So it’s a new week and we are still in the middle of a drought because apparently California is treating clouds just like plastic bags and banning them. Compounding the problem this week was the fact we had a couple of days that were so hot that everybody I passed smelled like bacon. I know you think we exaggerate when we say, “I’m melting” but we have been advised to start carrying our dental records around so they can identify the bodies. Driving the freeways feels like racing through a tire graveyard as rubber is just melting off the wheels and yesterday my spare change actually did burn a hole in my pocket. As I left the house this morning the tree in my front yard asked me to send the dogs out because he needed a drink. Restaurants have taken down their “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” signs just to get business and the phrase “casual dress” now includes nudity. We’re past the midpoint of September and it’s even too hot to laugh at people in Buffalo as they pull their snowplows out of the garage.
Because I coach, I have to keep an eye on the weather so I’m supposed to pay attention to the “Heat Index.” It’s some sort of complicated formula devised by someone sitting in an air-conditioned office somewhere laughing at me. The heat index takes the temperature and humidity and tells you how hot it feels and advises you how much exercise is recommended. I miss the days when you could just run kids until they threw up. Now I have to do math and I think they’ve just invented this calculation to take my mind off the fact that the hair on my forearm just spontaneously combusted. But they do it in the winter also when they give you the temperature and the “Wind Chill” like it matters to you. In fact, just stop telling us the temperature because all we care about is what it feels like so stop making us do math. In southern California this week we’re wetter when we get out of the shower than when we went in and the penguins at the LA Zoo are putting on sunscreen. We can figure it out.
If we can just get the weather people to stop pretending they’re smart by trying to explain heat index and wind chill, the weather report will be shorter and we’ll have more time for important stuff like sports. It doesn’t help that the people trying to explain what it feels like are the ex-beauty queens who are currently in vogue on all the TV channels. Now I have someone whose last job was standing around in a tiara and a smile judging deep-fried yogurt at the mid-county fair trying to explain a formula she doesn’t understand while I have hot water coming out of both taps and my sweat is sweating. Although, I do like the women better because the old men TV used to have, had this kind of lacquered, plastic hair and stupid names like Rocky Mountain, Windy River and Storm Weather. They all thought it was catchy but the names were better suited for exotic dancers. Without being gender-biased, both sexes are wrong more than they’re right, mainly because they’re standing in a studio working on their pose while I’m in my garage trying to climb into the freezer to cool off. They’re in an air-conditioned room and I’m in page 408 of Dante’s Inferno.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has many products and many are hot but we won’t burn you on the price; some are so popular that they’ve been around for generations. We want to heat up your client’s event so we offer choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. We have processes in place to assemble your order and deliver it with no surprises. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream up to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog or Holiday Flyer on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Troika, Ten Design, Finelife and Bluetech. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is it warm enough for you?