This Party is Out of Hip.

Donn James

We had a going away/surprise/any excuse for a party function at the offices yesterday that I missed. It wasn’t a surprise that I missed it as apparently I’m too much of a party animal so they’ve taken to holding these on Thursday afternoons when they know I’ll be gone and oddly, I can’t even argue with their logic. I would certainly question the integrity of any party to which I’m invited.
And just to prove that no occasion to party is beneath us, the soiree was for a young man limping off to have a hip replaced. Until now I thought the party we had for him a couple of years ago when he left to have a knee replaced was the real low point. I don’t know how many of these I can miss but if he keeps coming apart like a five dollar watch, we’re going to need more paper plates. When did we become a society so out of things to do that we’ve begun to celebrate hospital stays? It’s bad enough we celebrate Talk like a Pirate day; do I now have to bake a cake every time someone breaks a nail? I’m having a colonoscopy next week but I don’t expect to see any balloons or glitter although when I wake up…somebody better have a cookie or be ready to live with the consequences.
Make no mistake…he needs this surgery and thankfully his body is still under warranty so he has to get it done now before he exceeds the mile limit. I can hear him walking up the stairs now and he sounds just like the burro I rode in the Grand Canyon. Seriously, right now he couldn’t sneak up on Helen Keller. After this surgery he can’t take stairs for a while and he’ll have to take his medical records every time he flies because when he limps through an airport scanner, it will go off like a Geiger counter in Chernobyl. On the plus side, he’s looking forward to the full-body pat down.
I’m told the event itself was a spectacle of hot dogs, popcorn and sugar…the trifecta of cholesterol hell. Many in the crowd thought he teared up when surprised by everyone. In reality, he teared up because in an embarrassing lack of sensitivity, he was now upstairs and they decided to have the function downstairs so while the thought of having to negotiate 21 stairs for a hot dog would have brought tears to the eyes of many a hardy soul, even more so for a guy who already walks like Yoda. I’ve included a shot of the dessert table just to demonstrate the economical attitude of my co-workers who plied him with sugar thinking, “You’re going to be in the hospital anyway. They can treat you for diabetes at the same time.”
Everyone did band together and get him a walker which will be of no value on the stairs except to give him something else to carry and I donated the tennis balls for it…just in case our insurance doesn’t cover them. They also got him the game Operation but since he’s having it done at the VA, I think he’s going to use it to test the doctors before they do the real thing because I know the guy who was the real life model for the game and the doctors usually scraped the edges when they were pulling parts out of him. In fact, the last time they successfully removed his elbow, his spleen gave them a standing ovation.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s your recovery time?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Alien Visitors Beware

Donn James

Our daughter’s boyfriend is coming for a visit next week so I’ve been given a list of cleaning chores long enough to put Cinderella in a coma. The house is never too bad but now that we have “company” coming, I will be expected to use my toothbrush to clean the grout between the tiles on the kitchen floor for someone who grew up in Texas, probably on a dirt floor. I will also have to polish the wood floors to an extent that when one of the dogs runs in, they will slip and slide until they face-plant into a wall…and then I’ll have to clean the wall.
In truth, most of the things I will do are things we do every weekend just to stay on top of stuff but now instead of having the bathroom bowls just clean, I’ll have to have them clean enough to cook soup in. The hardest part of cleaning is just picking up all the cat and dog toys that litter every room in the house. This is the area in which they most resemble children in that they get everything out, play with it for three minutes and absolutely refuse to put anything away. Every week I put the big dog in charge of the other dogs and cats and I tell him I want everything back in the toy boxes by the time I get back from Costco and though it may surprise you, when I get home…nothing has been done. It’s like having five teenagers because the three dogs are pretending they didn’t hear me and the two cats are just holding me in disregard and gazing on me with contempt. So it’s clear I will not be getting a lot of cooperation from them but they did get together and agree not to shed for a week, so I won’t have to vacuum as often but after he leaves I’m sure the house will again look like a sheep-shearing station in Australia. By the way, the dogs are all afraid of the vacuum. Laurie believes it’s because of the noise but I’m convinced they run because they think I’m going to make them do it since every time I vacuum I pull up enough hair to knit a blanket for Wyoming.
Now, I want to make a good impression as this will be our first meeting so I expect I’ll be advised to wear something above and beyond t-shirts and boxers as, I’m told, it’s important to make a good first impression. That said, I’ve been the subject and object of more first impressions than most people and have usually found them to be almost universally wrong. I’ve actually had people tell me they didn’t like me when we first met and I just dismiss them as idiots because I can’t relate to that at all. There’s an old saying that “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression” and that’s just blatantly false. Most of you don’t have that many friends so I’ve had lots of chances. I’m kind of like the wine that nobody wants to admit is just awful so they fall back on the banal cliché of, “it’s an acquired taste.” What that really means is that it’s crap but if you drink enough of it, you’ll forget how crappy it is. So now I think I’m going to start introducing myself by saying, “Hi, I’m Donn. I’m an acquired taste” so I won’t be setting the bar too high.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you receiving guests?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Pass the Buck, Please

Donn James

As I came into being near the end of a generation I hereby declare myself absolved of all blame and I cast the finger of guilt to the current generation as it now winds down. You, those of you with moderately adult children, young adults or school-aged, are the root of the problem. You gave us play dates, participation trophies and wet wipes. Once again I remind you that my generation was sometimes better, sometimes worse, but always different. We would have been my generation’s version of latch-key kids except most of our parents didn’t trust us with keys. We never had play dates; we were just told to go outside and not come back until dinner and most of us couldn’t go back because the doors were locked.
And when did you get permission to call them sleepovers? Back in the day you just spent the night with someone. We didn’t need to invent some psycho-babble because you had a dirty mind and needed to define it wholesomely. You are the same people I see spit-shining your shopping cart with a wet wipe before you slip into Safeway as if you were Christiaan Barnhard preparing for a heart transplant. This obsession with germs has made this generation more susceptible to disease than Andy Dufresne escaping from Shawshank Prison. I’m older than most of you so I can remember being 17th in line to drink out of a hose. Yes, water didn’t use to come out of a bottle in those days but nobody worried about “backwash” or catching anything. In fact, our parents made us play with sick kids just to catch diseases and get them out of the way. I can remember being told to go kiss Mary because she has the chickenpox and you don’t have school next week. Without being too graphic I would like to mention that Arkansas has been executing people lately at about the same rate that people are being kicked off Delta flights and one of the news stations had a shot of a nurse swabbing the injection site with alcohol before they administered the fatal dose…and that is only slightly more stupid than you wiping down your shopping cart. The prisoner is about to catch, well…death and that’s probably a little more serious than your runny nose.
By the way, thanks again for the participation trophy which, by itself, has made more kids not try than your meager threats to take away their phone. You have turned far more kids into underachievers than a C- ever has. Who decided that every kid should get a trophy just because the parents were able to scrape up the registration fee and bring orange slices one week during the season? The fact is, I really don’t care about winning and I believe over-zealous coaches should be sent to Arkansas but the truth is that sports, debate, dance, chess are contests and to not have a winner is insulting to you. And since every kid knows within 20 minutes of the first practice of the season who the best 2 or 3 kids on the team are; treating them as if they are all equal on the field, court, classroom or course is insulting to them. And while I advocate teaching kids every position, during the game kids should play where they are comfortable given the needs of the team as opposed to the individual…that’s what team means. If you have a goalie that likes to play goalie and is good at it, why should he or she have to come out for half the game so you can play a kid who is afraid of the ball, doesn’t like to play goalie, and whose greatest accomplishment this season has been finding a worm?

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…do you have a cold?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Don’t Be So Sensitive

Donn James

Since I can’t seem to keep a cohesive thought in my head long enough to fill this column today, I’m going to mention a few random things in the hope that they will congeal sufficiently to keep my fingers working this keyboard.
Someone in the office who has been abusing a little-known government loophole called “maternity leave” came by yesterday with her 4-month old child, who is clearly old enough to be in pre-school or, in some countries, have a job. Thankfully, I was already gone so I was spared baby puke on my shoulder but I’m told the rest of her co-workers oohed and aahed at appropriate times and told her how cute the baby was and they have irritatingly gone out of their way to show me pictures of this “precious bundle of joy.” I’m sure they also told her the baby looks like her or her husband but when I look at a picture of a hairless baby all I think is that the father must have been Mr. Potato Head.
I believe I can talk about politics if I equally congratulate or condemn both sides of the fence but since congratulations hardly seem in order, I choose to condemn. The elephants have just proposed a health plan they believe is good enough for us but not for them so they have exempted themselves from that part of the plan, which most of us with IQs above a cucumber do not see as even vaguely inspirational. On the other hoof, the donkeys continue to proffer plans that generally involve taking the money I work to earn and give it to people unwilling or unable to work in an effort to get more votes. Both sides have overlooked a vast, uncharted territory in America…it’s called the MIDDLE and many of our politicians would be well-served if they would occasionally visit it.
Why does Charmin toilet paper have such an extensive website? Isn’t everyone buying it at Costco like I do? And why do they have so many different types? Are we all that different we need to have a favorite as if it was one of five syrups at iHop? They also need to work on learning some more adjectives because they have ‘soft’ and ‘strong’ and now they’ve come out with ‘ultra soft’ and ultra strong,’ I guess to cater to butterflies and lumberjacks. Coming up with the word ‘ultra’ must have taxed their marketing department to the limit. They also now have a ‘sensitive’ and while I’m familiar with sensitive toothpastes and Kleenex, I suspect they thought they’d cash in on the latest craze by moving it a little south of there. They actually have a quiz for you to take to determine which product you should overpay for so, in the interest of science I took the quiz but I couldn’t get past the first question without throwing up a little in my mouth. Question 1: What are you searching for in life? Interesting question and in your mind you might automatically think of happiness, world peace etc. but your only choices are Toilet Paper or Flushable Wipes so the Deepak Chopra tape playing in your head immediately comes to a stop. Again, in the interest of science I clicked Toilet Paper and the next question is, “What does you toilet paper say about you?” Now, when I go out I can usually only hope it’s not stuck to my shoe as I wander through a restaurant and while I long for my toilet paper to say I’m a natty dresser, love my wife, kids and animals, all I really hear it saying is, “Goodbye dinner.”

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…how sensitive are you?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Did You Invent That?

Donn James

I was on the internet yesterday and while I was decrying it as the National Enquirer of hyperspace, a very interesting article came into view. See, I’m well past the time when I’m concerned about bombings, riots, school choice and gas prices so I find myself gravitating toward the news breaking, hard-hitting stories like “21 Inventions that Betty White is Older Than” so I’m up-to-date on current events. Really, when you have columns to fill, would you rather have another story on Canadian genocide or learn that Betty White is older than the wheel? Like the internet, I may be exaggerating or embellishing a little because I don’t think she’s that old but I’m pretty sure they were still using lightning to start a campfire to grill the saber-toothed tiger the tribe just killed. In actuality, she is older than scotch tape…and sliced bread.
While I have adopted an attitude of laissez-faire when it comes to aging, the article persuaded me to do some research to discover some inventions younger than I. Logically it is easy to realize that you are older than anything invented since your birth but it is interesting (and painful) to know you are older than many things we all now take for granted and after learning this, the only thing you’re thankful for is that somebody finally invented Prozac. Now, I’m sure that I’ll have a very fine eulogy someday but I don’t want it to include the fact that I am older than…Velcro. Last week I talked about having to get up and change the channel so you all know I’m older than the remote control…man’s greatest invention. In the natural progression for a world seeking to never leave the couch is that now there is a remote for everything. I can close my blinds, start my coffee, flush my toilet and since I’m older than canned beer, I plan on staying around until there’s a remote to open that. It’s actually kind of surreal to listen to today’s youth talk about the latest video game on their phone; in hi-def where the screen figuratively leaks with the blood of vanquished foes while I, at their age, was trying to find the last cat in the hidden pictures puzzle in the back of Highlights magazine.
Oddly, I was also using the internet to find out that I was older than the internet. I am also older than a few inventions that have come and been mercifully killed since my birth…thankfully the bean bag chair…unless you live in a basement in Arkansas. There are times I only believe I’m here is because I’m older than the birth control pill and I’m also older than the microwave oven although I’ve been using one so long that periodically I have to check to make sure I’m not growing a tail. I do consider myself lucky as I survived for about 40 years until smoke detectors were invented but almost immediately everybody disconnected them so they could smoke in peace.
Curiously, I am also older than the institution many think is most responsible for shortening our lives…McDonald’s. They stopped counting in ’94 when they went over 100 Billion so in about 40 years they sold that many hamburgers to more than willing customers in now almost every country except India. Quite a feat until you realize that is about the equivalent of 7 cows and 99 billion other things no one else in the world considers food. When I started going there the sign said, “12” but the fries were better than anything your Mom ever made.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…when was that invented?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Let’s Confuse Everyone!

Donn James

I’m old, certainly older than most of you who stop doing nothing to read this weekly, but I’m not a senior citizen regardless of what the media and AARP tell me. I’m usually OK with political correctness and believe, on balance, it has improved our lives, made others more tolerable and helped generally clean up our act but I draw the line at the euphemistic language we have developed to describe people, events and acts of life. See, I’m not allowed to be old any more. According to the media, who goes out of their way to not offend anyone and by doing so ends up offending everyone, I have to be aging or a senior citizen, sexagenarian or a cagey veteran who brings a ‘wealth of experience’ to the party. Not only will the media not let me get old but now I can’t even die; I have to be fading, declining, perishing or vanishing until I pass over, expire, demise, decease or depart.
Over the last forty years or so, while I was not paying attention, as is often the case, someone decided to stop calling things by their real name as if we couldn’t handle the truth. I know it’s sometimes done to “soften the blow” or to make someone feel better about themselves but I really think it’s more for the speaker to feel better about themselves while saying something horrid about someone else. Just because you’ve reviewed your operational needs and have decided to downsize because of a work balance correction doesn’t mean somebody’s not getting fired and when that happens you’re not ‘between jobs’–you’re unemployed. And if you have a friend in the hospital and they experience a ‘negative patient outcome’—don’t expect a Christmas card from them this year.
My local health care professional, who just used to be my doctor, just had her house cleaned by a domestic engineer who gave all the trash to a sanitation technician who drove away in a waste disposal vehicle. All we’ve done this generation is gloss over the real word and used more words to confuse people. Perhaps it was just a simpler time when I was younger although I’ll remind you it wasn’t better, it was just different. TV only had three channels and I was the remote control for my parents so, when commanded, I had to walk across the room and use the pliers to change the channel and fiddle with the aluminum foil on the rabbit ears until the picture was clear. Now I have five hundred HD channels and still can’t find anything worth watching.
You might think it was a simpler time and maybe it was because we hadn’t yet made up words that masked the truth to the extent we have today. The suit I was wearing didn’t just ‘fall off a truck’—it was stolen and we weren’t experiencing a ‘negative cash flow’—we were broke. And we didn’t know a lot of the things we experienced are now called diseases. We didn’t have attention deficit disorder when I was young…we were just jerks, and we weren’t mentally challenged, we were just stupid and our dads didn’t have acid reflux…they had gas and you were safer in another room. Grandpa didn’t have Alzheimer’s fifty years ago, he was just losing it. Nothing was ‘pre-owned’—it was USED and your uncle wasn’t ‘motivationally deficient’—he was just lazy.
And now if you’ll excuse me, even though I’m considered ‘mature’ and becoming a ‘little thin on top,’ I’m not ready to take a ‘dirt nap’ so I’m off to find an ‘adult beverage’ as soon as I ‘powder my nose.’

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…are you challenged?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Do You Smell Smoke?

Donn James

We had a fire drill this week and it was a planned event and I’ve found that tends to take much of the suspense out of it. With all the advance warning you would have thought I’d have made plans to call in sick but my memory is just not what it needs to be. Because we make products for so many large, multinational conglomerates we have, over the course of the last 30-some years, had many fire drills to comply with our own and their HR. requirements. It’s actually surprising how many of these companies have ticklish rules in place regarding child labor, safe workplaces, sexual harassment and the fair treatment of employees. Here in California we’ve always been ahead of the curve, so you’re not going to find a 5-year old sewing together soccer balls in Malibu or a Montessori classroom in Brentwood lacing up tennis shoes. You may be just learning it but California is very different from the real world in that people file a Workplace Harassment claim if the cappuccino machine malfunctions or if the company-provided daycare center runs out of chocolate milk. Our state is very liberal in these cases even though I’m pretty sure the kid who just put new tires on my car was about 12 but I was assured he had a work permit.
These fire drills are generally well-organized and normally result in nothing more than a broken limb or two as people trip, orderly falling down the stairs. And getting people whose ages range from the early 20s all the way to ‘one foot in the grave’ out of a building is a daunting challenge. The offices and warehouse exits were unusually successful so our “Days Without a Major Tragedy” sign remains at 0 and we were able to cancel our standing order for an ambulance. So now we’re all standing outside in the smoking section which is mildly ironic in that it’s completely legal to stand outside smoking while you watch your office…and your cigarette burn. In fact, for those still addicted to this vile, disgusting habit, they probably just see the fire drill as an unexpected smoke break.
While we’re waiting for our smiling version of Fire Marshall Bill to take roll so we can return to work, certain caring people are silently taking roll just in case we left one of our customer service people chained to her desk in our hurry to vacate the premises. They’re easily replaced but there’s a lot of paperwork involved so it’s best for all concerned if we don’t leave one inside to roast. Not being a caring person my only thought is that I hope the fire doesn’t get to the drawer where I keep my microwave popcorn.
The real problem with an outdoor gathering in California is that you tend to attract characters you thought only lived in bad novels. This day our herd of sheeple attracted the guy we call the preacher. He lives in the park down the street in a two-bedroom refrigerator box, is generally regarded as harmless but his constant yelling is slightly off-putting. All his belongings are carefully stored in a shopping cart he stole from Target and he pushes it around with the annoying ostentation of a Mercedes owner. He wears a hoodie lined with aluminum foil and is usually ranting about the rapture or the government being able to read what’s left of his mind. I don’t understand him because well, I don’t speak…crazy but I thought I heard him say, “The world is going to hell” but a co-worker, who is also crazy, claims he told us the 11 secret herbs and spices in Kentucky Fried Chicken.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…which way is the door?

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