Hey, Your Hair is on Fire!

Donn James

I want to wish everyone a happy 4th of July weekend and I thought I’d better do it now in case I come back Wednesday with fewer fingers than required to type. I can barely text now so if all of my fingers melt into a blob because I don’t let go of that M-80 in time, I’m going to have to get better at talking to Siri. Most of us have a four-day weekend coming up because we own or work for progressive, employee-first types of companies who realize that an occasional bonus day off results in better productivity in the long run. If you have to work Monday, your company probably didn’t make the list of Best Places to Work list for 2017.  And if you’re the boss of said company, I’d watch my back because unless your employees have to go through TSA to get to work, they’re probably armed. This extra day goes away next year when the 4th is on a Wednesday and even I won’t give anyone a 5-day weekend.
If you’re thinking of going somewhere with this mini-vacation time, I would rethink that. You certainly can’t go anywhere by car. If you leave now you’ll get there Sunday and have to leave Monday morning to get back to work by Wednesday, so I’m just going to try and find a spot in the house where I can reach the BBQ grill and the remote control…without leaving my chair. I expect I’ll see some fireworks since most of my neighborhood friends have taken the whole “fireworks are illegal” thing more as a random suggestion than as a law and that is why the cul de sac looks like a free fire zone in Baghdad on the 4th. I believe I have friends who get angry if they go out and spend $100 on fireworks and only one person loses a hand. I’ve determined it’s far too easy in California to go somewhere fireworks are legal and bring them back to communities where we’ve wisely made them illegal. I think we’ve just arrived at a point where my friends just don’t think the sanctioned fireworks displays at the golf course, mall or park are deadly enough. I guess it’s just a kind of, “Where’s the fun if everybody lives?” syndrome. And the danger level seems to rise exponentially every year; just like with extreme sports but I think it’s less than a glowing commentary on society that we seem to be hoping for an accident like a bottle rocket taking out your nephew or the cliff diver who mistimes the opening of his parachute so he ends up on the ground looking like an Denver omelet covered by a paper towel.
Ever since our ancestors who were still busy just trying to figure out the whole…walking upright thing when the tall hominoid was hit by lightning and the survivors realized he had discovered fire, we have had a peculiar fascination with fire. And that’s not always a good thing is we have one young man in the neighborhood who is never as happy as he is when he has an acetylene torch in his hands. However, sometime during the evening he will forget the fireworks are designed to go up and he will light several while they’re still lying down so when they go off, they’re shooting down the block like tracer bullets. Let me just say that shrapnel wounds are not uncommon as he lumbers around lighting anything that resembles a fuse. That’s all well and good until you find your shoelace on fire. As my mother used to rhyme, “It’s all fun and games until your cat goes up in flames.”
So please have a happy and safe 4th of July weekend but if you don’t and need help locating a missing finger, give me a call and I’ll come help look for it. I have a flashlight.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…can you have any fun being safe and sane?

 

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

It’s 4:30, Is Dinner Ready?

Donn James

I have friends from Florida and while they couldn’t wait to get out of there, they still think it’s the place to send their parents. That said, from personal experiences and the news, I’ve come to believe that things happen in Florida that don’t happen anywhere in the other 49. Police raided a large Florida retirement community this morning and uncovered a drug operation that had what was described as an abundance of methamphetamine, weapons, ammo, cash and …stolen golf cart parts. Here in California we’re stealing Camry’s, Civics and Corvettes and chopping them up to send the parts around the world. In Florida they’re stealing golf carts and chopping them up to send them around the block. I understand that for many in Florida they are a necessity but here we pay more for mountain bikes than they do for a shopping cart with a battery and AM radio…even if the horn says…Aaoogah!
In many of those retirement communities your golf cart is your only link to the outside world so when 63 of them go missing within a couple of months, the old folks start to take notice. When you use a golf cart just to slide down the driveway to your mailbox, not having it around anymore seems like a crime so these old-timers are irate and asking for the death penalty. Now, while I believe if you live in one of those raisin ranch communities, you’re already on death row and just running through your appeals but if your golf cart is your only lifeline to the early bird dinner at Denny’s, I can see why they might be outraged.
But let’s get back to the alleged masterminds of this criminal enterprise as the questions mount. How did they think they wouldn’t be caught? The four arrested weigh about 112 each and look like they haven’t had a real meal since Christmas while every other old person around them looks they just waddled away from the table after polishing off a Grand Slam breakfast. They stood out like four meth addicts at a Santa Claus convention. In addition, I don’t believe illegal drug sales in a retirement community would be your ideal demographic as I can barely remember to take the drugs legally prescribed to me by a real doctor so how is some old guy supposed to remember that he’s out of meth? And why meth? I would think your target market would pay more dearly for blood pressure medication, nitroglycerin or the latest and greatest in stool softeners. Maybe they just watched a documentary on hiding in plain sight and thought, “That’s the ticket!” I just saw the mug shots of the four people arrested and I can promise you that none of them appears to be any threat to Einstein. Judging from the vacant stares on their fine police-produced portraits I would think they would have to form a committee just to spell, well…meth. And why do you decide to supplement your drug selling business with an illegal chop shop for golf carts? In a 55+ community in Florida I’m sure there’s a better market for hospital beds and tennis ball walkers. Granted, I guess they’re pretty easy to steal since most of them hardly even require a key. Even I can start any one I’ve ever seen in California with a paper clip. And how did they get away with it until now? Are they stealing them in the dead of night by disguising them as BBQs? Actually, during the day they could blend in with the rest of the shopping carts and strollers but it’s not your ideal getaway vehicle so you’d better be pretty sneaky since most of them don’t go faster than the speed of smell. I saw one in Florida once that was being tailed by a turtle and the golf cart driver kept waving his arm and screaming, “Go around!”
I’m sure within a couple of days they’re going to blame it all on the republicans for the cuts to Medicaid while the democrats shoot themselves in the feet again by calling for more stringent warning labels on golf carts.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s on sale today?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

I Believe I’d Like a Nap

Donn James

Sunday is Father’s Day and I would like to wish all my fellow fathers a happy day doing whatever your family has decided will make you happy…which doesn’t make it that much different than the other 364 days. I’m all atwitter waiting to see what color tie I get and I know many of you are looking forward to opening that new 3-pack of boxers or tube socks. We have certainly developed plenty of lame holidays over the years (thanks Hallmark) but Father’s Day belongs near the top of the list as fathers are honored essentially for successfully doing the one thing we think about doing all of the time.
In America, I’ve been around longer than Father’s Day since it only became law in 1972 when Nixon signed the bill. Little did he know the furor caused by this bill would force him to resign in disgrace soon after. People around the country had been lobbying for it for about 100 years but congress, in their traditional lack of wisdom, thought it might become commercialized since every bill they pass becomes nothing more than an excuse for an offensive T-shirt. We already had every man in America rushing to the flower store on Mother’s Day so those in favor of a Father’s Day argued it was only fair for America to make every Mom rush to Home Depot and have them gift wrap a toilet plunger. They picked the 3rd Sunday in June only because June was the only month left without a holiday, basketball and hockey were over and it was beginning to get warm across most of the country and everyone knows…that’s when you need a good plunger.
The idea of Father’s Day has been around a lot longer than America as they used to celebrate it during the middle ages. They would wish the 15-year old fathers a happy Father’s Day as they left for the latest crusade because they knew they were either never going to see 16 or they were going to see the sun in Constantinople and never come back to London. Those that survived the crusade were the original deadbeat dads.
I guess I’ve received my share of ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ stuff over the years but the pessimist in me doesn’t make too much of it because I know my kids’ frame of reference is really quite limited. I suppose I speak for most fathers when I say that fatherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me regardless of all the times I wanted to leave one or all of my children stranded by the side of the road. I’ve tried to be there to get them where they needed to be, tried to teach them, mostly from my mistakes, and they’re now at the age where they’ve learned some of it and ignored most of it. I’ve forgotten to pick them up fewer times than most but it rarely rains here so it’s not like they were standing out in the cold and I’ve done my best to only embarrass them when it’s funny to me. My children have made me the father I am and as the old saying goes…I smile because I’m their father but I laugh because there is nothing they can do about it.
All I’ve really ever done in fatherhood is to make a concentrated effort not to turn into Ozzy Osbourne or Al Bundy. Anything I’ve done as a father in excess of that is just gravy…and probably accidental.

Happy Father’s Day!

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you busy Sunday?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Do I Know You?

Donn James

Over the last few years I have gotten better at using the calendars on my phone, iPad and computer and the reminder feature has been a Godsend because I have them set to remind me the day before and again 30 minutes before the event. I’ve found that with the 30 minute reminder I only forget half the things I’m supposed to do because my memory is just not what it used to be…or needs to be. In the past I would joke when someone would remind me that I forgot something and they would say, “How could you forget that?” I would reply that I can’t even remember breakfast and now…I can’t remember breakfast.
Like many of you I’ve talked about standing in the middle of the garage wondering why I’m there but I’ve taken steps to ease that burden and I now have a routine I run through my mind to trick me into remembering. I start with paper goods: paper towels, Kleenex, toilet tissue, party hats and if that doesn’t flip a light in my brain, I move on to garage refrigerator items: beer, water, watermelon, batteries, pudding pops and it’s usually during this segment I remember I’m supposed to be in the laundry room starting a load of wash. When this isn’t the case my next segment is pet products: dog food, cat food, dog treats, cat treats, stain removers or the hell that is cat litter. My final category, at least so far, is tools: do I need a hammer, screwdriver, table saw or toilet plunger? Finally, a light bulb goes off in my head and I realize I need a…light bulb.
I do want to mention a new phenomenon that has been occurring for me lately so you can commiserate or, at least have something to look forward to. Roughly about half the time now I will hear the microwave “ding” and I will have no idea what I’m cooking. Seriously, I will walk across the kitchen like I’m opening a present on my birthday, wondering what’s in the box. When I open the microwave I will have one of three thoughts; it will either be…Yay! That looks good or…Wow, I totally forgot we had that or…Now, why did I think that would be good right now.
There appears to be something to the belief that men invented instant replay because we already forgot what we just saw as I find myself rewinding more TV shows now and then but I choose to blame my hearing rather than my memory. I still have a great grasp of names and as a friendly, caring individual I find myself reminding others when they can’t remember a name but my problem is while I can remember their name, I can’t remember why I know them. Thankfully, they usually say something stupid and that helps me remember even though they’re someone I would love to forget.
Scientists say there is short-term and long-term memory loss but since I can remember going to McDonald’s when the sign said, “Over 37 Sold” but I can’t remember to tie my shoes, I’m guessing my problem is more short-term. So I went to this meeting about short-term memory loss but when I got there, we had all forgotten why we were there.
Regrettably, we don’t get to choose what we forget any more than we get to choose when we forget it so I rely on a prayer much like alcoholics rely on the Serenity prayer. As I age I call upon the wisdom of the Senility Prayer: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to bump into the ones I do like, and the eyesight to know the difference.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to the summer of 2017 and wish you the best and we have some summer specials if you visit the IMC website. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…how much do you remember?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

I’m Freaking Out!

Donn James

It’s been a freaky week for reporters as they struggled to find another word to describe their redundancy but they need to know you don’t always need an adjective. In any case, you can’t have a freak accident because that is literally the definition of the damned word. An accident is “an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury” so it’s already freaky and you need to stop using it to describe something we already know is freaky and you can go back to using it when you talk about your friends.
While I am usually loathe finding humor in a tragedy, I can’t help it if funny is funny. “Freak” accident #1 this week involved a zookeeper and a tiger in the same cage. Isn’t that pretty much the recipe for an accident? In fact, I think that ventures from the language of accident and right into the realm of probable. This is a giant predator and if you go into his cage, you’d better be carrying a tub of meat that weighs more than you do because your stupid safari hat and those galoshes aren’t going to slow him down. If Siegfried and Roy taught us anything, it’s that tigers are hard to train. Being in the same cage as a tiger is as safe as swimming in the Nile because you just gave the crocodiles a bucket of KFC. “Freak” accident #2 featured a car accident in southern California and this automatically undercuts the word “freak.” We have 13 million people and 20 million cars around here and you can’t drive for more than 8 minutes without seeing some sort of an accident so the use of the term “freak accident” demeans us and makes you look stupid. So the fact that a trailer became unhinged, crossed into oncoming lanes and took out an SUV doesn’t make it freaky…around here it doesn’t even make it unusual for us. We’re supposed to be downsizing anyway…right?
I blame the drive for sensationalism on the media in their quest for more readers, viewers and advertising dollars and it’s all about the headline, trying to get you to read on, click like, make a comment etc. and all it has done is dumb this nation down so now we’re nearly as smart as a mushroom. If we were smarter with our words, we’d be smarter as a people. Just today the headline was “Trump Blasted as Reckless” and all someone did was call him reckless. You can’t blast someone with the word “reckless.” Even if we agree that he is reckless…and we probably do, it’s far too ambiguous a word to be blasted. That’s like me blasting you by calling you…tall. There are just too many gradations i.e. it is one thing to be reckless with your birth control but it’s probably not as bad as being reckless with your atomic bomb.
I blame euphemisms for the rise in these hyperbolic adjectives and I understand euphemisms because now anyone with an agenda tries to change the name every now and then in an effort to stay relevant. 40 years ago we had unusually hot spells, 20 years ago we had global warming and today we have climate change…same thing, different generation. In his lifetime my Grandpa went from being crippled to handicapped to physically challenged to differentially-abled yet he remained the same cranky old guy.
My last thought on choosing our words more carefully is that every time any sort of celebrity dies, someone will say they will be “Gone but not forgotten,” yet every year when I watch In Memorium during the Oscars, there are several times when I say, “Wow, I totally forgot he died”…so it’s not always working.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…was that an accident?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

This Party is Out of Hip.

Donn James

We had a going away/surprise/any excuse for a party function at the offices yesterday that I missed. It wasn’t a surprise that I missed it as apparently I’m too much of a party animal so they’ve taken to holding these on Thursday afternoons when they know I’ll be gone and oddly, I can’t even argue with their logic. I would certainly question the integrity of any party to which I’m invited.
And just to prove that no occasion to party is beneath us, the soiree was for a young man limping off to have a hip replaced. Until now I thought the party we had for him a couple of years ago when he left to have a knee replaced was the real low point. I don’t know how many of these I can miss but if he keeps coming apart like a five dollar watch, we’re going to need more paper plates. When did we become a society so out of things to do that we’ve begun to celebrate hospital stays? It’s bad enough we celebrate Talk like a Pirate day; do I now have to bake a cake every time someone breaks a nail? I’m having a colonoscopy next week but I don’t expect to see any balloons or glitter although when I wake up…somebody better have a cookie or be ready to live with the consequences.
Make no mistake…he needs this surgery and thankfully his body is still under warranty so he has to get it done now before he exceeds the mile limit. I can hear him walking up the stairs now and he sounds just like the burro I rode in the Grand Canyon. Seriously, right now he couldn’t sneak up on Helen Keller. After this surgery he can’t take stairs for a while and he’ll have to take his medical records every time he flies because when he limps through an airport scanner, it will go off like a Geiger counter in Chernobyl. On the plus side, he’s looking forward to the full-body pat down.
I’m told the event itself was a spectacle of hot dogs, popcorn and sugar…the trifecta of cholesterol hell. Many in the crowd thought he teared up when surprised by everyone. In reality, he teared up because in an embarrassing lack of sensitivity, he was now upstairs and they decided to have the function downstairs so while the thought of having to negotiate 21 stairs for a hot dog would have brought tears to the eyes of many a hardy soul, even more so for a guy who already walks like Yoda. I’ve included a shot of the dessert table just to demonstrate the economical attitude of my co-workers who plied him with sugar thinking, “You’re going to be in the hospital anyway. They can treat you for diabetes at the same time.”
Everyone did band together and get him a walker which will be of no value on the stairs except to give him something else to carry and I donated the tennis balls for it…just in case our insurance doesn’t cover them. They also got him the game Operation but since he’s having it done at the VA, I think he’s going to use it to test the doctors before they do the real thing because I know the guy who was the real life model for the game and the doctors usually scraped the edges when they were pulling parts out of him. In fact, the last time they successfully removed his elbow, his spleen gave them a standing ovation.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s your recovery time?

Posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales | Leave a comment

Alien Visitors Beware

Donn James

Our daughter’s boyfriend is coming for a visit next week so I’ve been given a list of cleaning chores long enough to put Cinderella in a coma. The house is never too bad but now that we have “company” coming, I will be expected to use my toothbrush to clean the grout between the tiles on the kitchen floor for someone who grew up in Texas, probably on a dirt floor. I will also have to polish the wood floors to an extent that when one of the dogs runs in, they will slip and slide until they face-plant into a wall…and then I’ll have to clean the wall.
In truth, most of the things I will do are things we do every weekend just to stay on top of stuff but now instead of having the bathroom bowls just clean, I’ll have to have them clean enough to cook soup in. The hardest part of cleaning is just picking up all the cat and dog toys that litter every room in the house. This is the area in which they most resemble children in that they get everything out, play with it for three minutes and absolutely refuse to put anything away. Every week I put the big dog in charge of the other dogs and cats and I tell him I want everything back in the toy boxes by the time I get back from Costco and though it may surprise you, when I get home…nothing has been done. It’s like having five teenagers because the three dogs are pretending they didn’t hear me and the two cats are just holding me in disregard and gazing on me with contempt. So it’s clear I will not be getting a lot of cooperation from them but they did get together and agree not to shed for a week, so I won’t have to vacuum as often but after he leaves I’m sure the house will again look like a sheep-shearing station in Australia. By the way, the dogs are all afraid of the vacuum. Laurie believes it’s because of the noise but I’m convinced they run because they think I’m going to make them do it since every time I vacuum I pull up enough hair to knit a blanket for Wyoming.
Now, I want to make a good impression as this will be our first meeting so I expect I’ll be advised to wear something above and beyond t-shirts and boxers as, I’m told, it’s important to make a good first impression. That said, I’ve been the subject and object of more first impressions than most people and have usually found them to be almost universally wrong. I’ve actually had people tell me they didn’t like me when we first met and I just dismiss them as idiots because I can’t relate to that at all. There’s an old saying that “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression” and that’s just blatantly false. Most of you don’t have that many friends so I’ve had lots of chances. I’m kind of like the wine that nobody wants to admit is just awful so they fall back on the banal cliché of, “it’s an acquired taste.” What that really means is that it’s crap but if you drink enough of it, you’ll forget how crappy it is. So now I think I’m going to start introducing myself by saying, “Hi, I’m Donn. I’m an acquired taste” so I won’t be setting the bar too high.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…are you receiving guests?

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