I’ve now arrived at the point in my life where I ask everyone I’m with “Is there a line to get in?” because I’m just so tired of standing in line. I feel like I’ve been in one line after another my entire life, practically since birth. The only thing worse would to have been the second of twins so I would have had to wait in the womb. So, technically my first line was to get that fingerprint ink all over my toes so they could give my parents that silly picture of my foot.
You’re in lines all through school; lines to get into class, lines to ride the teeter-totter or use the sink to make paper mache. In college you have to get in lines to try and get classes you can’t pass and lines to get into bars where they don’t look too closely at your ID. In school, even when they do things by alphabetical order…it’s just another line. Don’t believe it? When a Mom makes 36 cupcakes for a class of 38, just ask little Beth Zeolla how she feels about that.
I get all dressed in the morning to go to the airport and stand in line to buy a ticket. Then I stand in another line because I have to prove I am really…me. Then I stand in another line because I have to strip down for the TSA screening and I’m thinking, “But I just put all this stuff on to come here” and I wonder if I should just fly in my robe because I’m now standing in line half-naked with no shoes, waiting to go into a machine and put my hands over my head, looking even more like a homeless guy being arrested for vagrancy. Have you ever noticed that most of the time you’re standing in line…it’s to do something you really don’t want to do? I’m in line at the DMV and I have an appointment and my number is 53 and they’re serving #8. This is where they need TSA screening because people all around me are starting to reach for weapons. Or I’m in Costco waiting to pay for my pallet of toilet paper and string cheese. On top of that I have a preschooler behind me doing his best to destroy my Achilles tendon by ramming me with his mom’s cart while she’s on the phone arranging a bouncy castle for his birthday.
Too often I find myself in a line to buy tickets for something where I’m going to have to stand in another line to get in. Like the County Fair. You stand in line to buy tickets and then you stand in line to go through the turnstile and you have to slide through that backward and sideways so the bar doesn’t whack you in the crotch. Once you’re inside you realize you’ve been standing in line so long that you now have to stand in the line for the port-o-johns. Then you have a little deep-fried bacon and beer and you’re back in line for the port-o-johns.
Here’s a tip for when you’re in line. Leave a gap please. You don’t have to be as far behind me that a herd of reindeer could pass between us but conversely, I don’t want my neck hairs curling because your breath is making them try to run and hide. We’re in line for the port-o-johns at the County Fair. The smell is supposed to be worse in front of me. I’m having enough trouble with the deep-fried crap I ate; I don’t want to smell the deep-fried crap you ate. If I can reach into my pocket and feel your hand, you’re way too close. There’s nothing wrong with leaving a gap. I’m not going to let anybody have “cuts.” It’s not like we’re in line because they’re giving away money.
We stand in lines to order and pay at McDonald’s and then wait in line for our order to be wrong. Then we wait in another line with all the people who got their orders wrong. Then you eat the food you shouldn’t have waited in line to buy. So don’t be surprised when you’re in line for an ambulance after your arteries seize shut. Then you’ll be dead, standing in line to see St. Peter and when you’re finally at the front of the line, St. Peter will tell you, “Hey, you’re in the wrong line.”
It’s not really that different in business. Spring is nearly upon us and IMC hopes you’re enjoying our new retail brands and products for the industry. New brands like Alessi, Areaware and our new designer sunglass collection from Bobby Jones, Carmen Marc Valvo and Michael Stars are live on our website. And we’ll continue to treat our customers professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. If you’re curious about click on the tab and see. We also have our 2015 catalog ready to ship and you can move through the IMC catalog from category to category and find many products that will accent your client’s event and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. Go to the Catalog page of the IMC website and put your order in and we’ll get them to you. Let us know if you’d like samples. We want to help you make sense of your client’s request so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2015 IMC catalog is live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 48 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Troika, Umbra, Cerruti and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,300+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is this a lineup?