Where’s the Nearest Exit?

Donn James

Almost weekly I delve into what’s left of my mind and attempt to explain what I’ve seen you all doing wrong this week, yet I hold out hope that occasionally someone will read this column and change their ways or temper their behavior to irritate me less. To date this has proved fruitless, futile really, as this week I have even more issues I could easily correct if I could just get anyone to listen to me.
Many of you are parents and while I can’t do anything about that, mainly because there is no law against it, I regret that many of you chose this particular path. Geez, I need a home inspection before I can adopt a dog and oddly, we have laws that tell me which bathroom I have to use but a simple learner’s permit or license before you add another mouth to the planet was too much for the politicos in Washington to grasp. Anyway, parents are often irrationally proud of their progeny and delight in our pain as they blather on in person or in the bane of our existence…the holiday letter, whose only saving grace is that it’s flammable. As a parent I have been involuntarily, and against my better judgment, studying parents for several decades now and it has become abundantly clear that parents don embarrassingly rose-colored glasses when talking about their offspring, usually with Frank Sinatra’s My Way playing softly in the background. Here are two things I’ve found most constantly true to the chagrin of many parents: If your child has a problem with a teacher…the problem is not the teacher and if your child has a problem with a rule…the rule is not the problem.
I began this rage today with the intent of telling you the following and now that I’m halfway done, I suspect I should get on with it. Whenever someone tells you they want to tell you a funny story about something their kid did, get ready to hear the least funny thing you have ever heard in your life. Parents fail to understand it’s only funny to them, it’s not really funny at all and it’s certainly not funny to anyone else in the world. And parents, consciously or not, always catch me when I haven’t had time to plan my escape route. I’m usually at some gathering with a drink in my hand or cake in my mouth and my back against the wall because running for my life from a parent on a mission hasn’t entered my mind yet so I must look like easy pickin’s for the parentosaurous lumbering toward me. So if you find yourself at a gathering of parents, and they’re everywhere, I advise you to have a flight plan in place when you’re accosted on the patio, PFA meeting, grocery store etc. If you can’t just run away, you then need a verbal rejoinder to cut into their story time. But as a civilized member of society you have an obligation to be kind, gentle and let the other parent down easy. So I always say. “I can barely stand stories about my own family. Why would you think I could tolerate hearing about yours?” See…gentle and kind.
I know you think because you’re a parent and I’m a parent that we’re all members of the same club, but that doesn’t give you license to put me to sleep telling me how your child answered question #4 on his remedial math quiz. And I don’t care if your daughter got into your makeup and made the family basset hound look like Eleanor Roosevelt. If you expect me to listen to a funny story about your kids, it had better include a bone sticking out the side of his/her leg or intestinal surgery to remove a fire truck that was included in his Happy Meal.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…is she headed toward me?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

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