You Look Familiar

Donn James

Donn James

Do you remember? Well, probably not. As I age I hear that question far more often than I like because apparently, I’m supposed to have memories. See, not only can I not remember my memories I even forgot I’m supposed to have them. What was I talking about? My wife Laurie can remember every wedding gift from 1980 and who gave it to us while I sit here at 10:30 in the morning and I can’t remember breakfast. To be fair she still can’t remember how to work the TV remote or set the alarm clock. On the other hand, she might be making me do those just so I feel useful.
I am vexed by the reasoning of remembering in that I can remember things I did in 1954 but I now occasionally forget the code to open my garage door but I think that is more a fault of the remotes in our lives. We push a button for almost everything these days and if it wasn’t programmed into my cell I couldn’t even call home. I seem to remember mentioning once before…but maybe I forgot…that I can now go into my garage and forget why I’m there. Now that it happens with an alarming rate of frequency, I find it liberating and enlightening because while I’m looking around trying to remember why I’m there, I find all sorts of things I forgot were in there. The garage is kind of like my Mexico. I hardly ever go there but when I do, I see all sorts of cool things I forgot were there.
I, like most men, have been accused either rightly or wrongly of having a selective memory in that I remember things I want to remember. I can tell you from experience there are millions of things I would like to remember that I can’t. Any more I’m lucky I remember to use the bathroom. Men as a gender may have selective memories but I think people often confuse remembering with listening or even being able to hear whatever we’re being told, asked, commanded. I believe the reason I find it increasingly difficult to remember things that are less important to my brain is that I would hate to forget the theme song to Cheers just so I could remember to pick up milk on the way home. I have had the same neighbor across the street for probably 20 years and he’s French and they only have about 7 different names for men and it took me all morning the other day to remember his name is Antoine.
It really isn’t just me and I would like to go on record as a whistleblower to report that all men have bad memories and I’ll cite some examples. Because we never thought women would be allowed to drive, our poor memories are the reason your blinkers automatically turn off after you make a turn. The latest version of something invented because our memories are so bad is the “type-ahead” function in your texting module. Most of you think it’s so you can finish a message faster but it was invented because our memories are so bad, we forget what word we’re typing as we type it. I can type tom and my phone knows I want tomorrow and I’ve already forgotten that’s what I wanted. Many of you also think man invented instant replay so we could watch a great play AGAIN, but I can stand before you and candidly admit we did it because we already forgot what happened (and need to see if again for the first time).

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has in excess of 2000 promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…do you remember when?

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Don’t Take This Personally

Donn James

Donn James

Sometimes, things just happen. That doesn’t mean there is a plot against you. The fact that you can’t get an appointment at the DMV until February doesn’t mean the government hates you. It’s the DMV…they hate everybody and everything, including their jobs. Stop taking it personally. It’s not a conspiracy and that’s the problem I see too often with regard to conspiracy theories. You take it personally and because you think everybody likes you, it must be a plot against you by people who don’t know you. The sad truth is that nobody likes you because you’re a conspiracy theorist. Sometimes, things just happen. If you have to take a number in the deli to get your pastrami sandwich and your number is 92 and they just called number 7; that’s not a conspiracy. That just means there were 85 people smart enough to get there before you. Hardly anything, and certainly not you, is important enough to conspire against. Stop pretending some cache of people got together and planted that nail in lane 3 of the freeway just so you would get a flat tire and miss your hot yoga class.
Conspiracy theories were invented by smart people to keep the dumb people busy and out of the way so we could get things done which is handy because we can’t sit them all down in front of a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon. Conspiracy theories have been around forever. There are people who believe dinosaurs were killed by pesticides and that Hannibal’s elephants conspired against him because they didn’t want to walk through the mountains. Hell, there are conspiracy theorists who are convinced Adam and the snake worked together to get Eve to eat the apple. And if you believe the Holocaust is a conspiracy theory put forth by Jews to advance their interests, you can probably tell us what Kim is doing right now.
So as long as we have dumb people we will have conspiracy theories and, as I look around, it doesn’t look like we’re developing a shortage. That’s why politics is a good place to find conspiracy theories; it is filled with dumb people. The latest of the theories concerns the health of the candidates. One of them may have pneumonia, heat exhaustion or something contagious and the other one is…orange, which might mean he is an alien…or a cheeto. I don’t understand how everyone can seem to forget that we have had presidents die in office, have strokes, heart attacks, blindness and Alzheimer’s disease. We had at least one president who was a victim of domestic violence and you know what? The lights still worked, the trains still ran and the country moved forward. Geez, Washington, at different times as president, had smallpox, tuberculosis, malaria, and dysentery and nobody said, “Well hell, let’s just give the job to Benedict Arnold.” Roosevelt, a democrat one side loved while the other side was OK with, had congestive heart disease, polio and anemia but if he was still alive, we’d still be voting for him. Reagan, a republican one side loved while the other side was OK with, couldn’t hear, needed contacts to see, and had colon cancer before showing signs of the Alzheimer’s that would end his life but if he were still alive, we’d still be voting for him.
So let’s try and keep it all in perspective. Whether you’re orange or have pneumonia shouldn’t stop you from being elected because we’re more worried about what happens after you’re elected.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has in excess of 2000 promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…how’s your health?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Are You the Baby in the Family?

Donn James

Donn James

For someone who most people would consider well-educated and quite possibly over-educated, I sometimes find stupid things coming out of my mouth at an alarming rate and this often belies my supposed education. Mostly it’s generally mundane crap and harmless in nature; I mean I’m not checking my email to see if it’s classified and I don’t wake up deciding to nuke the Middle East like our candidates do. It’s more like I was working hard yesterday morning on my computer for what seemed like hours and I said, “Whew, I’m ready for lunch” and then I looked at the clock and saw that it was 8:45. That’s my kind of stupid and everyone is different. You may wander around your house looking for your glasses…with your glasses on, or talk to your pets like they can understand you. I often speak to my animals in complete sentences as if they know more words than “outside” and “lunch.” As if that’s not bad enough, I’ve gone overboard in the other direction when I spell out words like f-o-o-d or i-c-e c-r-e-a-m because I’m afraid I’ll start a four-legged riot.
The burden I carry that has eluded many of you is that I’m kind of stuck in this purgatory of stupid in that I’m not quite smart enough to stop from doing or saying something stupid occasionally but I’m smart enough to recognize it as soon as it has passed my lips, while many of you just go blissfully along with your day, I know when I’ve said something I’ll likely regret and that is infuriating. In kind of an out of body experience I’ll ask myself, “Did you just tell them winning is more fun than losing? That has to be the most moronic thing you’ve said today. Are you trying to set a world record for stupid?” See, that’s the kind of inner turmoil many of you avoid because you don’t realize you’ve said something stupid and I applaud you.
Speaking of applause, this headline appeared in a newspaper…One-armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers which proves stupid has not skipped this generation of journalists. If you needed more proof of that this was a headline from the Associated Press…Missippi’s literacy program shows improvement. I’m just glad it wasn’t a hard to spell state like Jorja. The visual media has also had stupidity rear its head and while we know most of the announcers are idiots, I expect more from the people behind the camera so when Fox news in Houston put up a shot of the sun with the graphic, Fire On The Sun I was alarmed that they apparently didn’t know it’s a ball of fire all the time. Did they think it only lit up during the day? Not exactly burning news. We had another gem from channel 4 in New York when they put up a graphic that stated, Youngest Child Considered Baby of Family as if everyone in the world was doing it a different way. My last example of TV stupid comes courtesy of channel 3 in Charlotte who amazed us with this graphic, Man Killed to Death as if people could be killed to critical condition. Regretfully, the media has made themselves an easy target for stupid while we, as a nation, deserve better so stop telling us Rain Creates Wet Roads every year (we know that) and don’t put Matt Lauer on TV to ask an hour’s worth of the most stupid, bland and vacuous questions to the two people wanting to run the country.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has an excess of 2000 promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…who’s buried in Grant’s tomb?

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Well, It Seems a Little Excessive

Donn James

Donn James

We live in a land of excess and I think it’s beginning to affect us negatively. It’s one thing to want a gold bidet because your neighbor just put a Ferris wheel in his back yard but it’s totally another to steal my grill just because my cooking is making you hungry. The current trend seems to be to overreact in many cases even though some of these excesses are small. We all know someone who has turned embellishing their tales into an art form. Sometimes it’s for the sake of decoration or addition but it always includes usually a gross exaggeration or seven. Even those could be toned down and little because we really don’t believe you escaped from the mall by stealing a zebra anyway. We’ve all done it occasionally in order to sell ourselves, our story or tale, or just to sell a used car.  My point is that it is an excusable excess even though it is either not true or not germane to the story, while at the same time being completely unnecessary. And while I bridle at the use of hyperbole to describe mundane everyday actions (your basket of onion rings is not AMAZING), too often lately are we finding occasion to irrationally react in a way that seems excessive to others and I would like to mention three things that happened this week that simply proved we are but pikers in the art of excess and overkill.
That little penguin in charge of North Korea just had someone executed for nodding off in a meeting. Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad idea but if it happened in America I’d have been gone about 20 minutes ago. Okay, maybe if you’re the Defense Chief of a country everyone dislikes, then you shouldn’t fall asleep in a meeting but does the punishment fit the crime? I can see taking a finger or maybe a whole hand if he was snoring but to kill him might be a little over the top. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they killed him with an anti-aircraft gun…hence the term overkill. That’s like setting off an atom bomb to get rid of termites or dropping your birthday cake in the Pacific Ocean because you’re too lazy to blow out the candles. The second example happened in that heavenly, God-fearing, wholesome town of Las Vegas when a man was shot and killed for not holding a door open for a woman. Well, it happened at a McDonalds’s so I guess the nutritionists are right when they say, “Fast food is not good for you.” A man didn’t hold a door for a woman and she got miffed and whined to her boyfriend about it (another case of women getting us guys in trouble). The boyfriend pulled out a gun and shot him; probably just to get the woman to stop talking about it. You know how guys will do some things just to avoid an argument. If the man was spending a lot of time at McDonald’s, he was probably on the short list for a heart attack anyway but I still think the lovely couple overreacted. They could have just made him go to Del Taco. Lastly, the lady who set herself on fire in the congressman’s office in Illinois bears a mention. Clearly there were some mental health issues at play here because she tried to douse herself with hand sanitizer and then lit a match. Firstly, what’s the alcohol content of hand sanitizer? There’s more alcohol in Nyquil or Listerine so she certainly didn’t think things through. Secondly, how many little bottles of hand sanitizer would it take to even get you damp? And some of those little bottles you have to squeeze like a sponge just to get a drop out. I could understand if you were lugging around the Costco-sized bottle of Listerine because it’s big enough to swallow a small child but hand sanitizer that evaporates as soon as it feels air seems more like a cry for help. The best part of the story is that the staff put her out with a fire extinguisher when I think they could have just blown on her.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has in excess of 2000 promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…are you being excessive?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Is This the End of the Line?

Donn James

Donn James

I’m trying to be patient because if I lose my patience you’re all going to be patients. Patience is becoming a lost art and many of you don’t realize it is also a social skill and the rest of us don’t have the patience to deal with your impatience. We all have to wait in lines periodically but I think it’s important to keep things in context. If you’re at the ER because you sprained your wrist working the remote control on your TV, the carpenter who comes in carrying his thumb in a plastic bag goes first. You don’t get to say, “Hey, end of the line Buddy.” If you have to get your daughter to her rock climbing class and then your son to his violin lesson and still get back in time for your hot yoga session, you should have started a little earlier because that sign on the freeway onramp still says YIELD. I’m standing in the line at Taco Bell at lunchtime in the vicinity of a high school so pardon me if I think my pain is greater than yours. Too many of you foolishly feel your time is more important than mine and you need to be punished by having to stand in line at the DMV without an appointment.
I realize this is the age of immediacy and people get mad if their favorite episode of Happy Days takes 10 seconds to download to their iPad but this is where I think context is important because if you tried to explain this problem to your grandfather, he’d hit you upside the head with a sack of marbles and start telling you about how he had to milk a goat before going to school every morning in the snow. You’re sending a message to outer space and in 10 seconds you get 30 minutes of the Fonz. That is why I get impatient with people who complain about air travel. Jeez, you get in a seat in New York and lean back to take a nap while something you can’t lift goes 6 miles into the air and you wake up in Los Angeles so stop complaining that you couldn’t have peanuts because some kid in row 28 forgot his Epi-pen. About a century ago it took a year for people in wagon trains to cross the country. You could get pregnant in Philadelphia and give birth in Utah…if you didn’t get scalped in Nebraska. And nobody was walking down the line of wagons giving away little bags of peanuts and cans of 7-Up.
Some theorists and mathematicians think we spend 1-2 years of our lives waiting in lines when they factor in important lines like the bathroom line at Dodger Stadium or the drive-thru at McDonald’s. Certainly, some lines are less irritating than others because we’ll wait an hour to be terrorized for 2 minutes on an amusement park ride but you become apoplectic if somebody gets ahead of you at an ATM. Context again people! A machine knows you and will give you some of the money it’s been holding for you and you don’t have to talk to anyone. Imagine R2D2 walking around giving out M&Ms.
Even I, though laid back and chill, can find some lines more annoying than others. I hate grocery store lines when I have my stash of Klondike Bars and I get stuck behind Mother Hubbard who has picked this day to fill her cupboard. So, in the interest of frozen ice cream I head for the self-checkout and find a line there. I’ve come to the store, picked my food and now I’m waiting in line to give you my money so I can put it in a bag and take it home to refreeze it.
And when I get to the end of the line, if there’s a line to get into heaven, I’m going to look at the other line…I’ll probably know more people there anyway.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has lined up some promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…are you in line?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Is It Hot or is it Just Me?

Donn James

Donn James

So it’s fire season again and every year we treat it as an abnormality and are shocked by the destruction it brings and for the longest time I didn’t believe we were that stupid…but now I’m not so sure. If I lived next to a river and every storm left me with trout on the porch, I’d figure it out. I mean, people in Alaska aren’t surprised when it snows and people in Louisiana aren’t surprised when a hurricane puts their couch in Missouri, so why are we shocked and outraged when one of our hills goes off like a bottle rocket on the 4th? Geez, the temperature is about a thousand, the only moisture in the air is leaking from our pores as we wobble into air-conditioned buildings and people still think anything outside their car window is an ashtray so it seems pretty normal to me. I have a friend with a child who is a budding pyromaniac and I fully expect him to eventually cause millions of dollars in damage somewhere because you don’t have to complete a background check to buy a blowtorch.
I started thinking about this because we are still naming fires and most of you know I hate our propensity for naming natural disasters as if this humanizing act will lessen the disaster and you’ll feel better knowing your pet cow is flying around Iowa propelled by Tornado Ed or that grandma’s double-wide was swept away by Hurricane Lily. I always thought they named fires, hurricanes and tornadoes because the talent-less hacks we call newscasters couldn’t grasp the concept of latitude and longitude. It seemed reasonable since most of them can’t put together a coherent sentence without the aid of a teleprompter. I recently learned the first official vehicle to respond to a fire gets to name it and they usually give it a geographical reference name instead of something useful like Earl or Courtney. That’s why we have fires named Cedar Road or Blue Cut but I still think it’s a disservice to the majority of us because the people that recognize the geological reference already know their garage is on fire. And the same goes with hurricanes. When you see the wall of water turn your Mazda into a surfboard, it’s of little consolation to know it’s just Hurricane Karen.
In addition to natural disasters we also have the temerity to name man-made disasters like serial killers and bank jobs for entertainment reasons but I don’t understand why PETA stays quiet since we started naming disasters after our four-legged and beaked buddies. We have mad cow, swine and bird flu, chicken pox, elephantiasis and Beetlejuice. So it’s OK to throw red paint on a movie star in alligator boots but everybody stays quiet when your hamburger smells a little funny. Personally, I don’t think we go far enough because many disease names are hard to pronounce anyway so I think instead of calling it malaria; we should just call it Pat. And if I go to the doctor with an ugly rash I don’t need him to rattle off some Latin. He should just say, “Oh, that’s a Bob” and give me some ointment. And if you’re gluten intolerant, go to a witch doctor because that’s not a real thing either.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has hot promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…do you smell smoke?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Can I Help Myself?

Donn James

Donn James

It’s 9:00 in the morning and as I’m just rolling up my sleeves to get serious at the computer, I find one of my wife’s nylons stuck in my right sleeve like an Amazonian leech, so clearly one dryer sheet per load is not doing the trick. Is this a conspiracy by the dryer sheet industry long known for its underhanded business practices? I always thought the shampoo people were the bad guys with their whole shampoo, rinse, repeat mantra and I never fell for that because I knew all they wanted me to do was use up the bottle twice as fast. Dryer sheets have one job and if they can’t handle it, we need to call somebody because this has probably happened to me a hundred times over the last thirty-some years and it doesn’t appear I’m very motivated to do anything about it. I’ve had them slowly slide down my pants leg at the office and sort of slither down my back like hot fudge sliding down ice cream. I don’t know why they have such an affinity with my clothing but somebody has probably written a book about it. Well, I’m not going to read a whole self-help book just to find the perfect number of dryer sheets necessary to divorce my wife’s hose from my shirts without the laundry getting so fluffy that I fall asleep driving to the store. I’m too old to develop many new habits and I don’t want to have to shake my clothes out like I’m living in Yuma and shaking scorpions out of my shoes.
While you all know I’m all about motivation and improving myself and the story of me bribing my kids to hand me the remote so I wouldn’t have to put the recliner in an upright position is just a rumor, I’m not a fan of self-help books. They seem to all be written by people I wouldn’t trust to feed my cat and if you wrote a “get rich quick” book you only did it to try and well…get rich quick. And the title is misleading because it should be If You Buy This Book, I’ll Get Rich Quick. I’ve looked at a couple of self-help books but every time they tell me I should be doing something, I can’t help but think, “Yeah, I don’t see me doing that.” Besides, is it really self-help if somebody else is telling me to do something? I’ll be a better person if I do something YOU tell me to do. That’s never worked for parents so why do you think I’m going to listen to a graduate of the online PT Barnum School of Psychology and Hypnotism? My personal favorite has always been I’m Dysfunctional, You’re Dysfunctional because it perfectly describes me and everybody I know or have met…plus the billion people I haven’t yet met. Even now, I don’t need a book to tell me I’m dysfunctional although many of my friends still appear clueless and do silly things like wear fedoras…in public.
Self-help books are carefully couched toward bettering anyone silly enough to have purchased the book but they all seem to concentrate on blaming someone else for the fact that you still wet the bed. If all you can do is blame someone else you’re probably a politician anyway and if you think someone else should be responsible for you, you shouldn’t be allowed out of your stroller. Now I believe I’ll help myself to some lunch.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC promotional products will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…can you help me?

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