Where Did I Put That…?

Donn James Ho-Ho-Ho

Since this is the season we all pretend to be nice to one another…well, not me because I’m quite sincere when I wish you the happiest of holidays and the best in 2012 but I’d turn a cautious ear if you hear it from anyone else.  So, it’s December 23^rd and it’s the last day I have until I’m forced to go Christmas shopping tomorrow.  In what appears to be another gender-based inequity, it seems more guys wait until the last minute than do women.  My wife does her Christmas shopping here and there all during the year and is always trumpeting the savings made by using this approach while I limit the pain of shopping to a couple of hours Christmas Eve.  My theory is that although I do not save any money on purchases; I also don’t have time to lose anything… because every July we find something in the garage or closet that was intended to be a present at some Christmas or Hanukkah long past.  This year it was a grocery sack full of Hanukkah pastas (little shapes like stars of David, menorahs and dreidls…cute huh?)  that we believe was intended to be a present in 2007.  And since it was whole grain and fresh, it had the shelf life of a blink so those savings went straight into the trash, although I was sorely tempted to harvest the mold and make my own penicillin.  Another year we found a bag of baby clothes and realized the baby for whom the clothes were bought was now tying his own shoes, playing the sax and had just stolen his first car.  Maybe it’s just a function of age but if you remember when you had to hide presents so your kids wouldn’t find them before Christmas, it’s actually quite painful to realize you now have to hide things where you can find them.

It’s not really that different in business.  For every client you have that says, “No hurry, the event isn’t until May,” you probably have ten that don’t understand why their order, which includes two location sandblasting, personalization, color fill and a custom insert, isn’t going to be ready on Tuesday.  With IMC’s six collections and thirty-one retail brands, we have production times from twenty-four hours to twenty-four days so you can always find something that fits your client’s time frame.  And we’re always happy to offer ideas, provide case histories and give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to hear from you.  And again, we wish the best for the holiday season and 2012.

Is That Left Over or a Leftover?

Donn James

In the misguided belief that bringing my lunch occasionally would help me eat healthier, well, I occasionally bring my lunch.  So, I just finished 2 beef ribs the size of boomerangs, enough macaroni and cheese to caulk the tile in my bathroom and sweet potato fries…because they’re healthier than regular potatoes.  Just point me to the scale so I can see how much weight I’ve lost.  Never mind that I just consumed around 13,000 calories and, oh yeah, what’s the medical community call beef ribs?  That’s right…heart attack on a stick.  Now I’m clogged up and bound up so maybe foraging around in my fridge is not particularly heart-healthy for me but I have learned, through experimenting, that certain foods mix reasonably well.  We all know celery works well with peanut butter, cream cheese, cheese whiz, any cheese by the way, but did you know it also adds a little texture if you dip it into gravy or cranberry sauce.  Just a little holiday leftover tip for you.  Not surprisingly, during my fridge foray I will often come upon a vegetable because we don’t like to throw them out even though no one ever eats leftover vegetables and since everyone has a cupboard dedicated to Tupperware, we generally save them just to throw them away a week later.  I have since learned a Brussels sprout is almost digestible if you wrap it in bacon.  If you think about it, all recipes began with a guess or at least a hope and a prayer.  When two cavemen found mushrooms years ago, one would be fine sautéing them with saber-toothed tiger and the other would be in convulsions because his were less than edible.  It was all about trial and error but these missteps led to some of the great recipes we have today like steak au poivre and deep-fried Twinkies.  So why should leftovers be any different.  You may see pickles and caramel sauce but I see dessert.

It’s not really that different in business.  You are always asked to find something new and different and you should stop offering your customers leftovers.  IMC has 31 retail brands, including 8 that will debut in January that offer unique and unusual new products to the promotional products industry.  Take a look at our new clocks from Nanda Home or the new umbrellas from Blunt.  And we’re always happy to offer ideas, provide case histories and give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to hear from you.

We’re Not Late

Donn James

I have, amazingly enough, been part of a couple for several decades now and have also viewed a myriad of relationships over the years and have discovered one irrefutable fact…one of the couple is always the late one.  Whether it’s an appointment, a party with his/her/their friends, holiday, wedding or funeral, they assume time is standing still while they prepare.  My argument falls on deaf ears as I ask, “Why offer to bring appetizers if we’re going to be this late?”  I probably don’t speak for everyone but I hate walking in with a tray of “pigs in a blanket” when everyone there is eating cake.  While I hesitate to lay blame anywhere, let me tell you…it’s not me.  I’m the guy who has taken the dogs out, turned off the dryer and has been standing by the front door with car keys in my hand for twenty minutes.  All this brings me to this Saturday past when we were, for us, very nearly on time for a funeral service.  Considering it was less than 4 miles and supposed to take 8 minutes or less, we were in great shape.  As a male, I was even moderately offended that my wife insisted I Google map our destination.  Remember, less than 4 miles in an area we have lived for 21 years.  And I will even admit to a certain amount of blame as I, in true stereotypical male fashion, left the directions to the church on the kitchen counter.  As we pulled into a decidedly deserted parking lot, I alternately thought my friend died friendless or we’re in the wrong place, we began to believe something was amiss.  After entering an empty church my wife opened her phone to check her email only to find out the service is November 27^th.  After sharing a laugh, my wife opined that since we were two weeks early, this has to count as being on time.  Knowing when to pick my battles kept me silent because when we’re late on the 27^th, it will just cancel it out anyway.  Does this strike a chord with you?  Be honest and send us a comment.  Are you the person by the door or are you the one with outfits laying on the bed going eeny, meeny, miney, moe?  Or deciding now is the best time to change the batteries in the smoke detectors?

It’s not really that different in business.  Many of your promotional product buys are event-driven and therefore time sensitive.  You need to be able to trust your suppliers to deliver on time.  At IMC we have six collections and in 2012, we will continue to have more retail brands than any promotional product supplier in the industry with delivery times from 24 hours to 14 days.  If you’re in a hurry we have thousands of items our in-house decoration can deliver quickly but if you plan ahead, we have thousands more we can deliver on time and maybe even save you some money.  And we’re always happy to offer ideas and provide case histories to give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to hear from you.

Smart and Dumber

Donn James

So, as gas prices rise I’m seeing more and more Smart Cars on the roads here in southern California and I’m thinking, “That’s really dumb.”  I know somebody has to be the bellwether of ecology but in a land where every other car is a limo, Hummer or Escalade, tooling around our freeways at 75 in a Tonka Toy may be an example of misplaced ideology.  I mean, Wilbur and Orville were about 8 feet off the ground traveling about the speed of smell and would have escaped with field rash and a bruise but if your not-so-Smart Car takes on an 18-wheeler, there won’t be enough left to fill my carry-on bag.  How about this for a rule:  if you won’t let your Chihuahua loose in the big dog section of the dog park, keep your grocery cart off my freeway.  I’ve long believed that, as Californians, we are doing our very best to vacillate between saving and destroying the planet at the same time.  How else can you explain the fact that I have to check every piece of trash I have for the elusive recycle stamp to ensure it goes into the correct container or I get my hand slapped by the garbage police but if I were able to carry a fetus, I could use the carpool lane?  I suppose being first involves some inherent risks but I wouldn’t have been the guy that looked at an oyster and said, “That looks like food, let’s eat it.”  I will take risks but from a more cautious stance.  For example, I will dive into the lake from almost any height but only after I’ve checked to make sure I’m not going to land on a submarine 4 feet below the surface.  So, I’m ready to go electric but I’ll opt for something larger than a bumper car at the fair just to have a fighting chance.

It’s not really that different in business.  You want to be first with new products and services whenever you can.  IMC was among the first to bring retail brands to the promotional product industry with Waterford and MoMA more than 10 years ago, and for 2012 we continue to add unique, exclusive brands for your client promotions as we increase our retail brand selection to more than 25 lines.  To get a sneak peek for 2012 look to Blunt for fine umbrellas or Nanda Home for unusual clocks.  And we’re always happy to offer ideas and provide case histories to give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to hear from you.

That’ll Leave a Mark

Donn James

If you weren’t in the area to hear the ambulance arrive or depart, let me bring you up to speed.  A member of the IMC family…for privacy’s sake I’ll call her Audrey, was injured at her daughter’s birthday party.  This is a clear violation of, I think,  parenting rule #3 which reads, and I’m paraphrasing, “Your child is 5…you’re not!”  In this case the subtext read, “Don’t get on that trampoline.”  So, after surgery she will have some time for office work and her clients can expect some sales calls via Skype or the phone for a while, and the rest of us can make jokes at her expense…as is only natural.  And now that the truth is out, she can expect the workmen’s comp claim to be denied.  Please pause your laughter long enough to wish her a speedy recovery as I do.  The bigger issue is that even as we watch a YouTube clip of some old geezer towing an airplane with his teeth;  most of us, as we age, put certain things aside in lieu of other, sometimes safer, activities.  I don’t go mountain biking with my son because he goes up and over them and I consider myself off-road when I turn into my driveway.  And I’ve given up my dream of swimming the English Channel, not that I couldn’t do it…though I couldn’t, but a few laps in the pool is just more convenient these days.  I’ve had the opportunity to watch the bulls run in Pamplona but never participated; instead, I have my dog tackle me occasionally between the couch and the TV.  I’m pretty sure it’s the same feeling.

It’s not really that different in business.  You do what you can and without due diligence and planning, you don’t try and do what you don’t do.  At IMC, we do brands so if you’re looking for something exclusive, unusual or unique, check out some of our brands like Fred & Friends, Umbra or Kikkerland.  And we’re always happy to offer ideas and provide case histories to give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.

If you would like to send Audrey your wishes for a speedy recovery or just laugh at her, please leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter and I will pass it on.  IMC wants to hear from you.

 

Road Trip

Donn James

I was away last week for a short trip and it reminded me why I love southern California.  I know we quake and shudder at the thought of our taxes and traffic but I’ve loved it since I left the northwest after college because I was tired of playing golf in the rain.  I know Minnesotans who love their state because of the seasons and they can drive a few hours north to Canada and hear a completely different language.  Well, in Los Angeles I can do that in 20 minutes and, for that matter, all New Yorkers have to do is cross the bridge into New Jersey so it’s not that big a deal.  The key is that every place has something to offer and if what you like outweighs what you don’t like, well….you’re home.  Here’s a quick recap of my trip.  I left the ocean in the morning and within 2 hours I was in the high desert.  2 hours later I was in the low desert and 2 hours after that I was in a beautiful evergreen forest at 7000 feet.  Want the temperatures?  62, door to hell, hell, 62.  If you are not familiar with the desert you may be shocked to hear that people actually live there, and tout its benefits.  These people are in need of psychiatric help.  I had an acquaintance who was retiring to Needles, CA (Mojave Desert) and told a friend we should visit because there was a nice golf course.  My friend replied, “Steve, if I’m ever in Needles, call the FAA because my plane has just crashed.”  I echo that sentiment and I think they only tout it as a great retirement community because your body decomposes faster in the heat.  I know this for sure…if my kids try and shuttle me off to some raisin ranch in Needles, I’m changing my will.

Just like your locale should match your personality, we’ve talked about tailoring your presentations to fit your client or their project. We have Visconti® and Waterford® pens that make beautiful speaker or graduation gifts but we don’t expect you to buy 500 of them to give away at the launch of a new ice cream flavor.  Although we’d be thrilled if you did.  At IMC we’re always happy to offer ideas and provide case histories to give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  What do you think? IMC wants to hear about it.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.

 

Mixed Messages

Donn James

So, it’s Friday and weird things happen on Friday. A company-wide email just came from Michele, our intrepid receptionist, announcing that a pair of reading glasses had been found outside the front door. Thankfully, I had my glasses on so I could read the message but what about the person who dropped the glasses? How would they know? Would we have been better served with Michele wandering the halls periodically shouting, “Who lost their glasses?” Even though our company email is our most efficient way of contact, I think it’s important to use the right medium for your message.  Probably why you don’t see PETA setting up an information booth at a North Dallas BBQ or have an anti-war demonstrator for a keynote speaker at West Point.  Smart campaigns get it and others don’t. You’re not going to find Marlboro handing out free samples at A Race for the Cure rally or Rolex advertising in Teen Digest. Yet despite being on every Do-Not-Call list in America, I received a call the other night from a company trying to sell me hearing aids. After abruptly hanging up on him I thought this. is. just. wrong. If I can hear the phone ring and hear his pitch, well…I’m guessing my hearing is OK. And today there’s a picture on the internet of a Irish guy caught trying to smuggle 21 bags of cocaine he had swallowed. Clearly he didn’t take the time to stop and think…might there be a better way? Like maybe using a lead box and claiming they’re a relative’s ashes and you’re sending them home to Ireland to be scattered over the Guinness factory.

It’s not that different in business. As a distributor, you tailor your presentations to fit your client or their project. I expect you’d rarely propose that DKNY incorporate a foam finger as a promotional product or pitch a Tiffany bracelet to Budweiser. At IMC we’re always happy to offer ideas and provide case histories to give you ideas of what and how to promote our products.  We can hear so we’re only a phone call away and we can read so send us your query via email. And if you have a sticker on the back of your car that says, If You Can Read This, You’re Too Close …please take it off because this is how close I had to get to read it.  What do you think? IMC wants to hear about it.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.

Blink of an Eye

Donn James

Has technology made your life easier, harder or are you so clueless as not to be able to tell the difference?  We now have cars that park themselves… once you navigate through a myriad of computer screens that tell your car what to do.  It will get easier but now you’d probably be safer landing a seaplane in a Kansas cornfield.  Half the cars you see now have some sort of blinker light on your side mirrors.  The dealers try and tell you it makes it easier to see from the side, but let’s call them what they really are…Idiot Blinkers.  I was behind a guy this morning on the freeway that had his blinker on for who knows how long because as soon as I realized he wasn’t moving into the left lane, I passed him…quickly, just in case I was wrong.  I was shocked to see he had an idiot blinker and I need to paint a brief picture so you get the real story.  It was still dark out and his idiot blinker is strobing out a light that can be seen from the space station, yet he’s oblivious from three feet away.  Come on, we’re talking about a blinking blaze of light that can cause a migraine in two minutes.  When you turn your blinker on the only thing they could do to make it even easier is instead of hearing click, clack, click, clack, click, clack you had a repeating voice message that said, your …blinker …is …on …meathead.  We’ve all done it but you don’t want to be the guy that turns right to get on the I-5 in Seattle and his blinker is still on as he waits in line to cross the border to Tijuana.

As a business, technology has made it easier for us but as a supplier or distributor you need to achieve a balance between man and machine.  At IMC we take advantage of Social Media to engage and interact with friends, associates and clients and we use business software to make us more efficient, less prone to error and to help keep prices down.  So you can place an order without ever talking to a human but we’re only a phone call away if you ever need to talk and believe me, our CSRs love to talk so take advantage of our friendly voices.  What do you think?  Have you achieved the balance you want?  IMC wants to hear about it.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.

Some Timely Advice

Donn James

I’m sure you’ve looked at something and questioned the timing of it.  Like why Valentine’s Day is in February when you’re still reeling from the effects of Christmas.  It should be in August when nothing happens and you might have some control over the credit card balances.  And why do Chanukah and Easter keep moving?  They’re like the cruise ships of holidays.  I started thinking about this because my local Costco has decided the 2 shopping days before the Labor Day weekend would be the best time to re-stripe its parking lot.  So now they have 3000 cars playing a seriously disturbed game of musical chairs for 300 spaces.  I’m circling the parking lot like an airliner in Die Hard 2 hoping I find a spot before I run out of fuel.  I passed a guy in a car with a blue crayon trying to make a fake handicapped sticker.  Regardless of Costco’s marketing genius, you have to admit it the guy who put this project on his calendar was no threat to Einstein.  But he’s not alone because it was probably his brother who decided the first day of school was a good time to re-pave the primary road to our high school.  As if you needed another reason not to marry your cousin.  So now this road, which not only is the only access to the high school but also feeds to the junior high and 2 of the 3 elementary schools in the district, is down to 1 lane, crippled by now mistimed lights, poor and impatient drivers, a slovenly road crew and the closure of the associated turn lanes.  I’m in this line and my daughter wants to get out and walk and I’d let her except I want her to stay and suffer with me.  1^st period teachers were left talking to a bunch of empty desks.

As a supplier or distributor you need to calendar your promotions so they are timely.  You should know the key dates and events of your clients and community.  The 4^th of July is always then and Breast Cancer Awareness month is always October so plan accordingly to make the best use of sales opportunities.  If you don’t you’ll be trying to sell that American flag paperweight at Thanksgiving.  What do you think?  IMC wants to hear it.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.

 

Rules? What Rules?

My nephew, the 7-year old you may remember as Dynamite Boy, broke his 5-

Donn James

year old sister’s nose last week playing a “harmless” game of stick fight.  While this was reportedly not on his Mother’s list of approved play activities, occasionally kids will be kids and the best you can hope for is survival.  According to him the game was her idea and she was armed with an eight inch plastic princess wand and he said, and I quote, “She didn’t say it wasn’t fair to use the bat.”  Apparently, the 5-year old hasn’t learned the importance of Fine Print.  And while we’re on the subject of stupid activities, let’s talk about on-site weathercasters.  I’m afraid some of these people are just too dumb to live.  I realize most of them were communications majors and that, in college-speak, means they didn’t have to take any classes that required them to think but why, for a minute on camera, will they go anywhere the producer, who by the way is usually sitting in a warm studio, tells them to go.  This weekend we were inundated with images of these boneheads standing out in the wind and rain describing, poorly I might add, the progression of Hurricane Irene and shortly, as fire season heats up on the left coast, we will have them standing next to a burning fence as they describe a barn going up in flames.  I’m certain someone has easily sold them on the absurd idea that this is important but the majority of us are only watching with the hope that one of them will get blown into the next county or have their hair catch on fire.  While the 5-year old may have been remiss in setting the ground rules for the stick fight, I guarantee if I told her, “There’s a thunderstorm coming.  Go stand in that cornfield with an open umbrella” she’d smack me with her wand.  But if I gave the same command to the talking heads we see on TV, I’d need a bus to get them all there.

As a supplier or distributor you should know the ground rules going into the game and know what you’re willing to give up, add in or take away from the deal because if someone says they’ll do it for you, at some point they’ll do it to you.  While everyone wants the order, ensuring the order is fair for both sides should be your goal for a long-term relationship.  And remember to keep your Fine Print honest and accurate or your hair will mysteriously catch on fire.  What do you think?  IMC wants to hear it.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.