I just found out that today is National Paul Bunyan and Babe Day and I’d like to salute them and pay a special homage to Babe…America’s first support animal. Babe went everywhere with Paul, protected him from liberals who didn’t like lumberjacks and thanks to the good work of Paul and Babe, we get to live indoors, write long letters and wipe ourselves. I probably wouldn’t even mind if they wanted to stroll through our mall…as long as Babe was on a leash. That said, I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like people invading my space with their support animals so if you can’t maneuver in the world without carrying around a support Chihuahua, you should be micro-chipped so we know where you are and can avoid you like we avoid most of our relatives. One of our three dogs has some Chihuahua in him and he’s noticeably lacking in the support department and completely missing in the guard dog department. Oh, he’s a cuddler of course but he’s certainly not going to be whispering, “Everything will be OK” in your ear while you’re perilously navigating the aisles at Forever 21. Our dog Cooper is some sort of Chihuahua/Jack Russell terrier/Bat mix and he’s fearless when he’s up against the doorbell but when the door opens, he turns into the biggest coward in the county in that he’s less of an attack dog and more of a ‘panic attack’ dog. He’s cool around the family but if he meets someone new, he pees on himself like someone is holding a knife to his throat. Not a lot of support there.
For generations I have heard people complain about how and what they eat when they’re depressed, sad, lost, melancholy or even just hungry and I think we need to see it in a different light and change the common attitude about food so I think instead of support animals…we should have support food. You want to carry your dog around the mall in your purse? Here, carry this lasagna. And if you’re such a lightweight you couldn’t wrangle a Percocet for your 1-hour flight to Vegas and feel disposed to drag along your support guinea pig, your fellow passengers would be more comfortable if you were just carrying an eggplant. If you can’t tolerate that root canal unless you have your support gerbil sitting on your stomach, please consider a chicken strip and the twilight sleep…it will still hurt be at least you’ll be entertaining.
Since we’re on the subject of food and live in the heaviest nation on earth even as I write, last week I wrote about laws and how the left seems to want a law for everything and the right doesn’t want a law for anything, I thought I’d mention something that has, to date, fallen through the cracks. I believe most of the warning labels are stupid and if can’t figure out that peanut contain peanuts, you were probably home-schooled by a rock and have trouble using a phone but when we could do the populace some good, we drop the ball. I’m fine with the tobacco and alcohol warnings as they may save some lives but we continue to ignore the greatest threat to Americans…the all you can eat buffet. Where’s that warning label? The mac & cheese at every buffet in America has killed more people than the plague and I don’t think a simple warning label is too much to ask. It could be something simple and gentle like…You’d be safer sticking your head in the stove at home.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 60 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2018 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We hope we had a chance to meet in Las Vegas and you had a chance to meet some of our wonderful retail partners from MoMA, Areaware, Blunt, Kikkerland, Magisso, HydAway and Dynomighty. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2018 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2018 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…have you gone to the dogs?