It’s 9:00 in the morning and as I’m just rolling up my sleeves to get serious at the computer, I find one of my wife’s nylons stuck in my right sleeve like an Amazonian leech, so clearly one dryer sheet per load is not doing the trick. Is this a conspiracy by the dryer sheet industry long known for its underhanded business practices? I always thought the shampoo people were the bad guys with their whole shampoo, rinse, repeat mantra and I never fell for that because I knew all they wanted me to do was use up the bottle twice as fast. Dryer sheets have one job and if they can’t handle it, we need to call somebody because this has probably happened to me a hundred times over the last thirty-some years and it doesn’t appear I’m very motivated to do anything about it. I’ve had them slowly slide down my pants leg at the office and sort of slither down my back like hot fudge sliding down ice cream. I don’t know why they have such an affinity with my clothing but somebody has probably written a book about it. Well, I’m not going to read a whole self-help book just to find the perfect number of dryer sheets necessary to divorce my wife’s hose from my shirts without the laundry getting so fluffy that I fall asleep driving to the store. I’m too old to develop many new habits and I don’t want to have to shake my clothes out like I’m living in Yuma and shaking scorpions out of my shoes.
While you all know I’m all about motivation and improving myself and the story of me bribing my kids to hand me the remote so I wouldn’t have to put the recliner in an upright position is just a rumor, I’m not a fan of self-help books. They seem to all be written by people I wouldn’t trust to feed my cat and if you wrote a “get rich quick” book you only did it to try and well…get rich quick. And the title is misleading because it should be If You Buy This Book, I’ll Get Rich Quick. I’ve looked at a couple of self-help books but every time they tell me I should be doing something, I can’t help but think, “Yeah, I don’t see me doing that.” Besides, is it really self-help if somebody else is telling me to do something? I’ll be a better person if I do something YOU tell me to do. That’s never worked for parents so why do you think I’m going to listen to a graduate of the online PT Barnum School of Psychology and Hypnotism? My personal favorite has always been I’m Dysfunctional, You’re Dysfunctional because it perfectly describes me and everybody I know or have met…plus the billion people I haven’t yet met. Even now, I don’t need a book to tell me I’m dysfunctional although many of my friends still appear clueless and do silly things like wear fedoras…in public.
Self-help books are carefully couched toward bettering anyone silly enough to have purchased the book but they all seem to concentrate on blaming someone else for the fact that you still wet the bed. If all you can do is blame someone else you’re probably a politician anyway and if you think someone else should be responsible for you, you shouldn’t be allowed out of your stroller. Now I believe I’ll help myself to some lunch.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC promotional products will help you serve your client and, for 2016.5, we have new products from our collections and our retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website. In addition, IMC just introduced 97 new items at the SAAC show in California and they are live in the section of our website. You may also go to our Tools section of the website and download the 2016.5 flyer. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…can you help me?