I was going to talk about the inauguration as it goes on live on one of my computer screens while sitting here because we’re not as unified as I’d like to see us. At last count 65,844,610 of us are convinced the world is about to end, 62,979,636 of us think it’s time for a new world while the 7,804,213 of us who voted for Peter Rabbit need to have our medications adjusted.
But we’re in California and we have real world problems here that certainly are more important to us than some changing of the guard in that far-off land called Washington and that is the fact that it is raining. You have all had about a year since our last rainfall and apparently none of you used it to practice your driving because you’re still messing up my roads. Many of you have not grasped the concept that when rain falls (a simple function of gravity) it often lands on the roads predominantly occupied by cars and that makes the roads wet. Well, Duh. However, this doesn’t mean that you drive in the passing lane like a turtle with plantar fasciitis or conversely, speed down the slow lane like you’re in the kayak course during the Olympics and you just missed a gate. Now, I know many of you are sitting upside down in a ditch somewhere being held in place by your seat belt while you try and use your phone to dial 9-1-1 but your phone screen is right-side up and you are upside down so you keep dialing 3-3-7 so don’t expect the ambulance anytime soon.
It’s just rain people…you’re not racing away from an eruption on Mt Pompeii. And it’s a lot like coloring…you just have to stay within the lines and if you can’t do that…no crayons for you. I know many of you worry about driving in the rain especially when the roads are flooding as they do here in southern California. I can see you thinking…I have eight airbags but I left my life preserver in the pool. You see, if you looked at a California freeway from space you’re supposed to see the cars marching in rows (lanes) like soldiers so when it rains and it looks like a village of meerkats trying to dodge hyenas…I get a little concerned. Remember, driving in the rain is a little like baseball…it only matters who gets home safely. So, if you’re involved in a multi-car pileup, I hope you go for the record…I believe it’s 259 cars.
My suggestion is that you stay off the roads during our version of winter because the life you save may be mine. If you can’t do that then the next big thing is to have you drive Canadian…because they’re a very polite people. And they know how to stay in line. Keep a reasonable distance between you and the car in front of you because you’re praying he spins out like the teacup ride at Disney before you do. It’s probably too late as you head down the 101 to listen to your mechanic’s advice to change your wipers but try and keep your defroster set to “high” because your panicked breathing is fogging up your windshield and the death grip you have on the steering wheel is making your hands cramp. And while most of you are born criminals but I encourage you to follow the law that states, “Wipers On, Headlights On” even if you’re on your way to knock off a 7/11.
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. We welcome you to 2017 and wish you the best and we hope you had time to stop and visit IMC at the PPAI Las Vegas show. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is that moisture in the air?