We’ve got to do something about Las Vegas and since everyone who goes there acts like they’re in a parallel universe when they get there, I think we should move it to the moon. And with all the money we’re spending to build the wall there won’t be enough leftover to build a giant corral (since everyone who goes to Vegas acts like an ass) around the city so I think giving Las Vegas its own celestial body is a satisfactory compromise. The PR department can come up with catchy slogans or campaigns to attract other aliens, “Come see earthlings destroy a city outside their natural environment” or “What happens in Vegas wasn’t always staying in Vegas so we had to move it farther away.”
I don’t get it. I have nice, normal friends around here…that is to say they’re spoiled and entitled but reasonably sane most of the time but then they go to Vegas and act like an extra that’s been killed four times on The Walking Dead. If you go there you almost have to carry a wooden stake with you just in case you have to stab some zombie in the heart. It’s not gender-specific either because I know women you think are Mary Poppins around here but let them cross the state line and see the lights of Vegas and all of a sudden they’re Tila Tequila or…Cruella DeVille. Men who normally are soccer dads, granite salesmen or bank managers morph into lame hipsters with soul patches and man buns as if it was still 1997 or they turn into something they think will be a hit with the “ladies” as if drinking beer out of a glow-in-the-dark funnel while standing on your head in a swimming pool was an extraordinary feat and not something everyone could do.
Vegas has long been a destination for bachelor and bachelorette parties and that’s another good reason to move this hell to another planet. You cannot go there without seeing a gaggle of young women woo-wooing their way through a casino and the highlight of their evening appears to be when the bride-to-be has a bottle of champagne in one hand, a tiara perched precariously on her head and begins throwing up in a planter near the nickel slots. And the herd of men is certainly no better and possibly worse as they roam the casino in search of a woman willing to send the groom-to-be off to marriage in style because they’ve apparently pooled their money and are trying to give the groom the gift of an STD. This will put a whole new spin on the tagline, “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
None of this makes it right or excuses Vegas, but the whole idea of what might be crazy here is normal in Vegas makes for some interesting entertainment. If you miss the nude lady pushing her Lhaso Apso in a baby stroller while reciting a soliloquy from King Lear, she’s probably on a break so just walk around the block. If I did half of the things I’ve seen in Vegas I would either be dead, beaten up or arrested and while you might feel Vegas is nice and gives you some sort of mental or physical release, I don’t like visiting a city where people leave their morals at the door.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…does it really stay there?