I openly admit to believing sarcasm is an under-recognized art form but I’ve evolved beyond believing its original Greek meaning of “to tear flesh like a dog” although I can see times where that might be appropriate. Over the centuries it has evolved into “a sharp bitter or cutting expression or remark” and while I should be honored for expertise in that arena, I usually tend to follow today’s definition which is “the use of irony to convey contempt.” It’s my favorite. A young person I know accused me of “throwing shade” at someone the other day and from what I said I thought I was just being sarcastic since that is what I am 99% of the time. And it’s hard, nee impossible, not to be sarcastic when confronted with this new hipster terminology. I am the most sarcastic person I’ve ever been around and I know I’ve mentioned this but I continue to tire of people inventing new wording to describe something that needs no describing. What? Is the word sarcasm too hard to pronounce? I think these are the same people who text ur instead of your and we can all agree those are the people we should deport. And if you’ve ever used the term YOLO, your thumbs should be amputated.
I thought I had survived the hipster era and it was over but I still see slobbering idiots trying to wear their cool as if seeing an emaciated clerk at Target saunter down Aisle 6 wearing a fedora and a scarf with a man bag over his shoulder would make me feel better about the world’s future. First of all fedoras have never, and will never be cool, and this is not gender-biased because they look stupid on both sexes. The last person who almost was cool while wearing a fedora was Cab Calloway in the Blue Brothers movie. And when did guys start wearing scarves? Did I miss another memo? Everyone I see is in southern California, where there’s very little chance your Adam’s apple is going to get frostbite so I’m pretty sure we can forego the neck wear. You’re the same people I see wearing beanies with tassels when the thermometer dips below 70 and those things always look silly but are especially stupid at the beach. I don’t even want to get started on the rash of across the body man bags I’ve seen men toting but if you need to carry that much stuff around, you should look for a bigger apartment.
I could also live out the rest of my days comfortably without seeing another hipster tattoo although I’m not personally against anyone turning their body into their own personal etch-a-sketch. I guess I just know too many hipsters who have gone vegan or gluten-free and barely have the energy to breathe but maybe they’re the best at lying still while a felon repeatedly stabs them with a needle and before they know it, they have a bad picture of Scott Baio on their thigh. And if you have a feather or a piece of kale tattooed on the inside of your forearm, please start wearing long-sleeved shirts. If you feel a need to tattoo your child’s name and birthdate somewhere on your person, I’d like to point out you can just put a reminder in your phone. I’m sure hipsters think they have good reasons for getting ‘inked’ and it’s usually…everybody is doing it but I’m an individual, but let’s talk about a couple of good reasons to rethink your choices. I won’t even mention what it will look like when you’re 80 because none of you will probably live to be 80. It’s getting close to the holidays and you don’t want Grandma to see it because she’s still coherent enough to change her will. Let’s say you were born on May 31st in the year 8008 so you want 5318008 inked on your wrist so you can see it but everyone else will see it upside down and it spells…boobies.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services and we are working hard on the 2018 version. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is that fresh ink?