I was away at the end of last week because I was whisked away for a short vacation, though the use of that term “vacation” would lead one to believe it was fun. After a short bus ride at 30,000 feet I landed in what is still the desert even though they now call it Las Vegas. The place has, in my lifetime, gone from a pile of sand to inexcusable to absurd and you can’t even complain about the tourists because everyone is a tourist. It’s not that I couldn’t live there and as soon as my lease is up on the garbage bin I live in behind the falafel stand in downtown Baghdad, I’m going to consider downsizing to Las Vegas.
I’m aging, admittedly not always gracefully, but Vegas now seems like a giant retirement community because the strip is a 24-7 parking lot, taxis go slower than the speed of smell and the water show at the Bellagio just reminds me that I already need another shower. And everyone I saw was either so old their method of transportation was a walker or so big they needed to ride around on one of those stupid motorized scooters. They would park them next to the slot machine and lumber into the two chairs necessary to hold their bulk and only play one machine. And people stay at the slots all day…I’m convinced that if the chairs were toilets, they might never leave. I saw a caregiver wheel one guy up to a machine and she had to turn the chair sideways so the guy’s oxygen tank wouldn’t be in the way so he could reach the machine. She walked away for a much-needed break and he promptly turned off the oxygen so he could have a smoke. Apparently, that’s the Nevada alternative to assisted suicide.
Las Vegas is the only place where you can be walking in a crowd and feel like you’re lost in a Where’s Waldo puzzle. I’m certain Las Vegas must have some redeeming qualities but I can’t find anybody who can think of one. Maybe if you’ve always dreamed of a destination wedding where you could lose your friends and be married by an Elvis named Carl, this would be the spot but…you should dream bigger.
We stayed at Paris which is very much like France, right down to the odor which reminds you of an old Frenchman who makes Gorgonzola in his basement, thinks his socks are as good as latex gloves, last showered during the Reagan administration and is convinced deodorant is just a passing fad. The closest resemblance to France was the cloud of smoke that invades your clothing, nostrils and lungs. It can really be a culture shock for Californians because the closest place we are allowed to smoke is Pluto but when you cross the state line, it’s like you’ve been transported to downtown Warsaw.
I also went downtown which is like being dropped into a crowd scene during the filming of Zombie Apocalypse…or a casting call for The Walking Dead. If you’ve never been in downtown Vegas, imagine bowling teams from all over the country celebrating Mardi Gras at the same time. Downtown has an hourly light show I wanted to see but as soon as I was disgorged from the cab, I was accosted by an old man dressed like Cupid in a speedo who wanted to know if I wanted to take a picture with him. Amazingly, I passed on that offer and continued walking and saw a woman pushing a stroller. The child was bundled nicely for the weather and I thought, what a good mother, until I noticed the mother was wearing nothing but duct tape…not quite strategically placed. This further proved the old saying…there are some things you just can’t unsee.
It’s not really that different in business. We dress for the times and our products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. With summer in bloom, our new designer sunglasses collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars might be just what you need. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can thumb through our 2015 catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. You can also get on the distribution list for our 2016 edition. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Areaware, Stewart/Stand, Cerruti and Bluetech. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…where’s your next convention?