I’ve been conducting an arduous search this week for common sense and I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve looked everywhere, governments, educational institutions, left and right leaning publications and news shows but it appears to have escaped this Earthly zoo. If you find it, there’s probably a reward available if you can capture it. I’ll keep searching but that doesn’t mean I’m a control freak because I don’t care if you do it wrong. It’s not really a case of my way or the highway and I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to show you how to do it unless you ask and even then your chances are only 50/50. As long as it’s not going to cost me a limb, I’m fine if you want to do it wrong. I don’t try and argue with people, I just tell them why I’m right. I don’t think it’s laziness but the last time a person called me lazy, I was too tired to respond. I prefer to think of it as energy conservation and I’m considered a master at pacing myself. And I rarely pay attention to what most people think because I know they don’t do it that often. In fact, finding someone with common sense is so rare, the next person I find with it should be made a Super Hero and put in the next Avengers movie. I can’t believe there’s not a “common sense” action figure being sold at WalMart. Well, they probably have it but nobody can figure out where it goes.
On another note, I’ve survived a number of years and I have friends of the same age and we’re still trying to figure out when “Old enough to know better” is going to kick in because I also know a lot of us can’t seem to wait to make our next bad decision. Shockingly, I am not immune to this calamity and I can’t count the times I’ve done something moronic and thought to myself, “I may be too stupid to live.” We all try and learn from our mistakes but some are catching on faster than others. Cases in point: they’re called yoga pants…not restaurant pants or Costco pants. Even anorexic, veganized yogis don’t look good in them…and they only wear them because they don’t own anything else. And fedoras are still stupid. Don’t wear them. They were stupid in 1890 when they were invented by an Irish guy who was trying to design a cowboy hat for leprechauns. So, if you are committing any of these crimes or any of a million other things like hogging the passing lane when you’re not passing anyone, you might be what my friend calls a slinky. He doesn’t really think you’re good for anything but he can’t help but smile when he pushes you down a flight of stairs. You might think this harsh but with some people you just can’t help but adopt the stance that…I’m not saying your opinion doesn’t matter; it just doesn’t matter to me.
I’ve been cleverly disguised as an adult for some time now and I’m certainly convinced that you can’t reach my age without a dose of cynicism but my sarcasm is now to the point where even I don’t know if I’m kidding or not. I do encourage you to not make the mistakes I have made and I have learned some things I’d like to share. 1. If I agree with you I probably don’t think you’re right, I just want to shut you up. 2. As you age you will find yourself enjoying things you hated as a kid…like asparagus…and naps. 3. Remember, the police never think it’s as funny as you do.
I know I’m getting older because the elevator music these days is starting to sound pretty good. And even the music in the grocery store is recognizable because I’m now buying my yogurt to the tune of Jackson Browne’s Runnin’ on Empty. Even as I age I don’t think I’m…Hey, I smell bacon…more easily distracted than I used to be but I could…Look, a puppy!…be wrong.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has many products and we’ll get you what you want even if we have some suggestions on how to make it more rewarding. We want to help you make sense of your client’s event so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. We have processes in place to assemble your order and deliver it with no surprises. We are hard at work on the 2015 catalog which will have tons of new items from our collections and existing brands and some brand new retail brands. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog or Holiday Flyer on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Stewart/Stand, Umbra and Orangebag. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…what are you wearing?