Leaving Las Vegas

Donn James

Well, I made it back from Las Vegas safely if not soundly and even had money in my pockets because I saved four quarters just in case phone calls from hell were more expensive than here on earth. I also avoided the 19-car winter storm pileup in the Cajon Pass because well, the plane flew right over it. As usual, the flight was the best part of the trip and lest you think I’m being unfair to Vegas let me proclaim in the vernacular of the day that I’m totally cool with Vegas staying in Vegas. It’s still a great place to go if you need a $7 roll of Lifesavers or a $15 coke but they have far too many visitors and you all know how I feel about people in general. I think it was probably a beautiful place when it was just a desert but then they put in a slot machine and a couple of people from Iowa and it went downhill from there. After having to visit almost annually over the last 40+ years I have noticed some changes and that is usually not a good sign. Years ago all the old people wore matching leisure suits but now they’re all wearing matching track suits as if they could at any minute drop their canes and break into a jog. Was there a sale on these suits at Walmart?
I know I mentioned last year the increase in these damned scooter carts. This year the increase reached the proliferate stage as they were everywhere, running into each other, clipping unsuspecting pedestrians and half of them are towing wagons or suitcases behind them as if they were seeking asylum in a new country. I just don’t understand how you can use one of these and then say you call on customers; do they have to meet you at your car with a wheelchair? And over the last year I’ve become positively blasé about those who get their hair color out of a crayon box but usually it’s just one crayon and one person isn’t trying to impersonate all the Teletubbies at once.
This year I saw more of what I would discreetly call “unusual hairstyle choices” with spikes, mohawks, half a haircut, to add to the rainbow of colors I didn’t even know were in the rainbow which leads me to the belief that hair stylists should be drug-tested before getting a license. I really don’t understand the half a haircut where one side is buzzed and you have hair on the other side of your head. When you face a certain way do you tell people you’re a Marine?
What I also saw this year was thousands of women in those half boots with jeans that only come to the top of the boot and whoever convinced you to do that did you a disservice because that outfit is only good if you’re riding a horse across a river or clam digging in the mountains; as if there was ever a good reason for Capri jeans. On the plus side in four days I saw only one “Make America Great Again” cap.
The city fathers, in opposition to my cries, continue to build to make it bigger to attract more visitors as if that’s a good thing and apparently those who visit go home and tell their friends and then they come and this happens over and over with no stoppage in sight. So, you get a town full of people who are like ugly Americans who visit Paris for the first time and yell, “This is breakfast. Why are we having cheese for breakfast?”

IMC has in excess of 2,200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We’ve just returned from PPAI 2019 in Las Vegas and we hope you had a chance to stop by and visit us in Booth 3751 and saw new retail brands and IMC Collections. The 2019 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog is in and includes new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF or see it virtually on our website, Zoom and SAGE. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2019 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…did it stay in Vegas?

 

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Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Weather I’m right…

Donn James

Because I am being dragged across state lines on Monday for the PPAI convention(probably a clear violation of my parole conditions), I have been listening to more AM radio this week because they are better at the weather than FM or even TV. I understand AM radio is where careers go to die but they, at least, have windows and can look outside and say, “Hey, it’s raining. We’d better tell everyone.” On those devil FM stations they don’t allow windows and those deejays are more interested in telling you their favorite flavors to vape while playing music that makes your dog’s ears bleed, while on TV they’re more interested in telling us why it might or might not rain and they have confusing pictures that look like they were painted by Salvador Dali after he had a stroke or Rommel’s battle plans for the invasion of Africa. In reality, TV weather people are just there between auditions to be the next great game show host anyway and don’t care if they’re right or not. So I’m listening to the radio to keep apprised of the weather in Las Vegas and the fact that I’d like my flight to land wheels first. I learned that the weather is supposed to be cloudy and rainy while I’m in Las Vegas but it hardly matters because I’m not crazy enough to go outdoors in Vegas on any day that ends in Y and these days most of the casinos have roofs.
I started this because I’ve been listening to AM radio against my better judgment and I have discovered an unusual phenomenon residing there. Most of the stations do very timely weather and traffic reports but I learned the stations have a variety of unofficial traffic reporters; people who take time from their stop-and-go traffic jam to tell the radio station they’re in a stop-and-go traffic jam. I find it peculiar that these pseudo traffic cops take it upon themselves to police the roads and call in to a radio station with an update as if knowing there’s a baby crawling in the fast lane on the 110 freeway will impact my commute. Yesterday a guy called in to tell people it was foggy and I just don’t know how necessary that was. All it did was make me think…I can see fog so why is this dork telling me something I can see? Are there a lot of blind drivers who can’t see the fog? I’m a little color-blind with some colors but I don’t know anyone who’s fog-blind. And why is the guy driving through fog taking the time to get on the phone to tell us it’s foggy? That’s a good way to have one less traffic reporter. By the way, why do cars even have yellow fog lamps? They’re useless as all they do is prove you can’t see through yellow fog. What is equally odd about the people who call in is that they’ve given themselves names; apparently so the station will know they’re serious and have real information to report because it’s critical we know there’s a semi full of chickens overturned on the 14 near Tehachapi and we’d better avoid the area so KFC can get there and scrape up our dinner. Personally, I don’t think you have any more credibility just because you call yourself “405Phil” or “Downtown Abby.”
Assuming all goes well with my annual foray to Las Vegas, I will talk to everyone next week. If not, please begin a search although I expect you’ll find me buried under a pile of quarters in a corner of the Mandalay Bay.

IMC has in excess of 2,200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. PPAI 2019 in Las Vegas begins on the 14th and we invite you to visit us in Booth 3751 to see our new retail brands and IMC Collections. The 2019 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog is in and includes new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF or see it virtually on our website, Zoom and SAGE. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2019 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…how’s the traffic?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Do You Have Some Time?

Donn James

Someone reminded me this week that we were in a new year and they said, “Happy New Year” but I couldn’t tell from their voice whether it was a statement, question, plea or prayer. I hope everyone survived their celebrations but I don’t really do much because I’m of an age where I consider New Year’s Eve just amateur hour for drunks. For the young people it’s really not much of a factor as they pound Fireball and bacon-wrapped chunks of Spam but for adults who, need I remind you, don’t do shots, I would probably have some top-shelf liquor after a nice meal and all I would be thinking was, “How much money am I puking up right now?” Anyway, I needed the reminder it was a new year not because I had forgotten the new year but rather had forgotten that I remembered it. Another vagary of age I suppose with these little memory lapses. Yesterday I gave a family a Christmas ornament I bought in November and put somewhere safe so I wouldn’t forget it and promptly forgot where I put it. I found it the day after Christmas and to compound this error I put it in my car so I wouldn’t forget to give it to them and promptly forgot it was in my car for 8 days until I finally remembered it yesterday.
This time of year everybody is overly obsessed with time because you hear things like, “Boy, last year really went by fast” or “I can’t believe it’s a new year, time really flies” or my personal favorite “It will only hurt for a minute.” Well, here’s the deal…no, it doesn’t. A second is still a second, a day is still a day and a year is still a year and every year is 365.25 days of 24 hours, 1440 minutes and 31,557,600 seconds so unless you live in a cartoon, you’re stuck here with the rest of us. I grudgingly submit there are times when time feels like it flies and times when time feels like it stands still. Obviously it can’t do both…so it does neither. It’s just our general craziness that makes it feel that I can cook for 6 hours, eat in 10 seconds and feel like I’m washing dishes for 3 days. M&M’s melt in your mouth in a matter of seconds but if you’re listening to your Grandmother describe her childhood in the 30’s you feel like you’re watching a tree die. I suppose when you’re having sex it can seem like time is flying but then you’re in line at the DMV and you think about drinking our own urine to stay alive. I stayed on the treadmill for what felt like hours the other day so you can imagine my discouragement when I checked my clock and saw I had been jogging for only 35 seconds.
Even resolutions people make this time of year involve time but like most resolutions, they time out…usually by tomorrow when the treadmill becomes a coat rack. I can tell you those of you resolving to change your relationship status on Facebook from Desperate to Single may be setting the bar too high. On the other hand, if your idea of burning calories is to leave cookies in the oven while you nap…congratulations on having an attainable resolution.
I have a resolution… well, I’m calling it a resolution in case I have to go to court and need evidence.  For 2019, I resolve to be less tolerant of people since I’m usually right and I don’t know how much longer I can hold my tongue.

IMC has in excess of 2,200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. PPAI 2019 in Las Vegas begins on the 14th and we invite you to visit us in Booth 3751 to see our new retail brands and IMC Collections. The 2019 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog is in and includes new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF or see it virtually on our website, Zoom and SAGE. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2019 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…how much time do you have?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Donn James

As the holiday season winds down and we descend from the euphoric December highs and morph back into the bloodthirsty savages most civilized countries think we are, I think there is no better time to engage in America’s favorite pastime…finding someone to blame. The root of our problem is that we have turned everything into a battle and if it’s not a ‘good guys vs. bad guys” theme, it’s at least an “us vs. them” situation and when in doubt I always…blame the media. I’m always telling newscasters, usually by yelling at my TV so I’m not sure they hear me, to stop giving us opinions and just give us facts because we think you’re all idiots. We wouldn’t let you babysit our children, date our sons or daughters and we’d ask for a second opinion if you told us the sky was blue and lately, waiting for you to get to the point is like watching a snowman die. These days I can get more useful information watching an episode of Hoarders.
Truth be told I can’t even blame this generation because in the mid-70s TV gave us the Battle of the Network Stars which began this flushing spiral we call TV. TV would put together the most inept, uncoordinated group of stars from one network and pit them against a similar group of inept, uncoordinated stars from another network and call it a “battle” although that’s a pretty generous use of the word since there were no lives dependent on Farrah Fawcett’s inability to bowl or William Shatner not drowning as he tried to get from one end of the pool to the other. This idiocy with celebrities led to Splash, a diving competition among so-called celebrities which, because of all the injuries, did nothing but prove that celebrities couldn’t, in fact, hit water if they fell out of a boat.
The lack of success for this drivel did nothing to deter TV from its ultimate goal to dumb us into rocks which gave us the likes of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? and proved without a doubt that we are not. We have the Bachelor and Bachelorette which cast like 20 men or women trying to out lie each other to a man or woman who is lying to them. It’s like Truth or Dare without the truth.
There are some talent shows but those are also oddly skewed. I’m told Dancing with the Stars is very popular and it goes a step beyond learning that celebrities can’t dance. It has judges who I’ve never seen dance tell us how bad they were and then the masterstroke for TV is it lets America, who we know can’t dance, vote dancers off. Sure, that sounds fair. Vocal battles are big right now with America’s Got Talent, the Voice, X Factor etc. but you could have the best singing voice in the world and if you come up against an 11-year old girl in a wheelchair holding a puppet, you might as well buy your bus ticket back to Little Rock.
Cooking, probably because of its inherent boredom, has really tied itself to the competition bandwagon with shows like Cupcake Wars, Iron Chef, Celebrity Cook-Off, where we learn in addition to everything else, celebrities also can’t cook and Kids Baking Championship. The last one is particularly incongruous because you’ll have a kid trying to get his crème fraiche just right while he’s yelling for his Mommy to come tie his shoe. And unless someone comes up with a nuclear cupcake I’m not too worried about whose is best…as long as it has bacon in it. Iron Chef takes cooking to another level and if I ever had that many people in my kitchen, they are there to put out the fire. I’m watching the show from my couch with a bag of Cheetos and a Bud Lite so I don’t think sous vide is coming into play.
This said, in this season and during all seasons I refuse to believe everything has to be a battle with contestants vying for a bride, groom, crystal mushroom or golden buzzer and you’ll notice I haven’t mentioned Storage Wars because I don’t care that you paid $64 to buy an abandoned storage locker only to find it held the missing nude photos of Martha Washington.

IMC has in excess of 2,200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. IMC is preparing for PPAI 2019 in Las Vegas in January and we invite you to visit us in Booth 3751 to see our new retail brands and IMC Collections. The 2019 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog has gone to print and will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you ready for a battle?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Who Said Twas is a Word?

Donn James

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; In my case the dogs sound like they have enough gas to fuel a plane, the two cats are scratching their bed into perfection and the aquarium motor we have for one fish sounds like a news helicopter hovering over a car chase.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes the St. Nicholas soon would be there; except the aforementioned dogs had eaten the toes out of the socks and one of the cats was trying to climb a stocking to get to the mantel.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads; the visions of sugar plums were enhanced by all the Prosecco and beer at the Christmas eve party so the only thing they really need are empty buckets by the side of their beds.
And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter’s nap; Mama don’t wear no kerchief and I don’t wear a cap but we do call it a nap because someone once said, “you hear about people dying in their sleep but you never hear about anyone dying during a nap” so we have that going for us.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter, away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash; I rarely spring but I went to the window because I thought a coyote had gotten the neighbor’s cat and I really don’t like the cat but I didn’t want the coyote climbing my fence and having dinner in my yard.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below; It hasn’t snowed here in…forever so I’m guessing the guy wrote it before he moved to Burbank and the only luster we have is the sun glinting off the smog.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, with a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick; I thought for a moment I could be experiencing a flashback due to my time in the war or my time in the ‘60s and then I thought, “why couldn’t this be something simple like a…coyote?”
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name: Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blixen; Why does he need to call them? They’re already tied to the sled like the Budweiser Clydesdales and who names their reindeer Blixen? That’s how kids get bullied.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew with the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too; So now my tile roof has a herd of Nordic mammals, a sleigh and someone who looks suspiciously like a bearded Elton John clomping around up there and sounding like the latest remake of Riverdance and I’m just hoping they don’t step on any of the solar panels.
As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound; he was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; I don’t know what was expected here. It’s southern California and my chimneysweep is on vacation and you’re so chunky you scraped the walls all the way down so you have to expect a little soot.
A bundle of toys was flung on his back and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack; his eyes how they twinkled, his nose like a cherry, his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; He was in a pretty good mood considering I was holding a gun on him and had already called 9-1-1.
He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly; he was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf and I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself; I laughed because I was the one with the gun and I thought the writer was being kind when he said it was a round little belly and called him chubby and plump because to me he looked like Gov Christie after leaving an All-You-Can-Eat buffet.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; he spoke not a word but went straight to his work and filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk; I didn’t put the gun down but I did take my finger off the trigger as I watched everything he put into the stockings fall right to the ground because of the holes the dogs made, except for the bicycle but that got hung up on the handlebars.
Laying his finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose. He sprung to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; It took a mean feat of gravity just to get his fat butt down the chimney so I’m at a loss to explain what kind of duck waddle he did to get back up and the term sprung is probably generous but I was still puzzled by how he got the bicycle into a stocking.
But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight, Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night;
I heard little of this over the sirens announcing the late arrival of the police but I heard enough to yell, “It’s Merry Christmas…not Happy Christmas…we say MERRY CHRISTMAS!”


IMC has in excess of 2000 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2000+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2019 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog has gone to print and will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. IMC will be at PPAI Las Vegas in January and we invite you to visit us in Booth 3751 to see all our new products and take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2019 IMC catalog will soon be live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you done shopping?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Thanks for Nothing!

Donn James

We’re in that dead zone between Thanksgiving and Christmas and most of us have stopped giving thanks and are back to being asses, especially on the road and in the stores. I feel I need to remind everyone it is the time of the year to give thanks for all we have and the things for which we are thankful and I, for one, would be more thankful if the time lasted longer…like all year but I’ll take what I can get at this point and though most of you have done everything you could to irritate me for the past 348 days, I still have enough remaining kindness to share some of the things for which I am thankful.

  1. I’m quite thankful I can’t name all of the Kardashian sisters. If you can, please let me know so I can unfriend or unfollow you and basically wipe any memory of you from my mind because you are what’s wrong with the world. And if you’re thankful for the $1.00 section at Target, the same goes for you.
  2. I’m thankful I’ve only had to clean up pee about 4 times this week. Usually it’s simple because the little dog just gets excited but I have closet doors that look like bathroom doors and it’s dark at night.
  3. If you’re thankful for cat videos, please see point #1 above.
  4. I’m thankful when I can go to a yoga class and every move doesn’t make me feel like I’m being boxed for shipping to Prague.
  5. I’m thankful that George Clooney isn’t getting any better-looking because I’m having a hard time keeping up.
  6. I’m thankful we gave our children normal names. If you named your kid Abcde and didn’t expect people to make fun of it I’d like to know when you expect to land back on Earth. And if you name your kid Kale, which I’ve heard is nothing but spinach with hair, and then complain about bullying, please know we are bullying you and not your child. You may as well have named the kid Eggplant.
  7. I’m thankful for online shopping, free shipping and Amazon Prime. If I’m not on Amazon the first thing I look for is “how much do I have to spend to get free shipping and it’s almost always worth it. Everything is online and even when the product doesn’t quite match the picture; it’s still better than talking to customer service and if I have to return something, I only have to walk to my mailbox.
  8. I’m thankful we don’t go around the table saying what we’re thankful for because that’s a can of worms you don’t need to open.
  9. I’m thankful that once in a while I wake up before my alarm goes off. It doesn’t mean I’m any more productive but it’s nice to feel like technology doesn’t run my life.
  10. I’m thankful that women feel good about taking off their bra after a long day because I feel the same way about my pants.
  11. I’m thankful for things that get cancelled that I didn’t want to go to anyway. I don’t have to go and as a bonus I have the excuse/lie I was going to use and I get to save it for the next thing.
  12. I’m thankful for man-buns because now we can recognize those dorks before they even speak.
  13. And Surgeon General be damned…I’m thankful for bacon.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog has gone to print and will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you giving thanks?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Help, I’ve Been Kiosked.

Donn James

While everyone was probably regaining consciousness from their turkey meltdown on Thursday, I found myself in the mall on Saturday and though it wasn’t Black Friday anymore, I don’t think anyone had left. Every geek in the Conejo was in the Apple store and those who couldn’t get in were leaking out of the Gap, so that even trying to navigate the aisles from store to store was daunting. And over the years our mall has added insult to injury as they have two Macy’s, which is where I end up having gift cards, but they are at opposite ends of the mall with men’s goods in one and women’s wear in the other so you have to traverse the entire mall to cover both genders. I don’t mind the walk as it normally counts as exercise but now I feel as though I’m stuck in freeway traffic as I do my best pack mule crawl from Macy’s to Macy’s.
My issue with the stroll is you have to pass all these stupid kiosks which rightly belong in strip malls between the 7-11, the nail place and the Laundromat. It’s easier to make your way through an outdoor market in the bowels of Riyadh than the center court of a mall these days. I’m really not in the market for an iPhone case with my favorite football team on it. In fact, if someone gave one to me I’d start dropping my iPhone just to get rid of it and I don’t see me using the skull & crossbones motif this heavily-medicated high school kid is trying to sell me. That’s another thing about these kiosks…they’re all manned by high school kids who look like they’d rather be anywhere else and these jobs certainly shouldn’t be counted if we’re trying to reduce the unemployment rate because these kids are the most desperate and most of them have been in shock since they answered the ad. The whole idea of being somewhere at a given time and not being able to use their phone is foreign to them as you watch them do some sort of a prison walk to get to their kiosk.
I finally broke free from the phone case zone as apparently they have some kind of a force field you must power through and I was accosted by a bevy of high school-aged girls with Russian accents who told me they could make my eyes look 40 years younger. Full disclosure, they may not have been high school girls and instead been part of the latest Russian bride invasion and they hadn’t yet bagged a lonely insurance agent or accountant. They seemed confused by my response as I told them my eyes were original equipment and I needed them to age with the rest of me or I wouldn’t recognize them. Anyway, why would I want my eyes to look like a time I can’t any longer remember?
But it’s hard not to get trapped at some point. I’d almost successfully navigated the labyrinth of kiosks, dodging the wood carvings of the Virgin Mary, pseudo-silk scarves and Ray-Ban knockoffs when I fell prey to a gang of high school cheerleaders trying to raise money for a competition in Branson by personalizing Christmas tree ornaments with a fine-tip black magic marker. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in and I ended up with a ceramic ornament awaiting personalization. The ornament which portrayed a supposedly happy couple, one child and one dog was then passed on to the magic marker squad and being high school students they couldn’t grasp the concept that the dog’s name was Dave and they didn’t know how to spell the dad’s name so I had to spell it out for them…B-O-B.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. The 2019 catalog has gone to print and will include new retail product and brands as well as additions to our IMC Collections. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2019 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. The IMC 2018.5 flyer is posted on our website and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog remains live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you done shopping?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Travel | Leave a comment