What Rhymes with Orange?

Donn James

Donn James

I’d like to lodge a complaint against the mothers who are running MACC. You’re all familiar with MADD, mothers against drunk driving and the good work they do. Well, MACC is mothers against colored cheese. Apparently, since our education and justice systems are in such good shape, they had nothing better to do than conspire to get Kraft to remove their beautiful orange coloring from our favorite mac and cheese. This is supposedly an effort to make it healthier. Why does everything have to be healthy? Geez, have you been to a state fair? You can buy deep-fried butter and chocolate-dipped lizard. Leave our mac and cheese alone. You people are doing everything you can to make all my food look like a prison wall. And we’re talking about macaroni and cheese, a staple of middle America. Hell, back then we thought we were rich because we were eating orange food. Besides, the only way they can truly make macaroni and cheese healthier is if they rename it…kale. That said, for the last 78 years we’ve become accustomed to Kraft Mac ‘N Cheese looking like a new paint job on a corvette…shiny and orange. Kind of like one of those spray-tanned Kardashians. Kraft macaroni and cheese was so popular back in the day, the Crayola color was actually named “macaroni and cheese.” What’s it going to be now…Hint of Kardashian?
We all wait with bated breath to see what is Kraft going to do? Are they just going to take the orange crayon shavings out of the sauce packet? The pasta never changes and it has the shelf life of Uranium. By the time that pasta is no good anymore, you’ll just throw it in your flying car and take it to the garbage dump we used to call the Atlantic Ocean and throw it away. Or we’ll all be gone and the world will be run by parasitic gerbils that exist on…macaroni and cheese. So the change has to come in the hermetically-sealed foil pouch we all pour into the boiling water because we can’t find it until we move the pasta. Then we try and fish it out without burning our fingers, dry it and put it aside until we’ve killed the pasta like a lobster. When the pasta is ‘al dente’ which in Italian means “chewy paste” we open the sauce packet and turn a sauce pan of pale, anemic, translucent elbow macaroni into a heavenly orange reward for our impending heart attack. The orange color was the most appetizing part of the meal. You take that out you might as well have a sauce packet of dirt.
In any case, I’m not sure America is ready for foods without artificial dyes and preservatives. If they take artificial colors out of cereal, it will just look like the cardboard it already tastes like. The downside of this movement is that if they take all the fake colors out of gummi worms, they’ll just look like real worms and kids will just eat more of them. We just celebrated Easter, a pretty important holiday in some religions and one of the tenets of the religion decrees that you celebrate it with blue, yellow, green and red marshmallow animals like chicks and bunnies. In fact, in one of the books in the New Testament it says, “There shall be Peeps of many colors.” Look it up.

It’s not really that different in business. We offer colorful items in many categories and IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. New brands like Alessi, Areaware and our new designer sunglasses collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars are live on our website. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about What's New?click on the tab and see. We also have our 2015 catalog ready to ship and you can move through the IMC catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Kikkerland, MOVA, Cerruti and Blackpen. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…what color would you say that is?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

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