I hope you are all doing well with your New Year’s resolutions and I’m sure the weight is practically falling off you, you’re being a kindlier, gentler person and you haven’t had a drink in 15 days. I made a resolution this year, which was hard for me since I have so few faults, but I resolved not to talk about Costco this year and, as you will soon note, that resolution barely lasted for 2 weeks before it crashed and burned.
We’re all familiar with the Costco business plan and while it works for them, to an outsider it’s still a little incongruous but really all they’ve done is take your town mall and cram it all into a giant warehouse. It’s just so convenient to be able to waltz in and pick up that handy 5-tube pack of Preparation H and slide one aisle over and get the diamond ring she’s always wanted. Let’s see Tiffany & Co. try that crap. Sure, it’s easy to go to Williams-Sonoma and get that cast iron skillet but you can get the same one at Costco…and a year’s supply of cat litter. And it serves a purpose being a great reminder because it helps me remember when I went in to get a bucket of hummus, I was supposed to pick up a new…hot tub.
I believe you all know how much I hate the free sample stops at Costco clogging the aisles so I have a hard time getting to the bacon. Too many of you are treating Costco like it’s a soup kitchen where you don’t have to pray before you eat. I’m also none too fond of those of you who frequent those stops like you live in Appalachia and a government helicopter is circling overhead with a load of free cheese. I just don’t know how you could eat a sample of yogurt when the next aisle over is selling diaper rash ointment…and they look identical. And when did we get to the point where we will eat anything if it’s free? The lady trying to make the hairnet look fashionable could be serving chopped up urinal cakes and you would think, “Well, it’s free, I should at least try it.” And then you’d move on to the next lady who is hawking imitation leather cheesecake. Costco’s new trick is now to have carnival barkers there hustling things like juicers or coffee beans blessed by Juan Valdez. Somebody at Costco has been watching too much late night TV and now as I walk the aisles I’m caught in infomercial hell with these talking heads and their stupid little microphones telling me why I need a knife that can cut a penny in half.
Normally I’d rather shove a pencil through my ear than go to Costco but I do like to go to Costco this time of year even though it’s still insanely crowded because I like to see the people in a return line that stretches into another state. You can actually watch people age right before your eyes as they slowly move forward at about the same tempo as the Bataan Death March. Apparently, for the holidays, many of you bought or were given things you don’t like, don’t want, don’t need or don’t have a garage big enough to store said items. Some of you may have even bought the vat-sized container of conditioner when your wife wanted shampoo, not knowing they make them look alike just for people like you who can’t read. I wouldn’t stand in that return line if I had to return anything smaller than a Hyundai. Anything less than that and I would just give it away to the homeless guy with the ‘Anything Helps’ sign in front of Home Depot. If he can get it home on his bike, I’m pretty sure he’ll be the only guy living under a park bench with his own 55-gallon drum of mayonnaise.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has resolved to wish you the best in 2016 and bring you new products from our collections and 6 new retail brands for the industry. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 catalog using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. This year we are proud to present Just Mobile, Block, Magisso, PlayableART, Molla Space and Airplane Pockets to the promotional products industry. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…did you resolve or resist?