I am certainly not without pretext, clearly evidenced by the fact that I can successfully pretend to like many of you and while I can profess to enjoy a good salad, I happily remain a carnivore. I didn’t start the trend and it’s not my fault that cave dwellers decided to domesticate cats and dogs and eat cows and pigs…though I applaud their decision. Someone once said that if we weren’t supposed to eat cows, God would have made them harder to catch. After all, we’re not walking around eating cheetah burgers. And it remains a wonder of the world that no matter what you feed a pig…it turns it into bacon.
While I do eat and enjoy salad often, we have foolishly reached the point where we actually think of salads as real food. I was recently on the internet and found a list of salad “recipes” and I think that’s a bit of a stretch. Salad might be getting a big head because I think if you need a recipe to make a salad, you probably spent most of your school years fighting your way through remedial math. Doesn’t a recipe imply measuring something, cooking or baking something…not just pouring a bunch of crap in a bowl? Salads were only invented because someone had some leftover ranch dressing and now we’re making salads by just looking through the refrigerator for one last meal before we dump the stuff in the garbage. My biggest problem with people treating salads as if they were real food is when someone drops in some tomatoes or carrot peels, they say they do it to “add a bit of color” because we already know it’s still going to taste like you’re eating your front yard.
Salads should be embarrassed to know that the only way they can taste better is when smart people put something in them…that’s not salad. If somebody puts a plate of greens in front of me, there had better be a hamburger hiding under it. And just sprinkling quinoa over it like fairy dust isn’t going to turn it into real food. If your mouth just gets a bite of grass and leaves, your brain thinks you’ve just been reincarnated as a bunny. The best salads are full of things like apples, nuts, pears, pancetta and bacon…and cheese. Then it becomes a game of “find the good stuff” in a pile of fallen leaves and you get a great feeling when your teeth gnaw through the grass and you get a bite of cranberry, apple or a bit of blue cheese or, if you’re really lucky, that wonderful chunk of bacon. Other than that, we really only eat salad for the dressing and this fact is apparent when you’re in a restaurant and the waitress lists the salad dressings and they don’t have the one you like. Like if they don’t have thousand island, you just want to tell them to bring you some mayo, ketchup and a pickle and you’ll make your own. Anything so it doesn’t taste like salad.
Here’s one last thought about salads. How bad does a food have to be when, to make it taste better, you put vinegar on it? You can try and fool yourself and call it vinaigrette but it’s still the stuff that will remove paint and wallpaper. And why would you eat something you just used to whiten the grout in your bathroom tile? One more last thought…croutons. Salads are so bad, we make them edible by sprinkling stale bread on them.
It’s not really that different in business. Some of our products are entrees and some are main courses that will dress up your event. IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. The 2016 IMC catalog has gone to print and is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services soon. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can thumb through our 2015 catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 edition using the catalog page of our website. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Kikkerland, Blunt, Nina Ricci and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…would you like to start with a salad?