Two Sides of an Aisle Aren’t Enough

Donn James

I rarely offer an opinion on politics even though I’m told I can if I can be even-handed and fair to both sides but I’ve found I can only be one of those things so you’ll have to settle for even-handed and unfair. The other reason I rarely jump into the fray is that I usually only upset 50% of the people and I like to shoot for more. Thankfully, one side wants me to have a gun so it’s easier to do.
Currently the right doesn’t realize they’re a bunch of immigrants trying to get rid of another bunch of immigrants while the left has decided their best strategy is to whine a lot. The argument on the right that they came here legally holds a lot less water when you know our first settlers were kicked out of Europe for being stupid. When they arrived they immediately started to hassle the Indians, who we only called Indians because Columbus couldn’t read a map, so there was plenty of stupid to go around. Those we now call Native Americans got here first because they were better with directions as they walked here from Russia because they didn’t think they’d like Communism in 2,000 years. The right wants to drill for oil or set up a logging camp in my backyard while the left wants me to save a tree frog I’ve never met. Both parties claim to be the party of the people while 95% of us are just embarrassed by the crap they’re pulling.
So when all the dumb people from Plymouth Rock moved to Washington our choice became limited to voting for the people who embarrass us the least because both sides just want my money but the right wants to give it to people who already have money and the left wants to give it to people without money. So I find myself torn because it’s still. my. money! In this era when we should be thinking more about solar homes and electric cars, the right wants to be the nation who produces the most oil while the left feels that if we can just plug all the holes in the ozone layer, everything will be just fine.
Both sides of the aisle believe they best know how to govern and, if I’ve learned anything in the last 50 years, it’s that being wrong and stupid is a dangerous combination. The right seems to think if we give everyone a gun, we won’t need any rules and the left thinks if we have no guns, a rule for everything and we all eat grass, the polar cap will stop melting.
I lean to the left although lately I don’t broadcast it much as it opens me to ridicule I don’t need and it’s mainly the avalanche of rules that puts me at odds with the party. That’s my biggest problem with the left as they think governing is making a rule against everything. I saw a commercial for a fast food restaurant which showed two guys sitting in a car eating a hot dog with a fork. I’m sure there’s more to this story but they had a disclaimer on the screen telling me, “Do not drive with sharp objects” as if I drive down the road knitting a shawl. That’s too many rules. I don’t even like the, “Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt at home.” If we lose a few because of an overdose of stupidity, I’m oddly OK with that. Did you know that on a bottle of Children’s Benadryl there is a warning against alcohol or operating a car or other machinery? If a kid can’t figure that out, I’m not sure I want the little sucker on my team.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…left and right are both wrong?

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About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
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One Response to Two Sides of an Aisle Aren’t Enough

  1. Jaime Shine says:

    Thanks for the laugh, Donn! I needed it today. This is one of the best political discussions I’ve read in a long time and why I stay out of online political discussions. The entire situation is a little unreal and getting crazier every day. I always enjoy checking out your new products and innovative brands. You can always count on unique and fun products (that are still functional) from IMC! p.s. The Fred & Friends Reboot phone holder is awesome.

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