I’m Not Getting Any Younger

Donn James

Donn James

Please don’t tell me, “It’s a no-brainer” because I automatically think anyone who says that is perfectly equipped for the job. I also cringe every time someone shows me a picture and tells me it’s a picture of them taken when they were younger. Isn’t that the basic premise of all photography? You’re capturing a moment in time that as soon as you click…is gone. Until we fine-tune that whole time travel thing, I’m pretty sure every picture taken, is of you when you were younger. I’d like to get it to work though, because it would be fun to watch some kid look at a picture of an old man and ask, “Really? Is that me? Crap, I better start working out.” Now, I have been to the future but I’ve somehow misplaced the photo of me when I’m the President of the World and I’m telling you all what to do. But as soon as I find it, you have to start listening to me.
Why is every loaf of bread I buy now double-wrapped? It shouldn’t be this hard to make a sandwich. It’s bad enough that I have to undo this plastic puzzle just to get the plastic bag open and I can never do it without pinching my thumb. And I can’t reuse it because I’ve either bent it so badly it’s now worthless as a bread lock or it has just snapped from my massive strength and sandwich eagerness, rendering it just as worthless. But when I finally open the bag and I reach inside for a couple of slices, I realize I’m still bread-blocked because the whole loaf is still wrapped tighter than King Tut. And the inside wrap is way tougher than the plastic bag. It’s harder to open than a DVD. The ends are heat-sealed or super-glued like it’s protecting the recipe for Coke and you have to tear your way in like you’re trying to break through a spider’s web. It’s like a cruel prank and the worst part is when I finally get my slices of bread; I have to perform the same acts just to get a slice of cheese. Hey, I can’t carry my groceries around in a plastic bag anymore but there’s enough plastic around bread and cheese to wallpaper Nebraska. What’s up with that?
Clothing manufacturers are starting to drive me crazier than normal and we certainly don’t always see eye to eye on fashion. For instance, I don’t wear cargo shorts because I just don’t have little pieces of cargo to carry around. Cargo denotes a mass of something substantial. Cargo is like a pallet full of cheese we’re sending to Appalachia, not my iPhone and car keys. And have you noticed that sizes always seem to fluctuate between manufacturers so something tagged small but made in Sri Lanka may be loose on a leprechaun, while the same T-shirt made in Romania might strangle a moose. And what happened when we named the sizes? Small, medium and large are okay but I can’t figure out if we just got lazy, politically correct or just ran out of words because then we go to X-large and XX-large and XXX-large. Is  large the biggest word we want to say out loud or was it because things like humongous and ginormous and brontosaurus were already taken? Personally, I think it’s because people used to just come in small, medium and large and if you were smaller than small, you just shopped at Babies ‘r Us. But now, thanks to Hostess, McDonald’s and Papa John’s, we now come in what we might as well call “expanded sizes” and we don’t want to offend anyone who might sit on us. I wear X-large and, until now, have been quite comfortable with that but I probably feel better about myself than if I had to go into a store and look for shirts marked, “Yikes.”

It’s not really that different in business. Spring is here and IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. New brands like Alessi, Areaware and our new designer sunglass collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars are live on our website. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious aboutWhat's New? click on the tab and see. We also have our 2015 catalog ready to ship and you can move through the IMC catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, HighWave, Fluxmob and Redwear. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…are you getting any younger?

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About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I’m Not Getting Any Younger

  1. There seems to be a trend on Twitter of attaching a college day photo of oneself. At some point these should be classified as avatars. 😉

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