Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so this is the last chance I have to wish those of you not shopping on Thursday or Friday a Happy Thanksgiving because by this time tomorrow I will be asleep on the couch with pie on my lap and it’s clearly conceivable that nap will extend well into Friday depending on the shelf life of tryptophan as it, and the turkey course their way through my digestive system. I have turkeys brining now and they’ll go into the smoker in the morning as I prepare to pay tribute to the pilgrims who were kicked out of Europe 393 years ago. If that’s what it takes I should tell you I was kicked out of the cub scouts so somebody owes me a banquet. I know you were probably taught the pilgrims left willingly for religious freedom or some such nonsense but Europe couldn’t wait to get rid of them and their silly outfits. The French even held up a sign that said, “Don’t let the boat hit you on your way out.” While few of us are descended from pilgrims (I have no shoes with buckles), we all have much for which to be thankful. The pilgrims were thankful for living through the winter although they were hoping for a Costco. Europe was thankful for getting the pilgrims out but was even more thankful when we started shipping them tobacco. The Indians were thankful for…uh…for…uh…I’ll get back to you on that.
We all should be thankful for many things and if you look around and can’t find anything you should be thankful for, you’re just an ungrateful wretch and…no green bean casserole for you! That’ll teach you. I’m always thankful for the green bean casserole, because it’s the best, and the other side dishes we’ve invented that seem to be holiday specific. Who invented that? Who’s the genius that said, “What if we mixed these beans with cream of mushroom soup. And maybe sprinkled some almonds and fried onions on top?” That’s Nobel Prize kind of thinking and I don’t think credit was given. And you just don’t have stuffing and sweet potato casserole…you know, the one with a layer of marshmallows hiding it, every day. Many are unaware this side dish was invented to give us a sugar rush to counteract the turkey so we don’t just fall asleep with our face in our plate. And the ambrosia…where you dump in all this fruit and whatever marshmallows you have left over from the sweet potatoes, toss in some sour cream and coconut flakes and call it a salad. What a concept. Is it any wonder we need a forklift to back our chair away from the table and a crane to pull us into what passes for an upright position just so we can stumble to the couch and ask for pie?
So, please join me in giving thanks for family, friends, food, drink and everything else in your life. If you have the crazy uncle or aunt we all do, just put them in a chair in the corner and put one of your cats on their lap. They’ll be fine and they’re usually harmless and you probably have other cats if their meds run out. I wish you the happiest of Thanksgivings with plenty of good company, food and drink, no visits to the emergency room or police station and, dare I say it, leftover green bean casserole. Seriously, family, food, football…it’s the Thanksgiving trifecta.
Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels from all your friends at IMC and we’ll see you all in December.