Well, it’s not exactly a Christmas miracle that this appears a day early. It’s actually our government at work and I have to do my civic duty and it’s not the fun kind like taking potshots at jaywalkers or dropping sticks in front of skateboarders in front of schools. Tomorrow I have to gather with 200 other miscreants and reprobates from Ventura County and fulfill my annual obligation to jury duty. I can tell you that Friday morning I’m going to look around that room and as I realize these people are supposed to be my peers, a tear will begin to form in the corner of my eye. The only other place you can find a crowd this sketchy is when you see all the presidential candidates in one place at one time.
I’m now convinced the only reason they call it a jury pool is that most of the people in it should be drowned. I’ll get up in the morning and put on the ‘Business Casual Attire’ it clearly calls for on my summons and soon be sitting next to a woman wearing sweat pants and a helmet, holding a Yorkie that just peed on her. I know tomorrow I’ll look around the room and see about 7 normal people and that means about 193 will look like an open casting call for the remake of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The most disconcerting aspect of jury duty is that they get our names from the DMV and voter registrations and the idea that these people are allowed on the streets and to vote is alarming. I’ve never understood why we even elect judges anyway? There’s always about three pages of judges and nobody knows any of them, yet we stand in the voting booth and hire and fire them like we’re Greek gods lying around on clouds eating grapes. I’ve only heard of Judge Judy and she’s never on the list.
I’ve made a vow this year not to come up with outlandish excuses to get dismissed if I am called. I used to ask if all my different personalities got a vote and that worked a few times. Once I even claimed to be a Buddhist and told them it’s against my religion to pass judgment on others. This year I’m just going to go with the flow because I believe in the law and, looking around, I can’t help but believe I must be smarter than those sitting around me. To think otherwise would be almost too depressing to endure. I almost feel sorry for the people on trial since their fate is in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. But it’s hard to live this long and not become a little jaded because often it seems the jury is just choosing who had the better lawyer. Seriously, I have always tried to get out of criminal trials because I’ve come to think that if it’s come this far, you must be guilty of something. Civil trials are not much better and if you’re looking for a big payday because you caught a cold when the grocery store was out of wet wipes and you couldn’t properly sanitize your cart…I’m going to vote No…and I’m going to sue you for wasting my time. So, we’ll see what happens if I get selected but be forewarned; if I’m on your jury…I hope you look good in orange.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC would like to wish all of you the happiest of holidays this season and please accept our best wishes for 2016. We will debut new brands and products next year and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog has gone to print and is available by request from the IMC website and will be posted on the online services soon. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. Our 2016 catalog is in print now and will be ready for the New Year and the PPAI show where you can find IMC in Booth 2951. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 edition using the catalog page of our website. We have new items in the IMC Collections and several new retail brands debuting in 2016. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2016 IMC catalog will be live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Kikkerland, Areaware, Visconti and Redwear. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is everyone out of the pool?