Many of you know I lean to the left in many areas even as idiots like Gloria Allred and Jesse Jackson try and drive me to the center but there is one area of political correctness where I’m melting to the right faster than a kitten in a microwave because I believe we’ve gone past the point of intelligence with regard to warning labels and signage. Somehow we’ve managed to give the impression we are stupid and we continue to cater to whomever is crying the loudest.
My body invariably twitches and shudders every morning as I cross a set of railroad tracks on my way to and from my offices and it takes every ounce of my will not to damage my front grill running over this sign that cautions everyoneand it begs the question as to who is so mentally defective as to need that warning? Are people stopping there for the view of the homeless guy sleeping under the bench? I’ve never seen a guy standing there selling peanuts, oranges or flowers and they only sell where people have to stop. If you intended to stop there and were saved by the sign, please go back and park there. Let’s approach this from another angle and assume I’m despondent and depressed beyond the will to live. Do you think this little tin sign is going to stop me from parking there and waiting for the Metroliner to T-bone my Camry? My only wish would be that the ensuing crash would also take out the sign.
I was in Palm Springs yesterday and I saw this signand while I threw up a little in my mouth, I had time to question its necessity. I understand the Palm Springs area is the land of the aged and they have visiting grandchildren but it’s a quasi-public pool so you might as well be swimming in a sewer. I’ve seen some pools that look like the tunnel Andy Defresne escaped from in the Shawshank Redemption. A public pool is the first place a kid learns he can do more than one thing at a time. If everyone there obeyed this sign, nobody would ever be in the pool. And since sign makers are also no threat to Einstein and simple punctuation escapes them, this sign can be read another way. If I notice a person with active diarrhea, I’m probably going to stay in another state…or on another planet.
There was another sign at this pool and between laughs I fought to keep the camera steady to get this shotIf you need that warning, tying your shoes must take you all day.
And if you require this warning
and you’re not carrying your epi-pen, you might be too stupid to live. At the very least I’m sure Harvard has your rejection letter in the mail.
I’m certainly not against most warning labels but, once again, we have certainly seen common sense leave the building and I think if you need to be told not to mix Valium with alcohol or drive heavy machinery, it might be time to thin the herd. Is there an epidemic of people mixing crystal meth and a box of wine we need to warn? I thought that was confined to wedding receptions in Alabama. We should, at least, try to invoke some sort of logic rule. I recently picked up a prescription for one of my dogs and this is the bottleand I seriously couldn’t hold the camera steady so I’ll tell you it has my dog’s name, the prescription, dose and doctor’s name and it came with the warning: May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify this effect. Use care when operating a car or dangerous machinery. So until he’s off the meds, my beagle can’t operate the fork lift in the warehouse or drive to the 7/11 and get me a 6-pack.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has signed up some awesome and amazing promotional products and, for 2016, we have new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…does this contain nuts?