I have friends from Florida and while they couldn’t wait to get out of there, they still think it’s the place to send their parents. That said, from personal experiences and the news, I’ve come to believe that things happen in Florida that don’t happen anywhere in the other 49. Police raided a large Florida retirement community this morning and uncovered a drug operation that had what was described as an abundance of methamphetamine, weapons, ammo, cash and …stolen golf cart parts. Here in California we’re stealing Camry’s, Civics and Corvettes and chopping them up to send the parts around the world. In Florida they’re stealing golf carts and chopping them up to send them around the block. I understand that for many in Florida they are a necessity but here we pay more for mountain bikes than they do for a shopping cart with a battery and AM radio…even if the horn says…Aaoogah!
In many of those retirement communities your golf cart is your only link to the outside world so when 63 of them go missing within a couple of months, the old folks start to take notice. When you use a golf cart just to slide down the driveway to your mailbox, not having it around anymore seems like a crime so these old-timers are irate and asking for the death penalty. Now, while I believe if you live in one of those raisin ranch communities, you’re already on death row and just running through your appeals but if your golf cart is your only lifeline to the early bird dinner at Denny’s, I can see why they might be outraged.
But let’s get back to the alleged masterminds of this criminal enterprise as the questions mount. How did they think they wouldn’t be caught? The four arrested weigh about 112 each and look like they haven’t had a real meal since Christmas while every other old person around them looks they just waddled away from the table after polishing off a Grand Slam breakfast. They stood out like four meth addicts at a Santa Claus convention. In addition, I don’t believe illegal drug sales in a retirement community would be your ideal demographic as I can barely remember to take the drugs legally prescribed to me by a real doctor so how is some old guy supposed to remember that he’s out of meth? And why meth? I would think your target market would pay more dearly for blood pressure medication, nitroglycerin or the latest and greatest in stool softeners. Maybe they just watched a documentary on hiding in plain sight and thought, “That’s the ticket!” I just saw the mug shots of the four people arrested and I can promise you that none of them appears to be any threat to Einstein. Judging from the vacant stares on their fine police-produced portraits I would think they would have to form a committee just to spell, well…meth. And why do you decide to supplement your drug selling business with an illegal chop shop for golf carts? In a 55+ community in Florida I’m sure there’s a better market for hospital beds and tennis ball walkers. Granted, I guess they’re pretty easy to steal since most of them hardly even require a key. Even I can start any one I’ve ever seen in California with a paper clip. And how did they get away with it until now? Are they stealing them in the dead of night by disguising them as BBQs? Actually, during the day they could blend in with the rest of the shopping carts and strollers but it’s not your ideal getaway vehicle so you’d better be pretty sneaky since most of them don’t go faster than the speed of smell. I saw one in Florida once that was being tailed by a turtle and the golf cart driver kept waving his arm and screaming, “Go around!”
I’m sure within a couple of days they’re going to blame it all on the republicans for the cuts to Medicaid while the democrats shoot themselves in the feet again by calling for more stringent warning labels on golf carts.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you say…what’s on sale today?