While I am a proponent of free speech, we should start considering handing out some jail sentences or medication for stupidity because we clearly have an abundance of people whose actions leave much to be desired. This is certainly not a job for Congress but some smart people should get together and stop making stupidity a virtue. Someone had the unmitigated gall to post an article on the internet last week about the “30 Best Recipes for Kale.” I have made my position clear, concise and correct in the past so unless Step 1 of each recipe is “Replace kale with bacon” you should, at least, be subject to a fine. But hey…it’s a free country. Have you ever noticed that anytime someone says that, they’re about to do something crappy? Nobody holds the door open for you and says that; it’s usually just after they run over your foot that you hear, “Hey, it’s a free country.” I’m happy for the freedoms I have to say the things I do but nowhere in the Bill of Rights have I found the right to abandon common decency. The other day I saw a bald old man wearing socks with Crocs, cargo shorts and an untucked Hurley T-shirt and this multitude of offenses was initially too much for my brain to comprehend and I may have suffered a small stroke. When I recovered I mentally listed the issues. If you are out of high school or have your GED, that Hurley shirt should only be a rag in your garage you use to polish the headlights on your VW bus. And tuck your shirt in. I, like many men, easily have an extra 10 or 40 pounds I could discard but I can still manage to put my shirt where it belongs so stop wearing your shirts billowing out like they were a roof and you were trying to keep your butt dry. And Crocs with socks? Were you born in Berlin? At any age you should burn, or technically melt, those Crocs into a puddle of rubber and use it to stormproof your windows this winter. If this weren’t a free country we could easily ban the sale of cargo shorts to people over the age of 12 since that should be the cutoff. They were invented for kids who wanted to carry around rocks and frogs. You’re an adult for crying out loud and likely have nothing of import to carry around anyway. If you must, buy a Schwinn with a front basket because you’ll incur the same abuse. If you’d like I’d be happy to write this all out on a sign for everyone but I won’t write it in cursive because nobody can read cursive anymore and my high school students can’t even spell it. I’m not one of those who believe the demise of cursive in schools has given rise to alcoholism and the prison population and, in fact, I really don’t miss it at all even though it is a pleasure to read. I stopped using it because I’m left-handed and every line I wrote ended up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting and now if I have to write a note; I print it and tell everyone my ink lasts longer if I lift it off the page after every letter. We all use our phones and email for messaging so if you like cursive, just grab a cursive font and everybody young will just think it’s an unbreakable code. And if you have a problem with anyone about that just tell them what I do, “Hey, it’s a free country” and if they still have an issue with it you can always say, “You can’t fix stupid.”
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. And the IMC 2018.5 flyer is out and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is this easy to read?