We are 60 days out from adding a new member in the family and, while excited about the addition, I am tired of looking at baby clothes. The thing is, these days they are not baby clothes and instead they are adult clothes sized down as if to fit a garden gnome, while I’m all for letting the little guy run around in a diaper until he’s old enough to look through the J Crew catalog and pick his own outfits.
I find it odd that we think we can hurry the zygote through childhood by dressing him in overalls like he just came in from plowing the back 40. And what’s with all the pockets in kid’s clothing? In California about the only thing a baby has is a cell phone and none of the pockets are big enough for that. As babies, the only other thing they have a rudimentary working knowledge of is a bottle and that won’t fit either. What they really need is one of those beer guzzler hardhats with a bottle of milk in it and a hose that comes down to their mouth. That way they’d get nourishment and strengthen their neck muscles so they’re able to turn their heads and that will come in handy for watching tennis on TV. When they achieve a certain age I suppose they could carry around an emergency supply of Cheerios but the first time they get hugged, all they’re going to have in their pocket is a pile of oat dust. Babies can’t reach the doorknob and wouldn’t know how to work it if they could so they certainly don’t need a house key in their pocket. I guess if you put the baby in jeans the front pockets are big enough for a small switchblade…or a set of lock picks if you’re raising a cat burglar. The other odd thing about baby jeans is they have the bottoms turned so the jeans have cuffs. The kid has been two places…in a crib and a car seat and you’re worried that he might trip.
The fact the kid can’t walk brings up another bone of contention and that is baby shoes. Did you know you can buy Converse Chuck Taylors for your baby…as if he’s going to play a little one-on-one against the zygote next door? He can’t even walk. Kenneth Cole makes a baby boat shoe so you don’t have to worry about him slipping when he’s out drinking on that party boat. And Ralph Lauren even makes a suede oxford, apparently so he’s dressed like he just left a meeting with his financial advisor when he throws up on Daddy’s shoulder. To add to the madness Timberland has a full line of boots for babies. The kid lives on a blanket in the living room and you have him dressed like he’s ready to scale Mt Whitney. I can only imagine that your kid is thinking, “I don’t even know how to roll over but let’s go on a hike.”
I was going to leave hats out of this but I’m afraid of what you parents will do so I’ll just mention a couple of things. I’m all for protecting the fair skin and even though you don’t need to have a license to have a child although you should, you have an obligation to keep the kid out of emergency rooms to the best of your ability but remember…nobody looks good in a fedora…not your baby, not Pharrell, not Taylor Swift. Just get the kid a simple bucket hat; it will cover their head and they’ll be fine since they don’t know what’s going on around them anyway but stay away from the Hogan caps…you’re not raising a Scottish sheep farmer.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what are you wearing?
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