I know patience is at a premium these days as I seem to be the only person with any. Everywhere I turn I find people and companies deciding for me what I want and what I need and to hurry up and get it. Everybody seems to be trying to hurry me and help me and I’d like you all to just knock it off. I may have lost a step over the years but I’m pretty sure I don’t need all the damned help. Thankfully, the other day I found myself in Costco, where nobody helps you, so it was a nice break. I needed paper towels so I picked up the convenient 108-roll pack and borrowed the forklift to take them to my car. Once home I had to put the rolls into the shed I had to buy at Costco to hold all the convenient Costco-sized items. That’s the Costco idea of help and that’s why their single-serving size of ketchup comes in a 55-gallon drum.
So now I’m suitably stocked with Bounty paper towels and I’ve learned that Bounty thinks they’re doing me a big favor with their select-a-size rolls…but it’s not really select-your-size, or even select-a-size; it’s their select-our-size because the size I need is right between the perforations so I end up with half less than I need to mop up the beer I just spilled, or half more than I need so it looks like I’m mopping up a raindrop with a quilt. So, thanks for nothing Bounty.
I don’t text while driving but it’s no thanks to my iPhone because they seem to believe everyone is texting so they continue to make it easier instead of more difficult. Personally, I believe when your car is running, the phone should be set so the letters move around like the wheel on The Price is Right so when you tried to type the word you, it would come out zci or wkr. Instead of installing breathalyzers you have to blow in to start your car, we should have to turn our car into a dead zone. But now I get 3 suggestions on just how to start my text and then 3 suggestions after every damned letter I type because maybe they’re trying to rush me so I’ll be done before the light turns green.
Social media is the worst offender as they think they know what I want before I even know I want it. If you so much as buy a pet toy from Amazon, Facebook assumes you’ve opened a wildlife refuge and inundates you with everything your dog, cat or giraffe could ever want. If you buy from Omaha Steaks, Facebook starts sending you ads for milking machines because it apparently thinks you’re building a herd.
Google is another company that is either trying to impress me with their speed or prove how smart they are. As much as I love Google, it has turned into a frustrating game of 20 questions and it almost seems to be shouting guesses at me while I type…and it’s very impatient. If I so much as type the letter Q, it starts shouting at me like it’s my dog and wants attention…”Quaalude, Quebec, Quixote, quiz…c’mon, type another letter…I’ll get it.” Once I type the U and A it actually guesses right because for some reason I’ve decided I really need to know what the hell a quark is. The most puzzling about the Google algorithm is how it works…I’m a guy who already qualifies for far too many senior citizen discounts. I’m either middle-aged or old depending on which side of the mirror you’re looking through. How does Google decide I’m the demographic who might be searching for a Quaalude? This is my computer and until this morning I couldn’t even spell Quaalude. My other problem with Google is that it can be quite condescending and sometimes it knows me too well and if I misspell a word during my search string it will snottily ask me if I really meant something else. The other day I was working on some quantum physics and I accidentally typed pyhsics and Google was very condescending when it asked me, “Did you mean…bacon?”
It’s not really that different in business. We post IMC items and ideas for their use on our Facebook page and we offer them in many categories. IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. With summer in bloom, our new designer sunglasses collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars might be just what you need. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can thumb through our 2015 catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Blunt, Metropolitan Museum of Art and Blackpen. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…do you need any help?