So it’s like I’m sitting here in an oven that is pre-heating. I’m relatively safe but I can’t seem to go in any direction that doesn’t take me into the fire so I’m starting to feel like a turkey I just put in the smoker…it’s all indirect heat but I’m cooking nonetheless. What’s odd is that so many people are shocked as if this doesn’t happen to some degree every year about this time though I will admit this is a particularly bad year. Let’s see, it’s now December, it hasn’t rained since February and humidity is hovering around 8% which means if you want fresh water you have to drive to Oregon so I don’t know what people expect. It’s so dry out today you could start a fire just by putting jalapenos on your burger and when you combine that with what they’re calling hurricane-force winds, it’s not that outrageous to see the fires spread. Imagine the big bad wolf trying to blow your house down and then the Human Torch flies through your living room.
On the news they always talk about how much of any fire is contained and they always say it as a percentage as if they did the math. Imagine a pie…just one made from the fires of hell as opposed to fresh peaches; so if they have cut a dirt line around a quarter of the pie and have guys with big squirt guns guarding the dirt line, then the fire is 25% contained. Problem is that the fires rarely watch the news and the fire in Ventura just jumped a 6-lane freeway and median because it heard there were some tasty houses by the beach. Wood shingles might be pretty but they’re about as fire retardant as your kid’s pajamas.
An odd by-product of the season is that I hear from friends and family I’m usually trying to forget even existed. They all think I am either rolling in the dirt to put out the flames or at least have my car packed with wedding photos, pets and Cheetos (their food of flight). Because most of them are living in towns so small that you can hold a conversation in the middle of the damned street and you’re never holding anyone up, they can’t grasp the reality of the size of California. These are really small towns…you never get carded in the only bar in town because everyone in the town remembers when you were born. You were valedictorian in high school because you were smarter than your twin sister. You have to date your friend’s ex because everyone else in town is a relative. You never use your blinkers because if there is anyone behind you, they already know where you’re going. Anyway, when they hear California and fire I guess they just assume we’re all being toasted. Now, while my friends and relatives are no threats to Einstein, most people in other parts of the country can’t equate the size of California to anything and require some kind of reference point but when I try and explain to the other coast that if we laid California on the east coast it would stretch from New Hampshire to the Carolinas, their eyes tend to glaze over and drool starts slipping down their shirts.
I hope everyone is safe, cool, or at least not burning, and able to enjoy the holiday season…except for the talking heads on TV who continue to say, “burned to the ground” as if there was another possible way for things to burn. Have they never heard of gravity?
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we’re busy working on the 2018 version which will feature new products and new retail brands. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…do you like s’mores?