I was on the internet yesterday and while I was decrying it as the National Enquirer of hyperspace, a very interesting article came into view. See, I’m well past the time when I’m concerned about bombings, riots, school choice and gas prices so I find myself gravitating toward the news breaking, hard-hitting stories like “21 Inventions that Betty White is Older Than” so I’m up-to-date on current events. Really, when you have columns to fill, would you rather have another story on Canadian genocide or learn that Betty White is older than the wheel? Like the internet, I may be exaggerating or embellishing a little because I don’t think she’s that old but I’m pretty sure they were still using lightning to start a campfire to grill the saber-toothed tiger the tribe just killed. In actuality, she is older than scotch tape…and sliced bread.
While I have adopted an attitude of laissez-faire when it comes to aging, the article persuaded me to do some research to discover some inventions younger than I. Logically it is easy to realize that you are older than anything invented since your birth but it is interesting (and painful) to know you are older than many things we all now take for granted and after learning this, the only thing you’re thankful for is that somebody finally invented Prozac. Now, I’m sure that I’ll have a very fine eulogy someday but I don’t want it to include the fact that I am older than…Velcro. Last week I talked about having to get up and change the channel so you all know I’m older than the remote control…man’s greatest invention. In the natural progression for a world seeking to never leave the couch is that now there is a remote for everything. I can close my blinds, start my coffee, flush my toilet and since I’m older than canned beer, I plan on staying around until there’s a remote to open that. It’s actually kind of surreal to listen to today’s youth talk about the latest video game on their phone; in hi-def where the screen figuratively leaks with the blood of vanquished foes while I, at their age, was trying to find the last cat in the hidden pictures puzzle in the back of Highlights magazine.
Oddly, I was also using the internet to find out that I was older than the internet. I am also older than a few inventions that have come and been mercifully killed since my birth…thankfully the bean bag chair…unless you live in a basement in Arkansas. There are times I only believe I’m here is because I’m older than the birth control pill and I’m also older than the microwave oven although I’ve been using one so long that periodically I have to check to make sure I’m not growing a tail. I do consider myself lucky as I survived for about 40 years until smoke detectors were invented but almost immediately everybody disconnected them so they could smoke in peace.
Curiously, I am also older than the institution many think is most responsible for shortening our lives…McDonald’s. They stopped counting in ’94 when they went over 100 Billion so in about 40 years they sold that many hamburgers to more than willing customers in now almost every country except India. Quite a feat until you realize that is about the equivalent of 7 cows and 99 billion other things no one else in the world considers food. When I started going there the sign said, “12” but the fries were better than anything your Mom ever made.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…when was that invented?