While I hate to talk politics as a rule, even with the happy benefit of making people mad, this is the time during the four year span where you can’t seem to hear anything else so I’m the guy with the keyboard and I feel as qualified as the media to offer comments since we can’t get them to shut up. If you think the following is unfair, remember the other side of the fence goes next week and we can expect more of the same, which is unjust to America. I can’t believe after 250 years we still only have two parties when in other civilized countries, you can sell bratwurst out of a rolling cart on the street and be a political party. Meanwhile here, in America, we’re wistfully searching for the box marked “Other.”
The Republicans just left Cleveland after four days in an atmosphere that was only missing a circus tent. Certainly no shortage of elephants. They didn’t show the credits but I’m pretty sure it was produced by Barnum & Bailey. And unlike LeBron, Cleveland wasn’t as happy to have them back. It was four days of speeches given by people who looked like the kind of kids who struck out playing kickball in elementary school… which is nearly impossible for all but the inept given that the ball is the size of a garbage can lid. I felt like I was watching a marathon of Saturday Night Live reruns. Rick Scott, the governor of Florida so that should tell you something, memorized his speech and while that might be laudable, it’s really much more amazing that he stayed awake to do it. I could be running from a bullet and fall asleep listening to him. And I don’t want to do any favors for the other side but I hope they don’t have any shaved heads on the ticket. I get that everyone doesn’t have hair but I shouldn’t have to go blind or wear sunglasses to watch you on TV so stop spit-shining your head because I can’t stand the glare and the TV lights make you sweat so you look like a hard-boiled egg in a car wash. And why do we bring out all the children to speak. They only know their dad as a dad and many of us dads are very different in a business or political setting. Your kids may think you’re the greatest but the rest of us have seen your picture on the post office wall. Remember, Genghis Khan was a brutal, murderous, genocidal ruler…but he went to all of his kids’ soccer games. This week’s nominee did give a good speech, speaking all the words that were on the teleprompter in the right order, but I felt like he yelled at me for an hour and a half. Even my dad when he was mad only yelled for about five seconds. We did learn that next week’s nominee is responsible for giving the apple to Eve in the garden, sinking the Titanic, and giving us low-fat mayo.
I just don’t get why they lie? And they all do. Are they only talking to the people who aren’t paying attention? Have they not heard of the internet? Every word of every speech is dissected by the other side and even by people with no ax to grind so why try and mislead us with facts? and figures that don’t add up. Please stop peeing on my leg and telling me it’s raining.
Next week it will be the Democrats turn to pitch their tents and lie to us and I’m looking forward to learning that I have to pay more taxes so the millionaire down the block can build a golden bidet. The Dems have their work cut out for themselves, though I’m sure they’re working on a plan to give us something that outdoes the right-wing radio personality giving the Nazi salute at the end of her speech. She was a real high point. The other day after that act played on national TV, someone funny said we might be mistaken. It might not have been a Nazi salute…it could have been a Nazi wave…or a Nazi yoga pose. No offense, but these are the same people who thought Sarah Palin was too far out there, so if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of my wallet.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has some elective promotional products and, for 2016, we have front runners from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016 and we are already working on our mid-year catalog with new items debuting at the SAAC show in August. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…can we count on your vote?