I’m not a big fan of ketchup but occasionally you get French fries that are so dry you expect birds to swoop down and carry them off to build a nest and you need ketchup to soften them up just so you can stick a fork in them without them pinging off your plate like ninja stars. I was at a luncheon yesterday featuring those fries and sitting in the middle of my plate was a saucer of ketchup made in Lilliput. It was good for about 3 fries and the rest I just had to gnaw on like I was eating potato-flavored gravel.
That said, my only real complaint with condiments is found at fast food restaurants where the options are either the little packets, or finding you have to pump ketchup into a thimble. And who decided a dollop of ketchup that a forensic team would have trouble finding was sufficient for the pound of French fries I just bought. Some places dole it out like we were at war and it was being rationed…or they make you feel like Oliver Twist saying, “Please sir. I want some more.” So now I feel like an idiot because I’m talking to some giant pimple at In ‘n Out, begging for more ketchup and he’s holding it hostage like it was tied to his hourly wage. And you have to be carrying scissors or a box cutter just to get the packet open because if you use your teeth, all you get is a mouthful of ketchup. The only time you get enough ketchup is when you get your food to go, and you get home and find 15 packets of ketchup but they forgot to put in the fries. Some restaurants have gone upscale and have a machine, loosely based on the water pumps used at the Alamo, which squirts ketchup into a flimsy paper cup like they use to hold your pills at your local psychiatric hospital. They don’t hold enough ketchup so you find yourself filling a bunch of them and piling them in your hands, trying to make it back to your table safely with them balanced on your hand like wet rose petals. You’re carrying about a dozen of these like you’re ready to hand them out as marathon runners jog by.
If you missed the memo, about 15 years ago we heralded our entry into the 21st century by finally making a positive statement to the world when we started making the condiment bottles upside down? Have you even noticed that the ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo and fake mayo are all now made so the lid is on the bottom and all you have to do is pop the lid and squeeze? What have you done with all the time you’ve saved? I knitted a Hyundai. You used to have to invert the bottle, grasp it firmly and then pound on it like you were trying to get a 2-year old to cough up a grape. It’s much easier now, plus we even get more of the product since we don’t have to rip off the lid and try to slide a knife into the ketchup jar to get the last bit. All you got when you tried that was ketchup all over your knuckles. And when you tried to shake the bottle, all you got was ketchup all over your brother sitting next to you at the table. And why did it take us so long to figure this out? We’ve had variations of ketchup for 400 years and it took us until this century to figure out to turn the bottle over. Was the wheel really that important? Why did it take us so long to figure out things run best downhill? Hell, toilets have been working that way forever.
By the way, if you are one of those willing to put ketchup on anything but you shudder at the sight of a tomato…SHUT UP. If you’re sitting there eating a ketchup covered doughnut but the thought of eating a tomato repulses you…it’s time to thin the herd.
It’s not really that different in business. Many of the IMC items are served with fine packaging and some are a la carte but all will be remembered forever and we offer them in many categories. IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. New brands like Alessi, Areaware and our new designer sunglasses collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars are live on our website. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. You can thumb through our 2015 catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Kikkerland, Cerruti, Fluxmob and Bluetech. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…can I get that on the side?