I’m quickly learning that having a new baby around but not in my house is really the best of all possible worlds because I can cry myself to sleep without being disturbed by a baby crying me awake and I don’t have to hide the dog food until he starts crawling. People in the previous generation were always telling me this was the best of times but they were the same people who told me bacon was healthy, cigarettes were good for the throat, the Earth was flat and a weekly leeching will cure anything; so their track record with the truth has been spotty at best.
So now I’m looking forward to filling the little guy full of sugar and sending him home or taking him to a political rally for someone his parents hate. And I’m sure someday I’ll prop him up on my knee and attempt to explain life before cell phones, flying cars and Google. I can hardly wait to tell him little boys and girls used to have to traipse through the woods dodging wolves and evil witches to get to Grandma’s house and now you pull up in an SUV. Certainly there will come a time when my grandchild will think I’m the oldest thing in the world and after a couple of hours with him…I’ll probably believe it too. When I look at him now I can already see the family resemblance and when he is older, I’ll delight in telling him how much alike we were when he was a baby because we both had no teeth, no hair and we were never sure when we wet our pants. I fully expect to begin talking in the third person, as in, “That’s not the way we do things at Grandma’s” or “Take that diaper off your head at Grandma’s.” I also expect to begin liking things I never enjoyed if that is what my grandchild likes so when he falls in love with ballet, I’ll brush up on my Baryshnikov and pretend to love it.
He has just this week started spending time on his tummy in order to strengthen his neck and back muscles and the “everybody’s an expert” bloggers call it “tummy-time.” I know babies will roll over when they figure it out but the latest craze is to do it for them and these idiots scare new mothers by telling them if they don’t do it early, they will end up with an 8-year old yelling, “Mommy, come roll me over.”
I do delight in holding him every now and then and am eager to see him grow, learn and develop into the man I know he can be but when I hold him I can’t help but remember something I learned long ago. I did not invent this and if my memory was what it needed to be, I would certainly give credit to the original author for the following: Do you realize that a baby is the only thing that comes out of someone else’s body that other people want to hold? You never hear anyone say, “Can I hold that snot?” or “I’d love to pick up that vomit.” Most things that come out of a person’s body can’t be disposed of fast enough but a baby and everyone is all “Isn’t he beautiful” and “coochie-coo.” Everybody wants to hold the baby without regard for his origin but I have a little gas and everyone is spraying the house with Lysol and looking for a surgical mask. And nobody takes their dog for a walk so they can say “coochie-coo” to a plastic bag headed for the dumpster.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. And the IMC 2018.5 flyer is out and you can see those new products on our website and download a copy of the flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…which way to Grandma’s house?