Is It Hot or is it Just Me?

Donn James

Donn James

So it’s fire season again and every year we treat it as an abnormality and are shocked by the destruction it brings and for the longest time I didn’t believe we were that stupid…but now I’m not so sure. If I lived next to a river and every storm left me with trout on the porch, I’d figure it out. I mean, people in Alaska aren’t surprised when it snows and people in Louisiana aren’t surprised when a hurricane puts their couch in Missouri, so why are we shocked and outraged when one of our hills goes off like a bottle rocket on the 4th? Geez, the temperature is about a thousand, the only moisture in the air is leaking from our pores as we wobble into air-conditioned buildings and people still think anything outside their car window is an ashtray so it seems pretty normal to me. I have a friend with a child who is a budding pyromaniac and I fully expect him to eventually cause millions of dollars in damage somewhere because you don’t have to complete a background check to buy a blowtorch.
I started thinking about this because we are still naming fires and most of you know I hate our propensity for naming natural disasters as if this humanizing act will lessen the disaster and you’ll feel better knowing your pet cow is flying around Iowa propelled by Tornado Ed or that grandma’s double-wide was swept away by Hurricane Lily. I always thought they named fires, hurricanes and tornadoes because the talent-less hacks we call newscasters couldn’t grasp the concept of latitude and longitude. It seemed reasonable since most of them can’t put together a coherent sentence without the aid of a teleprompter. I recently learned the first official vehicle to respond to a fire gets to name it and they usually give it a geographical reference name instead of something useful like Earl or Courtney. That’s why we have fires named Cedar Road or Blue Cut but I still think it’s a disservice to the majority of us because the people that recognize the geological reference already know their garage is on fire. And the same goes with hurricanes. When you see the wall of water turn your Mazda into a surfboard, it’s of little consolation to know it’s just Hurricane Karen.
In addition to natural disasters we also have the temerity to name man-made disasters like serial killers and bank jobs for entertainment reasons but I don’t understand why PETA stays quiet since we started naming disasters after our four-legged and beaked buddies. We have mad cow, swine and bird flu, chicken pox, elephantiasis and Beetlejuice. So it’s OK to throw red paint on a movie star in alligator boots but everybody stays quiet when your hamburger smells a little funny. Personally, I don’t think we go far enough because many disease names are hard to pronounce anyway so I think instead of calling it malaria; we should just call it Pat. And if I go to the doctor with an ugly rash I don’t need him to rattle off some Latin. He should just say, “Oh, that’s a Bob” and give me some ointment. And if you’re gluten intolerant, go to a witch doctor because that’s not a real thing either.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has hot promotional products that will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the  What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…do you smell smoke?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Can I Help Myself?

Donn James

Donn James

It’s 9:00 in the morning and as I’m just rolling up my sleeves to get serious at the computer, I find one of my wife’s nylons stuck in my right sleeve like an Amazonian leech, so clearly one dryer sheet per load is not doing the trick. Is this a conspiracy by the dryer sheet industry long known for its underhanded business practices? I always thought the shampoo people were the bad guys with their whole shampoo, rinse, repeat mantra and I never fell for that because I knew all they wanted me to do was use up the bottle twice as fast. Dryer sheets have one job and if they can’t handle it, we need to call somebody because this has probably happened to me a hundred times over the last thirty-some years and it doesn’t appear I’m very motivated to do anything about it. I’ve had them slowly slide down my pants leg at the office and sort of slither down my back like hot fudge sliding down ice cream. I don’t know why they have such an affinity with my clothing but somebody has probably written a book about it. Well, I’m not going to read a whole self-help book just to find the perfect number of dryer sheets necessary to divorce my wife’s hose from my shirts without the laundry getting so fluffy that I fall asleep driving to the store. I’m too old to develop many new habits and I don’t want to have to shake my clothes out like I’m living in Yuma and shaking scorpions out of my shoes.
While you all know I’m all about motivation and improving myself and the story of me bribing my kids to hand me the remote so I wouldn’t have to put the recliner in an upright position is just a rumor, I’m not a fan of self-help books. They seem to all be written by people I wouldn’t trust to feed my cat and if you wrote a “get rich quick” book you only did it to try and well…get rich quick. And the title is misleading because it should be If You Buy This Book, I’ll Get Rich Quick. I’ve looked at a couple of self-help books but every time they tell me I should be doing something, I can’t help but think, “Yeah, I don’t see me doing that.” Besides, is it really self-help if somebody else is telling me to do something? I’ll be a better person if I do something YOU tell me to do. That’s never worked for parents so why do you think I’m going to listen to a graduate of the online PT Barnum School of Psychology and Hypnotism? My personal favorite has always been I’m Dysfunctional, You’re Dysfunctional because it perfectly describes me and everybody I know or have met…plus the billion people I haven’t yet met. Even now, I don’t need a book to tell me I’m dysfunctional although many of my friends still appear clueless and do silly things like wear fedoras…in public.
Self-help books are carefully couched toward bettering anyone silly enough to have purchased the book but they all seem to concentrate on blaming someone else for the fact that you still wet the bed. If all you can do is blame someone else you’re probably a politician anyway and if you think someone else should be responsible for you, you shouldn’t be allowed out of your stroller. Now I believe I’ll help myself to some lunch.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC promotional products will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the What's New?section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…can you help me?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

The Lines are Open

Donn James

Donn James

The last two weeks have found me rambling through the political conventions and while I have endeavored to be fair, just like the candidates I really don’t care what you think. Your only duty left is to vote for one of the two parties who have a chance to win because if you think you’re making a statement by voting for a third party, you might as well be trying to draw a picture on your driveway in chalk while I’m holding a hose. While I am in favor of multiple parties I am intelligent enough to know they must be started at the local level and move upward, not the other way around so if you’ve decided you’re going to start a Dirt party, try and get elected as dogcatcher in your neighborhood. Then move on to city council so you can change the timing on all the traffic lights so you always have green. Then get a few people elected to congress so they can filibuster to ban whatever it is they put in hot dogs and you’ll be on your way but you can’t fight the system by starting at the top. Boxers don’t start with a fight for the title. Hell, most of them start in alleys and move on to bars before they even get in the ring.
Now that the conventions are over I suspect the only thing left to decry is the need for them in the first place as they have proven to be nothing more than a four day commercial for each party at our expense. Aside from the Tea Party on one side to the Bernettes on the other for the sole purpose of amusement, the results were always a foregone conclusion. That’s why we have primaries all of us ignore. We need to end this madness because this four day Lieathon could easily be turned into a two hour special and I think we should get the American Idol people to produce it, and since we’re paying for it anyway, it could be done commercial-free so we wouldn’t be interrupted by those irritating mascara and Viagra ads. They could turn it into the game show it already is. These two are the final survivors based on phone voting by people you wouldn’t let adopt a pet and the people who didn’t vote already know the real talent has been kicked to the curb. The only real problem is that neither candidate has any known talent but Trump could get Clint Eastwood to come out and talk to a chair while Hillary could have Meryl Streep come out and read the constitution. The only other issue is we would need to replace Ryan Sechrist because he’s more annoying than both candidates and it would look like some kid in kindergarten trying to interview Mother Teresa and the Pope. I say we bring back Bob Barker. He’s older than either of them and he doesn’t take any crap from anyone. We could even bring out The Price is Right wheel and they could replace all the amounts with real issues and he could make them spin it and actually tell us their plan. I think the best thing about this being a two hour special is that it would limit the back story because if I have to listen to one more story about how they can relate to me…nobody is safe.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some elective promotional products and, for 2016, we have new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…do you have a party?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Act Like Adults is Just a Suggestion

Donn James

Donn James

I find it only equitable that I do my best to make the other half of you mad this week. Thankfully, for all concerned both conventions are mercifully over and we can get to the serious stuff like TV ads where you lie about each other. Your tax dollars at work. This week there were no weird salutes but if last week’s elephant race through Cleveland was a circus, Philadelphia was a giant petting zoo…and there were too many donkeys to count. Well, Bernie supporters played their version of If we don’t get our way, we’ll just take our ball and go home but other than that it was really kind of tame.
I think we can all agree that this week’s tenor was kinder and gentler as the speakers seemed to just wander around patting each other on the back. They were so syrupy sweet, nice and complimentary to everyone, except the Donald of course, that I nodded off during almost every speech because my blood sugar was all screwed up. And even the barbs directed at the other party were more lighthearted and tongue in cheek but that’s probably because they’re trying to portray him as a cartoon figure, so much so I fully expected someone to call him SpongeBob. I do think the Dems broke the record for “aw shucks” and “golly gee” this week as we were regaled with everyone’s life story of being born a poor child, struggling through school while working part time at a lemonade stand built by illegal immigrants. I can barely listen to my own life story so I don’t understand why they think I want to hear about theirs.
According to the professionals, this week’s crowd misspoke, misinterpreted and lied about as much as last week’s crowd so I’m pretty sure this group thinks we’re all idiots also. What the Democrats did was show more videos, probably because they learned we had had enough “speechifying” to quote Jed Clampett. I suspect the best thing Democrats could say following the close of the convention was, “We had Katy Perry and you didn’t.”
Without regard for my particular political bend, I will jump on my soapbox for a moment and tell you I’m a big fan of women. I am married to a woman so much better than I in far too many ways to count and I’ve never done anything that some woman couldn’t do better. There are women much smarter than I and I’ve known female golfers, writers, business people, soccer and softball players better than I but you must band together because you will never be equal unless you stop these bozos from describing your outfits. I’m watching the convention and I can see her pantsuit is white and Chelsea’s dress is red. Do you think I’m blind? When I walk into a room, “I don’t hear anyone whispering, “He’s resplendent in T-shirt, Bermuda shorts and untied tennis shoes.” When Trump walked on stage last week no announcer commented, “He’s wearing a suit nobody else can afford.” I may be wrong and I usually am but isn’t this just another example of the sexism we’re trying to bury? Now, all of you get in your minivans and change this.
The conventions are over and we will find ourselves subjected to 90-some days of political ads telling us what they want us to hear in order to capture our vote but the first law we need to change is the one that says if you’re declared mentally incompetent (crazy) you’re not allowed to vote but…you’re still allowed to run for office…proving there are still a few bugs in the system.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some elective promotional products and, for 2016, we have new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…what color was that dress?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Fix It Because I’m Not Moving!

Donn James

Donn James

While I hate to talk politics as a rule, even with the happy benefit of making people mad, this is the time during the four year span where you can’t seem to hear anything else so I’m the guy with the keyboard and I feel as qualified as the media to offer comments since we can’t get them to shut up. If you think the following is unfair, remember the other side of the fence goes next week and we can expect more of the same, which is unjust to America. I can’t believe after 250 years we still only have two parties when in other civilized countries, you can sell bratwurst out of a rolling cart on the street and be a political party. Meanwhile here, in America, we’re wistfully searching for the box marked “Other.”
The Republicans just left Cleveland after four days in an atmosphere that was only missing a circus tent. Certainly no shortage of elephants. They didn’t show the credits but I’m pretty sure it was produced by Barnum & Bailey. And unlike LeBron, Cleveland wasn’t as happy to have them back. It was four days of speeches given by people who looked like the kind of kids who struck out playing kickball in elementary school… which is nearly impossible for all but the inept given that the ball is the size of a garbage can lid. I felt like I was watching a marathon of Saturday Night Live reruns. Rick Scott, the governor of Florida so that should tell you something, memorized his speech and while that might be laudable, it’s really much more amazing that he stayed awake to do it. I could be running from a bullet and fall asleep listening to him. And I don’t want to do any favors for the other side but I hope they don’t have any shaved heads on the ticket. I get that everyone doesn’t have hair but I shouldn’t have to go blind or wear sunglasses to watch you on TV so stop spit-shining your head because I can’t stand the glare and the TV lights make you sweat so you look like a hard-boiled egg in a car wash. And why do we bring out all the children to speak. They only know their dad as a dad and many of us dads are very different in a business or political setting. Your kids may think you’re the greatest but the rest of us have seen your picture on the post office wall. Remember, Genghis Khan was a brutal, murderous, genocidal ruler…but he went to all of his kids’ soccer games. This week’s nominee did give a good speech, speaking all the words that were on the teleprompter in the right order, but I felt like he yelled at me for an hour and a half. Even my dad when he was mad only yelled for about five seconds. We did learn that next week’s nominee is responsible for giving the apple to Eve in the garden, sinking the Titanic, and giving us low-fat mayo.
I just don’t get why they lie? And they all do. Are they only talking to the people who aren’t paying attention? Have they not heard of the internet? Every word of every speech is dissected by the other side and even by people with no ax to grind so why try and mislead us with facts? and figures that don’t add up. Please stop peeing on my leg and telling me it’s  raining.
Next week it will be the Democrats turn to pitch their tents and lie to us and I’m looking forward to learning that I have to pay more taxes so the millionaire down the block can build a golden bidet. The Dems have their work cut out for themselves, though I’m sure they’re working on a plan to give us something that outdoes the right-wing radio personality giving the Nazi salute at the end of her speech. She was a real high point. The other day after that act played on national TV, someone funny said we might be mistaken. It might not have been a Nazi salute…it could have been a Nazi wave…or a Nazi yoga pose. No offense, but these are the same people who thought Sarah Palin was too far out there, so if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of my wallet.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some elective promotional products and, for 2016, we have front runners from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…can we count on your vote?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Where’s the Meat?

Donn James

Donn James

I just had to buy and install cabinet door locks because the puppy has learned how to open the pantry doors and I believe she’s not using that knowledge for good. In fact, I think she’s smuggling bones to the other two to keep them quiet. She got into the pantry and ate a can of cat food the other day and I’m pretty sure she gave her brothers chew sticks to keep them occupied. I don’t mean she ate the can but apparently aluminum is no match for puppy teeth because she carved it open better than a surgeon in a hurry so I hope she enjoyed her flaked tuna and gravy appetizer. I suppose I could just move the pet food to another shelf but I don’t know what I would put down there because yesterday she ate a box of macaroni.
Pets will eat almost anything so what I really want is for companies to stop advertising their pet foods as if your beagle can read. Dogs don’t care if it’s beef or chicken flavored but certainly don’t tell them it’s something called “Healthy Weight” because they know that’s just diet dog food. There is really a brand called Taste of the Wild as if your Chihuahua is one generation removed from living in the mountains and mating with wolverines. I have one dog that is so big he must be related to the wolf and he’s happy any day he can capture a couch…and he doesn’t have to sneak up on it. When it comes to food, my dogs don’t care who died to turn into their dinner…as long as something with bones died. The puppy ate a newspaper yesterday and she didn’t care that it wasn’t beef, pork, chicken or lamb flavored. Be careful though because there is a dog food out there called Grandma’s Country Stew and if I tried to tell my dogs that, they would vomit before I got the bowl on the floor because they know the only appliance my grandmother could work was the toaster and it took her forty years to figure that out. She was French and she followed their whole never using deodorant thing but the whole cooking thing skipped her generation.
There is also a brand of dog treats called Ducky Charms and I question which Mensa member sitting in an ad agency really thought dogs understood word play since it takes them years just to understand the word “NO.” There’s another company that advertises their dog biscuits are made ‘artisan style’ but I’m sure my dogs don’t care that their dog bones were stamped out by the thousands with a machine…as long as they get a thousand of them. They do like a nice latte once in a while so maybe I’m wrong but seriously, at meal time I get a look from my dogs and cats that says “Just put the bowl down and back away slowly.”
In the midst of all the ad companies trying to convince us to buy their crap, we must remember our pets are, like us, just carnivores who know how to shake hands so if you’re trying to veganize your pets…stop it. If you’re doing that I hope they pee on your chair. Their diets should be meat-based so stop trying to trick them with vegetables. There’s a reason it’s called Taste of the Wild and not Taste of the Turnip.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some tasty promotional products and, for 2016, we have new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…are you trying to trick me with broccoli?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

It’s Not Really Lost

Donn James

Donn James

My daughter got on a flight this morning to go to a bachelorette party in Austin, Texas this weekend and I’m always amazed at the lengths the young will go for a party because, at this point in time, you could tell me Bruce Springsteen was playing for free down the street and my only question would be, “Well, how far down the street?”
This isn’t really my point though. I’m sure she wasn’t taking anything but sorority T-shirts and bathing suits so she only took a carry-on suitcase but it got me started thinking about how many times in the last 50 years I had arrived somewhere but my luggage had not. I’ve never understood it and I expect it will remain one of life’s great mysteries. See, I go to the airport and I have my bag. Then the airline takes me and they take my bag but only one of us gets to our destination and that has always baffled me. You didn’t lose me…how did you lose my bag? Are they so concerned with their on-time departure stats that they forget the little things…like luggage? They expect me to make it to my gate…why can’t they get my bag there? I once went from LA to London and while I made it, my bag did not. If you’ve not done it, this is a 9 hour overnight flight, mostly over water so I fail to understand what kept my bag from joining me in the old country. Did it feel like a midnight swim? Maybe it’s more afraid to fly than I am? Did the plane have a burglary 35,000 feet above Alaska? As it is, I have to throw away my water and practically strip nude, explain the steel plates in my head that are setting off the alarm and you’re checking my shoes for fuses just to get through security and you can’t get my bag to the plane on time? Once, going to Kansas City I had to come back to the airport because my dog didn’t make my flight and had to catch the next one. I can understand not being able to find a needle in a haystack but how do you miss a dog in a crate the size of a Fiat?
The biggest problem when your luggage doesn’t make it is that you have to go to the Lost Baggage office and these people already have a spot in Hell reserved for them. If your bag is missing you’re already mad enough to filet a puppy and now you have to talk to a person with the worst job in the civilized world. In Dante’s Inferno the 1st Circle of Hell is Limbo and that’s exactly where you are now stuck, trying to explain to somebody who resides in the 8th Circle of Hell (Fraud) that you’d like to change your underwear sooner than the next 48 hours. Across the counter from you is the least sincere person in the world and all they can do is smile and offer you a sandwich bag filled with everything the airline has determined you need until you are reunited with your bag. As if brushing my teeth and combing my hair will mollify me…and I’m pretty sure I’m too mad to be trusted with a razor. Lost baggage people always say they understand but I know they don’t and all I really want is a reasonable explanation as to why I’m talking to them in Atlanta while my bag is just landing in Omaha. I always wondered what type of person would be comfortable working in the lost baggage arena and I now believe, if you just quit your job working the phones at a suicide hot-line because it was too stressful, you’re just about ready for a career in lost baggage.
This kind of crap doesn’t happen in other industries. I don’t wake up in ICU with my doctor standing over me, waiting to tell me he has to open me up again because a nurse misplaced my liver. Even in other service industries you don’t get the same kind of phony apologies. You never hear your waitress say, “Here’s your burger sir but your fries didn’t make it onto the plate.”

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some winning promotional products and, for 2016, we have new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. We will blow your mind with our decorations and we will make your customer think you are off the hook. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…can you just carry on?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment