Somebody Call Rosetta Stone

Donn James

Donn James

I was watching the NatGeo channel the other day just in case you believe me a complete troglodyte and it was a special about talking whales. Well, I was really just flipping around and I heard these sounds that sounded like my cat had its leg stuck…well, in my dog. Anyway, I became engrossed by the scientist who claimed to speak ‘whale’ and I had two distinct thoughts about the matter; what could a whale say that I would find interesting and, what if these scientists are just making up crap? I went to high school and several colleges and none of them offered whale…or ape as a language option. Most California schools don’t offer Latin or Aramaic anymore either so maybe it’s a question of funding. Actually, I had more than five years of German and it kind of sounded a lot like whale so maybe if they offered it, we could learn whale and ask them why they keep eating their trainers at Sea World. But, for now, I’m listening to one guy telling me what the whales are saying and it brings up a myriad of new questions. Who’s verifying these findings? Why are we taking this guy at his word? Are we sure he’s just not trying to protect his grant money? If I’m the only guy talking to whales, I’d be tempted to show them a picture of Dick Cheney and teach them to say…mommy…just to mess with them. And they’re trying to convince me the whales are speaking English. Why would that be their language of choice? America has oceans on both sides but people in California can barely understand someone from New York. Hell, people in California can barely understand people in California. This guy swears the whale just said cucumber but how does he know the whale is not just ordering sweet and sour shrimp in French?
Koko the gorilla is a different story because they claim he knows 2000 words in sign language. I’m not sure how much credence I give that because if someone gave me a banana every time I scratched my butt…I’m pretty sure I could figure that out. You know what would be more convincing? If they had Koko standing off on the side of the stage signing while somebody recited the Gettysburg Address…that would do it for me. Or if I saw him standing outside my Home Depot holding a sign that said, “Will Work for Peanuts.”
Since I seem to have adopted an animal theme today, I will tell you I have noticed an increase in animal remains along the side of my main roads. If I had a broom and a dustpan, I could make one helluva stew. Coyotes, squirrels, crows, rabbits, raccoon and opossum seem to have chosen my road for their suicide by auto. Why don’t they want to leave this planet from their bed surrounded by their loved ones? Just once, instead of animal detritus and blood, I’d like to see a coyote who probably said to himself, “That’s it. I’ve eaten enough cats” and just dropped by the side of the road. As it is now, instead of a garage sale announcement taped to the stop sign on the corner, I fully expect to see a picture of a squirrel along with the caption, “Have you seen Bob? Needs medication…Reward Offered.” I feel the same way about fish because I wouldn’t be surprised if, at the bottom of the ocean, there were millions of tiny milk cartons with fish on the side, “MISSING. Last seen wearing scales. May have had a hook in his mouth.”

It’s not really that different in business. We speak your language and offer items in many categories. IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. New brands like Alessi, Areaware and our new designer sunglasses collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars are live on our website. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. You can float through our 2015 catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Ten Design, Blunt and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…does Rosetta Stone offer whale?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
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