the PPAI show in Las Vegas with new products and new retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…have you lost weight?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Thanks, Pilgrim.

Donn James

As we careen into the Thanksgiving Day weekend many people think it’s the only time of the year we need to be thankful and live their lives accordingly selfishly but, in reality, most of us are just searching for the wine that pairs best with irritating relatives and friends. A disturbing tradition that is gaining traction instead of disappearing like it should is that many families will put all their relatives on the spot by forcing them to say why they’re thankful as they stare into the cavity of the turkey in front of them on the table. Now, I’ve mentioned in the past that I hate gatherings where they do this so I always say, “I’m thankful I’m not a serial killer” to a room full of friends and relatives. After suffering an outcry from everyone in the room I calmly say, “Hey, I’m the only person in the room we know isn’t a serial killer so I’m a little worried about the rest of you.”
So, in the wake of the holiday and everything for which we should be thankful I’m getting into the spirit by sharing a few things for which I’m not thankful.
I’m not thankful for movies with a 1:45 start time when the movie doesn’t start until 2:08 because of the commercials and previews. My shoes are off and the seats recline so if I have to wait 23 minutes for the feature to start, that means I’ve been asleep for 22 minutes. Here’s the deal…I’m in the theatre so why do I have to watch commercials about the theatre? I’m already here, I’ve successfully traversed the gamut required to purchase a ticket, so why do I have to learn how easy it is to buy a ticket, order bad food and turn my phone off? So stop irritating the demographic you’ve already captured with seats that fold into a bed and start marketing elsewhere. Maybe get a kid to spin a sign out on Thousand Oaks Blvd. And if you’re going to the theatre because you think they know how to make a Moscow Mule…you need to learn how to drink.
I’m also not very thankful for Costco not having an express lane on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when all I need is a pumpkin pie. While you’re at it you could put a hold on the free lunch you’re serving in the middle of every aisle. I’m just carrying one pie and I can barely navigate the aisles this week so the people tying things up while they stuff themselves on meatballs and pizza rolls is more than irritating. My Costco is in Westlake Village and I’d like an express lane all the time but this week is especially bad with a lack of parking as cars circle the lot like vultures. You have to take an Uber to get there or expect to park in Long Beach and walk from there unless you can afford to rent an airplane and parachute in from 5,000 feet. The real reason I want an express lane is that I’m a guy and I know what I want…I don’t walk every aisle looking to make another bad decision so it’s especially frustrating when I just need a pie and every other customer is there restocking their mini-mart in Clovis.
And Black Friday can just go to hell while we’re at it. I’m not thankful for it being covered as if it is real news and if I see one more TV interview of someone who won’t wait in line for two minutes at an ATM but who will spend the night in a lawn chair in front of Walmart because they might run out of ‘Barbies’ well, I can’t be held responsible for my actions. And if you leave your family Thanksgiving celebration to go directly to the sales, I hope your car breaks down…because then I’ll be thankful.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we’re busy working on the 2018 version which will feature new products and new retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…have you given thanks?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Please Don’t Get a Side of That.

Donn James

I was at my weekly business lunch yesterday and while we routinely solve the world’s problems, at least to our satisfaction, this is not to say we are without fault, though none of us is likely to be incarcerated for insider trading, colluding with Russia or inappropriate sexual conduct so I don’t expect to see any of our names in the NY Times or to have paparazzi camped on our front lawns. What is mildly interesting is that these captains of industry, though we have manners indicating a proper upbringing, have eating habits which would make a garbage dump maggot recoil in horror. Seriously, a Norwegian wharf rat living in a dumpster would throw up if he saw our plates. Now, I normally hold my tongue because of my self-imposed mantra of Courtesy Costs You Nothing but they are getting used to my eye-rolling when they try and describe their order to a waiter. In past notes I have mentioned my associate who likes things light years beyond cooked…petrified is the word that best describes anything that comes out of the kitchen for him. His perfect bacon is if it comes out of the kitchen as just a pile of ash on his plate. The other day he ordered eggs benedict which traditionally celebrate the poached egg but he wanted his eggs one step beyond hard-boiled which I believe is called…rock. I’m convinced if there wasn’t Hollandaise sauce to hold them down, his eggs would have rolled off his plate. You could have played croquet with these eggs. Yesterday he ordered chicken tenders so well done they looked like they had the texture and bite of…chicken lips. I have another friend who orders the wedge salad almost every week but can’t summon the energy to cut it so he makes the kitchen chop it up and drown it in ranch dressing, the most degenerate of all condiments. Ordering ranch dressing is like saying, “Don’t shoot me, I’m already committing suicide.” In the same vein, the gentleman on my right wants everything with a side of BBQ sauce because he is adventurous in nature or because he was raised on the west side and never got to pretend to be a cowboy. I’m so used to seeing that side of BBQ sauce near his plate, I won’t be surprised when he starts stirring it into his coffee. Lastly, the gentleman on the other side of the row and down a couple from me wants his french fries well done which essentially means leave them in the burning oil until they stop screaming. What is well done for a french fry? Isn’t that just a potato chip?
As much as I would like to get to the bottom of this issue, it just appears to be a time and environmental thing. We are all of an age where there were only two condiments…ketchup and mustard, and most of you can’t imagine living in an era where mayonnaise was considered exotic. It was a sad, dark time in America’s history because you could buy a hamburger for $.15 but balsamic was for furriners. In music we were experiencing the British invasion with the Beatles and Stones but we made them leave their vinegar in London as in the wake of the Cold War the idea of vinegar on fish was treasonous. Oddly, McDonald’s put pickles on your hamburger but relish was considered to be the work of the devil.
As a group, in spite of our culinary atrocities we do band together and collaborate on projects for the good of mankind like making easier-to-open pill bottles since we are the over-medicated generation but don’t believe it should take a doctorate, scissors and a wrench just to take two aspirin. We’re also just minutes away from bringing you a flying car. We work together after all, because we are the generation that invented the saying, “There is no I in team” but then my friend reminded me that, “That’s only because they needed two I’s to spell idiot.”

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…would you like ketchup with that?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment