Baby, I Think I See a Gap

Donn James

We are 60 days out from adding a new member in the family and, while excited about the addition, I am tired of looking at baby clothes. The thing is, these days they are not baby clothes and instead they are adult clothes sized down as if to fit a garden gnome, while I’m all for letting the little guy run around in a diaper until he’s old enough to look through the J Crew catalog and pick his own outfits.
I find it odd that we think we can hurry the zygote through childhood by dressing him in overalls like he just came in from plowing the back 40. And what’s with all the pockets in kid’s clothing? In California about the only thing a baby has is a cell phone and none of the pockets are big enough for that. As babies, the only other thing they have a rudimentary working knowledge of is a bottle and that won’t fit either. What they really need is one of those beer guzzler hardhats with a bottle of milk in it and a hose that comes down to their mouth. That way they’d get nourishment and strengthen their neck muscles so they’re able to turn their heads and that will come in handy for watching tennis on TV. When they achieve a certain age I suppose they could carry around an emergency supply of Cheerios but the first time they get hugged, all they’re going to have in their pocket is a pile of oat dust. Babies can’t reach the doorknob and wouldn’t know how to work it if they could so they certainly don’t need a house key in their pocket. I guess if you put the baby in jeans the front pockets are big enough for a small switchblade…or a set of lock picks if you’re raising a cat burglar. The other odd thing about baby jeans is they have the bottoms turned so the jeans have cuffs. The kid has been two places…in a crib and a car seat and you’re worried that he might trip.
The fact the kid can’t walk brings up another bone of contention and that is baby shoes. Did you know you can buy Converse Chuck Taylors for your baby…as if he’s going to play a little one-on-one against the zygote next door? He can’t even walk. Kenneth Cole makes a baby boat shoe so you don’t have to worry about him slipping when he’s out drinking on that party boat. And Ralph Lauren even makes a suede oxford, apparently so he’s dressed like he just left a meeting with his financial advisor when he throws up on Daddy’s shoulder. To add to the madness Timberland has a full line of boots for babies. The kid lives on a blanket in the living room and you have him dressed like he’s ready to scale Mt Whitney. I can only imagine that your kid is thinking, “I don’t even know how to roll over but let’s go on a hike.”
I was going to leave hats out of this but I’m afraid of what you parents will do so I’ll just mention a couple of things. I’m all for protecting the fair skin and even though you don’t need to have a license to have a child although you should, you have an obligation to keep the kid out of emergency rooms to the best of your ability but remember…nobody looks good in a fedora…not your baby, not Pharrell, not Taylor Swift. Just get the kid a simple bucket hat; it will cover their head and they’ll be fine since they don’t know what’s going on around them anyway but stay away from the Hogan caps…you’re not raising a Scottish sheep farmer.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what are you wearing?

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I Support Lumberjacks

Donn James

I just found out that today is National Paul Bunyan and Babe Day and I’d like to salute them and pay a special homage to Babe…America’s first support animal. Babe went everywhere with Paul, protected him from liberals who didn’t like lumberjacks and thanks to the good work of Paul and Babe, we get to live indoors, write long letters and wipe ourselves. I probably wouldn’t even mind if they wanted to stroll through our mall…as long as Babe was on a leash. That said, I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like people invading my space with their support animals so if you can’t maneuver in the world without carrying around a support Chihuahua, you should be micro-chipped so we know where you are and can avoid you like we avoid most of our relatives. One of our three dogs has some Chihuahua in him and he’s noticeably lacking in the support department and completely missing in the guard dog department. Oh, he’s a cuddler of course but he’s certainly not going to be whispering, “Everything will be OK” in your ear while you’re perilously navigating the aisles at Forever 21. Our dog Cooper is some sort of Chihuahua/Jack Russell terrier/Bat mix and he’s fearless when he’s up against the doorbell but when the door opens, he turns into the biggest coward in the county in that he’s less of an attack dog and more of a ‘panic attack’ dog. He’s cool around the family but if he meets someone new, he pees on himself like someone is holding a knife to his throat. Not a lot of support there.
For generations I have heard people complain about how and what they eat when they’re depressed, sad, lost, melancholy or even just hungry and I think we need to see it in a different light and change the common attitude about food so I think instead of support animals…we should have support food. You want to carry your dog around the mall in your purse? Here, carry this lasagna. And if you’re such a lightweight you couldn’t wrangle a Percocet for your 1-hour flight to Vegas and feel disposed to drag along your support guinea pig, your fellow passengers would be more comfortable if you were just carrying an eggplant. If you can’t tolerate that root canal unless you have your support gerbil sitting on your stomach, please consider a chicken strip and the twilight sleep…it will still hurt be at least you’ll be entertaining.
Since we’re on the subject of food and live in the heaviest nation on earth even as I write, last week I wrote about laws and how the left seems to want a law for everything and the right doesn’t want a law for anything, I thought I’d mention something that has, to date, fallen through the cracks. I believe most of the warning labels are stupid and if can’t figure out that peanut contain peanuts, you were probably home-schooled by a rock and have trouble using a phone but when we could do the populace some good, we drop the ball. I’m fine with the tobacco and alcohol warnings as they may save some lives but we continue to ignore the greatest threat to Americans…the all you can eat buffet. Where’s that warning label? The mac & cheese at every buffet in America has killed more people than the plague and I don’t think a simple warning label is too much to ask. It could be something simple and gentle like…You’d be safer sticking your head in the stove at home.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…have you gone to the dogs?

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Two Sides of an Aisle Aren’t Enough

Donn James

I rarely offer an opinion on politics even though I’m told I can if I can be even-handed and fair to both sides but I’ve found I can only be one of those things so you’ll have to settle for even-handed and unfair. The other reason I rarely jump into the fray is that I usually only upset 50% of the people and I like to shoot for more. Thankfully, one side wants me to have a gun so it’s easier to do.
Currently the right doesn’t realize they’re a bunch of immigrants trying to get rid of another bunch of immigrants while the left has decided their best strategy is to whine a lot. The argument on the right that they came here legally holds a lot less water when you know our first settlers were kicked out of Europe for being stupid. When they arrived they immediately started to hassle the Indians, who we only called Indians because Columbus couldn’t read a map, so there was plenty of stupid to go around. Those we now call Native Americans got here first because they were better with directions as they walked here from Russia because they didn’t think they’d like Communism in 2,000 years. The right wants to drill for oil or set up a logging camp in my backyard while the left wants me to save a tree frog I’ve never met. Both parties claim to be the party of the people while 95% of us are just embarrassed by the crap they’re pulling.
So when all the dumb people from Plymouth Rock moved to Washington our choice became limited to voting for the people who embarrass us the least because both sides just want my money but the right wants to give it to people who already have money and the left wants to give it to people without money. So I find myself torn because it’s still. my. money! In this era when we should be thinking more about solar homes and electric cars, the right wants to be the nation who produces the most oil while the left feels that if we can just plug all the holes in the ozone layer, everything will be just fine.
Both sides of the aisle believe they best know how to govern and, if I’ve learned anything in the last 50 years, it’s that being wrong and stupid is a dangerous combination. The right seems to think if we give everyone a gun, we won’t need any rules and the left thinks if we have no guns, a rule for everything and we all eat grass, the polar cap will stop melting.
I lean to the left although lately I don’t broadcast it much as it opens me to ridicule I don’t need and it’s mainly the avalanche of rules that puts me at odds with the party. That’s my biggest problem with the left as they think governing is making a rule against everything. I saw a commercial for a fast food restaurant which showed two guys sitting in a car eating a hot dog with a fork. I’m sure there’s more to this story but they had a disclaimer on the screen telling me, “Do not drive with sharp objects” as if I drive down the road knitting a shawl. That’s too many rules. I don’t even like the, “Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt at home.” If we lose a few because of an overdose of stupidity, I’m oddly OK with that. Did you know that on a bottle of Children’s Benadryl there is a warning against alcohol or operating a car or other machinery? If a kid can’t figure that out, I’m not sure I want the little sucker on my team.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…left and right are both wrong?

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I Need a Good Book

Donn James

I awoke this morning with a minor dilemma in that nothing particularly irritating had happened this week but then I remembered there had been random moments of lunacy that might be worth sharing. We were out to dinner earlier this week and for about the millionth time a waiter told me, “Careful, plate is hot.” Firstly, I’m eating at 4:30 so I’ve been around the block a time or two and secondly, you’re putting the plate down wearing an oven mitt so that’s another clue. Thirdly, if you do your job right and put it down where it should be there’s no reason for me to touch my plate. And fourthly because I’m feeling a little cranky, stop making the plates so damned hot. If I wanted my steak to go from rare to medium on the walk to my table, I would have ordered it that way.
Why do I get the feeling that most people who write self-help books are helpless? I would think the first criteria should be knowledge of the subject in which you’re professing to be proficient but I’m seeing books seemingly written by people who seem to need a diagram to tie their own shoes. I’m used to cookbooks being written by people a little on the robust side and that is actually genuine because we all get the feeling they know of what they speak and I wouldn’t have the same feeling if some emaciated waif tried to tell me how to cook a pork chop. I don’t even trust Giada because she’s too damned thin. That said, if you’re lying in bed cranking out recipes until they need a crane to lift you out of bed and get you to the morgue, you’ve probably gone too far the other way…and I’m a little afraid to read your cookbook. On a side note, let’s get rid of those motorized carts for old, fat men. You’re depriving them of the one thing they need…exercise. In fact, stores would be doing them a favor if they put the aisles closer together so the carts wouldn’t fit and they would have to get off and walk because if you have to turn sideways and sidle down the aisle to get to the Oreos, maybe it’s time you bought some grapes. When their body spills out over all sides of the cart, they just look like a cupcake on a skateboard.
This is California and while we’ve seen almost everything, that doesn’t mean you can get away with everything. Remember we have an obligation to tell the rest of the country what is cool because they certainly don’t know. But lately the fashion magazines seem to be full of crap because if you’re wearing a purple blazer over blue jeans, under a red fedora and you decide to complete the look with socks and sandals; I’m not buying your ‘Dress for Success’ book. You were either raised by Peewee Herman or are auditioning for the new game show…Find the Geek. That’s just not a good look on men. I’m certainly no expert but I know what the color wheel is. And while I know nothing about women I’m told you dress for men so I have a couple of tips. If any part of your apparel is hanging off your shoulder and it’s not designed to, you need to learn to dress yourself. If the dress you like looks like the quilt in your Grandmother’s spare bedroom, that’s probably where the dress belongs…maybe right next to the platform sneakers. And stop wearing socks with sandals; you’re in America for crying out loud.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…maybe you should write a book?

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Taking the Real Out of Reality

Donn James

I think it’s high time we took a look at the reality of reality TV because it’s really hard to find. If you think those Naked and Afraid contestants are really eating that lizard they caught with a shoelace and a bobby pin, you missed the commercial break where the TV crew set out pudding cups and beef jerky. Man vs Wild is another example because I’d rather watch a rerun of Mr. Ed than watch a guy named Bear smash an animal repeatedly into a tree because he likes his rat tender before he spit-roasts it over a fire he set using elephant dung and dried vomit. I don’t need that when I’m sitting in my recliner with a bowl of Cheetos. As you can see, I’m not talking about so-called talent-based shows but they’re bad enough on their own as half the people auditioning are there singing some Nickleback song because the rest of the choir in their Alabama church convinced them they had a good voice and when they sing someone else’s words, you don’t have to hear them talk. Then you have fake romance shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette and these are just shows where people pretend to fall in love with someone for money and before TV, I think they called that…prostitution.
Another section of reality TV involves people we don’t want to be, didn’t know existed, wouldn’t want as friends and might even cross the street if we saw them on our sidewalk. These are shows like Teen Mom, Hoarders, 16 and Pregnant, Intervention. Some section of this country must achieve some sort of vicarious pleasure in their predicaments but if I was a newborn and 5 years from now when my mother and I were in the same grade in school and we were driven there by my 30-year old grandmother, I would be more concerned with how I was going to pay for therapy. And if you’re a hoarder you should be seeking professional help and not be on my TV trying to explain why you can’t get rid of that box of Twinkies you bought in 1956. The fact that you still have the newspaper and the coupon should be evidence that you need help.
Do we need more shows where we watch people do something they don’t know how to do? We already have Dancing with the Stars. And I don’t need to watch Fear Factor because I have no plans to eat a bowl of buffalo intestines or skydive off my garage hoping my chute will open in time. Worst Cooks, Celebrity Edition is another example of people not knowing what they’re doing but this is the least surprising because we should have learned by now…from TV, that celebrities don’t know how to do anything. Over the years we’ve been shown they can’t dance, they can’t drive or dive, throw or catch a ball so why would we think they can boil water or whisk eggs without pulling a muscle? Most of them should have to pass a test to ride a bike.
Shows like Teen Mom, The Biggest Loser and Intervention might be the most troubling for me as they seem to celebrate, pay and even honor people who have come back from something over which they had some control. While I’m an avid fan of people getting clean, sober and recovering from the ravaging effects of alcohol and drug diseases, I’m not celebrating it until I get my 60 years of never needing rehab pin. And if you’re having a cigarette while studying for mid-terms and you go into labor, I don’t want it on my TV, I don’t want you getting paid and you’re out of the running for Mother of the Year. On The Biggest Loser the “winner” gets $250,000 but we’re still waiting for the show called I Never Got Fat, Where’s My Money?

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what is reality?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Just Doggone Wonderful

Donn James

Most who know me understand that I hate to start this with a disclaimer of any sort and I’m already mad because I feel I have to do this else you think me some sort of heartless monster. While I may be a heartless monster to you, I love dogs and I have 3 dogs and 2 cats who all rescued me, currently in the past 10+ years. To show her love, one of my dogs came up and sat on my head at 3:45 AM today so I know of what I speak. The 5 I have all forced me to pay an outrageous adoption fee and they have been neutered or spayed in the gender-specific manner and all have microchips should anyone be foolish enough to steal them. Tragically, when I saw each of them, stupid Sarah McLachlan songs began to play in my head, I started to cry and I just couldn’t leave them behind. The 3 dogs all sleep with us and take up far more room in a California King than you would expect but Laurie and I manage to carve out a space between legs, noses and tales. On temperate days all 3 dogs love to go in the car which is always outfitted with a week’s supply of water, food and treats as if we’re on our way to a petting zoo. I won’t even vacation in Viet Nam because I don’t want to see dog as a menu item.
That said, I guess I’m old school because I still think there are places dogs shouldn’t go. Disclaimer number 2 is that I’m talking about regular dogs or support dogs, not service animals. Service animals are working and I think they are the real heroes because instead of rolling in the grass or chasing a ball, they’re waiting for the light to change to get their person across the street safely instead of ending up plastered in the grill of a minivan. Service animals are great but I believe approximately 100% of support animals are phony so if you need an emotional or therapy support animal to leave your house…the rest of us don’t think you should be allowed outside.
I suppose we can agree to disagree if you want to be just…wrong but I don’t think dogs belong on planes. If you are anxious when you fly and you aren’t creative enough to con some doctor into a prescription for Percocet or Oxycodone then I have two words for you…road trip. I read that someone wanted to bring their support goat on a plane. What’s next? Is someone going to waddle up to the ticket counter carrying a wicker basket for his support cobra? Let’s put the cobra and goat together and see if everyone remains calm. Oddly, I’m fine with dogs on restaurant patios and even my dogs like to lie outdoors at Starbuck’s, soaking in the sun while I’m soaking in the caffeine but I hate seeing dogs in the mall. They can’t grasp the concept of retail dying, they don’t want to try that new perfume and if you take them into the dressing room while you’re trying on skinny jeans…they can’t unsee that. And why was there a dog in the theater, watching The Book Club with me on Saturday where 4 mature ladies discuss sex for 2 hours? Had your dog previously read the book and wanted to see the film adaptation for comparison or did he just want to see how these 4 movie icons were aging?
So if you need your support Yorkie on your lap to survive a root canal, you have bigger problems than just being a vegan with a gluten allergy.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s your dog’s name?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Is That Your Blood?

Donn James

With every passing day I become more convinced the last couple of generations have executed a disservice to the crowds following them by telling them that they were special or unique. You have buoyed them beyond reality and you have set them up for failure by telling them how wonderful they were even as you watched them eat paste in kindergarten or stuff a Lego up their nose. You told them how good at sports they were and blindly ignored the truth as they tripped over first base or fell on the soccer ball. You lied to them and told them they could be or do anything when it’s just not true. You cheered and applauded Timmy when he said he was going to be a doctor and let someone else do the dirty work later. So Timmy is convinced he can be a doctor but you just saw his test scores and have to tell him, “No, no you’re not.” You’re going to flip burgers with everyone else in Group II. Unique. Yeah, sure you are.
Lately I’ve run into a lot of people from 14-40 and they all look like clones and unique is not an acceptable adjective in this situation although “special” might be. Everybody I see has tried to squeeze into the same skinny jeans and is wearing a scarf for no damned reason. And that’s the men I see. If you can’t leave your house unless you have the perfect number of rings on, you’re not unique, you’re psychotic. Half of you are wearing fedoras and the other half are saving up to buy a fedora; something that has looked good on nobody…ever. Maybe that’s one of the earlier examples of parental defiance…parents spend all this time telling them how unique and special they are and they go out and try to look exactly like everyone else.
Purely in the interest of science I have found and will note three characteristics which make you unique, but not special. When they pull your charred body from the burning wreck because that text was just too important not to read while racing down the road, you will no longer care that your dental records are unique to you. If you accidentally put your hand on the counter while you’re robbing that 7/11, when the police stop by to arrest you, you will learn that your fingerprints are unique to you. As an aside to the previous characteristic, when you’re in prison for the robbery of the above 7/11, you will find the number stenciled on the back of your orange jumpsuit is also unique to you. If you find yourself in the middle of a contentious divorce or a messy breakup or you have lived in Greenland alone in an igloo for the last year while you wrote your memoirs, you may want to, or be court-ordered to, take a paternity test and surprise, surprise; your DNA is unique to you.
The clearest example of how we are not unique or special is that we think we are unique and special but anytime we meet somebody we automatically de-individualize them and put them into a group like, “He’s a hipster or she’s a Goth or…how did that ginger get in here?”

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…who’s your Daddy?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment