I’m old, certainly older than most of you who stop doing nothing to read this weekly, but I’m not a senior citizen regardless of what the media and AARP tell me. I’m usually OK with political correctness and believe, on balance, it has improved our lives, made others more tolerable and helped generally clean up our act but I draw the line at the euphemistic language we have developed to describe people, events and acts of life. See, I’m not allowed to be old any more. According to the media, who goes out of their way to not offend anyone and by doing so ends up offending everyone, I have to be aging or a senior citizen, sexagenarian or a cagey veteran who brings a ‘wealth of experience’ to the party. Not only will the media not let me get old but now I can’t even die; I have to be fading, declining, perishing or vanishing until I pass over, expire, demise, decease or depart.
Over the last forty years or so, while I was not paying attention, as is often the case, someone decided to stop calling things by their real name as if we couldn’t handle the truth. I know it’s sometimes done to “soften the blow” or to make someone feel better about themselves but I really think it’s more for the speaker to feel better about themselves while saying something horrid about someone else. Just because you’ve reviewed your operational needs and have decided to downsize because of a work balance correction doesn’t mean somebody’s not getting fired and when that happens you’re not ‘between jobs’–you’re unemployed. And if you have a friend in the hospital and they experience a ‘negative patient outcome’—don’t expect a Christmas card from them this year.
My local health care professional, who just used to be my doctor, just had her house cleaned by a domestic engineer who gave all the trash to a sanitation technician who drove away in a waste disposal vehicle. All we’ve done this generation is gloss over the real word and used more words to confuse people. Perhaps it was just a simpler time when I was younger although I’ll remind you it wasn’t better, it was just different. TV only had three channels and I was the remote control for my parents so, when commanded, I had to walk across the room and use the pliers to change the channel and fiddle with the aluminum foil on the rabbit ears until the picture was clear. Now I have five hundred HD channels and still can’t find anything worth watching.
You might think it was a simpler time and maybe it was because we hadn’t yet made up words that masked the truth to the extent we have today. The suit I was wearing didn’t just ‘fall off a truck’—it was stolen and we weren’t experiencing a ‘negative cash flow’—we were broke. And we didn’t know a lot of the things we experienced are now called diseases. We didn’t have attention deficit disorder when I was young…we were just jerks, and we weren’t mentally challenged, we were just stupid and our dads didn’t have acid reflux…they had gas and you were safer in another room. Grandpa didn’t have Alzheimer’s fifty years ago, he was just losing it. Nothing was ‘pre-owned’—it was USED and your uncle wasn’t ‘motivationally deficient’—he was just lazy.
And now if you’ll excuse me, even though I’m considered ‘mature’ and becoming a ‘little thin on top,’ I’m not ready to take a ‘dirt nap’ so I’m off to find an ‘adult beverage’ as soon as I ‘powder my nose.’
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…are you challenged?