Hospitals Don’t Have Room Service!

Donn James

As friends around me age I am noticing the particular phenomenon of their parents reverting to a childlike state which I’m given to understand is a little frustrating. Friends who are just now on the cusp of stool softeners and dining at 4:30 are now finding they are parenting their parents…and it isn’t much fun. Well, to be clear, it isn’t a lot of fun for them but it’s a lot of fun for the rest of us because it’s not happening to us. Their complaint is that almost as soon as they finished raising their own kids and got them out of the house, their parents have started becoming childlike and needy as they age.
Aging is an odd thing in any case and as one of the few mammals who can reason, I find it weird that we spend our early years fighting to get out of diapers and our last years wondering where we put them. My friends’ parents are in and out of the hospital more often than a 10-year old is in and out of the fridge. And the mother is the worst as she treats every hospital stay like she just checked in to the Four Seasons and treats the nurses like the maid you tip a dollar to get an extra pillow. This last time she tried to order an onion bagel because she was pretty sure she wasn’t going to like the lunch they served. And my friends try to be patient when they tell her, “You’re pre-diabetic and already constipated so you’re not getting a sugary, white flour ball of gluten to add to the problem.” So then she tried to pull the old age version of running away from home as she got dressed, put new tennis balls on the feet of her walker and tried to escape. And they have to watch her like a hawk because she still has a cell phone and her retirement home has a shuttle to and from the hospital. From the stories I’ve heard she also has a tendency to turn into a conspiracy theorist as if she views the fact that her husband needs dialysis as some sort of commie trick. “He’ll be fine…I’ll make soup” seems to be her most common mantra. That’s at least humorous as the alternative is just to sound selfish, as if this life-saving treatment for her husband is somehow inconveniencing her…”but Bingo starts at 2:00″…or, “Can you start his heart bypass surgery a little later; I don’t want to miss Jeopardy.”
The haunting part of this episodic thriller is that the picture of a toddler carrying a teddy bear running away in footie pajamas is strikingly similar to an old woman with a walker wearing Easy Spirits as she hobbles away from you. If nothing else, you begin to believe in the whole “full circle” theory because the mother who wouldn’t let you have Kool-Aid after school 50 years ago is now crying because the hospital doesn’t serve wine after a colonoscopy.
Psychiatrists, who are usually people with bigger problems than you, will tell you not to act like parents to your parents but try and partner with them to reach a common goal. Well, that might have worked for Lewis & Clark but they didn’t have an aunt in Florida and two sisters in Beverly Hills asking you questions they should be asking the doctors. 1500 miles fighting winter, warring Indians and grizzly bears was nothing compared to a Jewish mother with a knitting needle and a guilt trip.

IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…what time is dinner?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales. Bookmark the permalink.

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