The storm has passed and winter appears to be over as the roads are dry and most of the accidents and body parts have been scraped to the side of the road. Last week I wrote about driving on wet roads and now I realize I was being unduly kind…and that stops now. We get into accidents, I get that, but I hate when someone tells another that, “It happens to the best of us.” No, death happens to the best of us. If you’re getting into accidents it generally means you’re a terrible driver and you should be riding the bus with the rest of the terrible drivers. That way you have both hands free because people who get into accidents are the same people who post pictures of their desserts on Facebook.
We often forget that driving is a privilege, not a right, and the fact that you can eat a Happy Meal, put on makeup and take a phone call on the Ventura Freeway doesn’t exactly comfort the rest of us. Of course, we were probably already worried when we noticed you were missing a mirror and your bumpers have four colors of paint on them. You may think you’re a good driver but if your cigarette lighter works and your brake lights don’t, or your friends always offer to drive, some of us might have our doubts. Seriously, if you get into a lot of “not your fault” accidents…it probably is.
Over the last 50 years or so of driving I have had thousands of people tell me they’re good drivers right before or after they’ve been in an accident. That in itself bespeaks the lie. I’ve had young people, people who haven’t been driving long enough for hair to grow, tell me they are good drivers and…they’re wrong. They’re terrible drivers, taught for 6 hours by someone who couldn’t pass the Uber test and they have a few months working with their parents who also think they’re good drivers and…they’re wrong. In fact, their parents are the generation that has perpetuated the lie. It started with the damned participation trophy and has spiraled out of control to the point where they’ve taken parallel parking out of the driving test. Now all you have to be able to do is move the car forward and know how the steering wheel works as if that covers all driving situations. That’s like graduating high school because you can remember the combination to your locker. I didn’t think you could dumb down the driving test any more than it already was but now we’re making it easier to get a license than it is to get a library card. It’s astonishing to me that people who get into an accident that isn’t their fault think they are good drivers who got hit by a bad driver. The reality is that you are a bad driver and you just got hit by a worse driver. I realize we can’t live our lives in fear but you should be aware that, while you’re a bad driver, you’re probably surrounded by worse drivers every day…and could be seriously injured at any time.
Since I’ve learned so much this week about Executive Orders, when I’m president I’m going to sign one that makes adults retake the driving test once they become parents and they have to take the test while a cobra and a mongoose fight in the back seat of the car because that’s what driving with children is like. So the next time someone tells you they’re a good driver, just smile and say, “I’m sure you think so” because it’s just like people I’ve learned who have to tell you they’re a nice person…but they’re not. And, if your friends get really quiet when they hear you tell people you’re a good driver…I’d start saving up for a bus pass.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is this where I make a left?