If you’re reading this one of two things has most likely happened or not happened, depending on your point of view but, in perspective, both things could be good. A: If you are reading this under normal circumstances it means you have not yet been turned into a pile of ash by the nuclear weapon two bullies with the combined IQ of yoghurt are currently threatening our countries with. B: If you are reading this but most of us are piles of ash blowing in the wind along the Ventura Freeway, then Home Depot delivered your do-it-yourself bomb shelter on time…and you have great Wi-Fi. The world is currently being subjected to the posturing of our president and some kid who looks like the Korean version of the Pillsbury doughboy, poster children who should be on the cover of Immature Monthly as they wander around trying to decide who has the biggest shovel in the sandbox. Hopefully, this issue will be eventually decided by more rational thought, though none has been shown so far, as the rest of us look to the skies in horror every time we hear a strange sound. And our leader’s use of terms like rage, fury, locked and loaded do not give us the warm, fuzzy feeling of hot chocolate in front of a cozy fire since we’re busy checking our umbrella labels to see if they block radiation.
It’s times like these when I begin to wish that torture hadn’t gotten such a bad rap. Those fun-loving carefree days of waterboarding, kneecapping or fingernail removal have long since become only a fond memory to most of us as we hope the world continues to become a kinder, gentler place but there should be a place for a less violent form of torture. Gone are the joyful times when you could surf in Guantanamo Bay all day and still have time to set someone’s feet on fire long into the night. Someone once joked that if you made bad people do innocuous, mundane tasks, that would be torture for them yet our hands would be clean of the hysteria that surrounds torture and that got me to thinking about how it might work in this day and age.
To look back, I think we can all agree that World War II would have been a lot shorter and less damaging if we had kidnapped Hitler and made him sell deep-fried Snickers bars at county fairs all summer. We could then have sent him back to Germany where nobody would have listened to him because he smelled like vegetable oil and chocolate. Even earlier than that, Genghis Khan would have done a lot less raping and pillaging if someone had tied him up and made him sell iPhone cases at a kiosk in the mall. We finally took out Osama Bin Laden but imagine if we had him 15 years earlier and we made him be a wedding DJ and he had to play Katy Perry’s California Gurls over and over and over…and over. Imagine now if we could take this new kinder, gentler torture and render the current leaders in question. We could make Kim Jong-un work the sandwich line at Subway but every customer would order the foot-long tuna salad on toasted whole wheat with extra onions…and pepperoncini’s. How long do you think it would be before he slipped one of those plastic sandwich bags over his head and took a deep breath? And we could have The Donald do the one job for which he is perfectly suited and he would have to greet every customer by saying, “Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart.”
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. If you find yourself in Long Beach for the great SAAC show in August, please stop by and see what’s new from IMC in booth 535. We will also be in Texas at the HPPA Show in late August and you can find IMC in booth 440. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…is that a shooting star?