I was at my weekly business lunch yesterday and while we routinely solve the world’s problems, at least to our satisfaction, this is not to say we are without fault, though none of us is likely to be incarcerated for insider trading, colluding with Russia or inappropriate sexual conduct so I don’t expect to see any of our names in the NY Times or to have paparazzi camped on our front lawns. What is mildly interesting is that these captains of industry, though we have manners indicating a proper upbringing, have eating habits which would make a garbage dump maggot recoil in horror. Seriously, a Norwegian wharf rat living in a dumpster would throw up if he saw our plates. Now, I normally hold my tongue because of my self-imposed mantra of Courtesy Costs You Nothing but they are getting used to my eye-rolling when they try and describe their order to a waiter. In past notes I have mentioned my associate who likes things light years beyond cooked…petrified is the word that best describes anything that comes out of the kitchen for him. His perfect bacon is if it comes out of the kitchen as just a pile of ash on his plate. The other day he ordered eggs benedict which traditionally celebrate the poached egg but he wanted his eggs one step beyond hard-boiled which I believe is called…rock. I’m convinced if there wasn’t Hollandaise sauce to hold them down, his eggs would have rolled off his plate. You could have played croquet with these eggs. Yesterday he ordered chicken tenders so well done they looked like they had the texture and bite of…chicken lips. I have another friend who orders the wedge salad almost every week but can’t summon the energy to cut it so he makes the kitchen chop it up and drown it in ranch dressing, the most degenerate of all condiments. Ordering ranch dressing is like saying, “Don’t shoot me, I’m already committing suicide.” In the same vein, the gentleman on my right wants everything with a side of BBQ sauce because he is adventurous in nature or because he was raised on the west side and never got to pretend to be a cowboy. I’m so used to seeing that side of BBQ sauce near his plate, I won’t be surprised when he starts stirring it into his coffee. Lastly, the gentleman on the other side of the row and down a couple from me wants his french fries well done which essentially means leave them in the burning oil until they stop screaming. What is well done for a french fry? Isn’t that just a potato chip?
As much as I would like to get to the bottom of this issue, it just appears to be a time and environmental thing. We are all of an age where there were only two condiments…ketchup and mustard, and most of you can’t imagine living in an era where mayonnaise was considered exotic. It was a sad, dark time in America’s history because you could buy a hamburger for $.15 but balsamic was for furriners. In music we were experiencing the British invasion with the Beatles and Stones but we made them leave their vinegar in London as in the wake of the Cold War the idea of vinegar on fish was treasonous. Oddly, McDonald’s put pickles on your hamburger but relish was considered to be the work of the devil.
As a group, in spite of our culinary atrocities we do band together and collaborate on projects for the good of mankind like making easier-to-open pill bottles since we are the over-medicated generation but don’t believe it should take a doctorate, scissors and a wrench just to take two aspirin. We’re also just minutes away from bringing you a flying car. We work together after all, because we are the generation that invented the saying, “There is no I in team” but then my friend reminded me that, “That’s only because they needed two I’s to spell idiot.”
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…would you like ketchup with that?