I know it’s the middle of September in certain parts of the world but here in southern California it hasn’t rained since Christmas and we find ourselves in the middle of a drought, so why am I forced to move over a lane on the freeway because some giant water truck is lumbering down the road watering the shoulder of the highway? There’s nothing on the shoulder except broken hubcaps. Are they trying to make them grow? I can’t go two miles down a road with a median without a misaligned sprinkler spraying my car with water so you can see how the level of frustration can magnify in these situations. I can only water on special days, I’m likely to get a fine if I spit on the sidewalk and it’s comparable to a capital crime if I try to wash my car, but a city-owned sprinkler can go off like an oil gusher in Dubai. I think the next time I’m allowed to take a shower is October 7th. I can do it earlier but I have to boil my own urine. You can only get water in a restaurant now if you hold the waiter hostage or give up a child as collateral.
It would be a little more understandable if I were living outside Yuma with a pack of scorpions and while I’m doing my best to conserve water and hope to see some clouds before Thanksgiving, I think we tend to forget that we have a gigantic ocean in our backyards. Am I the only one who’s noticed? It’s called the Pacific and, I’m told, there’s one just like it on the east coast, both significantly larger than the pool at the Y. So where are all the desalinization plants? And don’t give me any crap about it being too expensive. That’s lame because you’re going to make us pay for it anyway. You can now buy a 60” TV for about the price of a Happy Meal, computers are so cheap now we don’t even have them repaired anymore, we just toss them and buy a new one and you can buy a year’s supply of ketchup at Costco for less than a gallon of gas, so stop whining about the costs and get it done. Are we too stupid to figure it out? It’s water with salt and we want to make it water without salt. How hard can it be? This is America…we’ve successfully put peach and raspberry juice into vodka and cinnamon into whiskey. Even the British have managed to combine lemonade and beer. It should be easy to take something out of water. Water companies say they filter their water so they must have some idea of how it’s done. Here’s the deal…Apple just came out with a watch that measures my blood pressure, heart rate, checks my liver and bank account, and we can’t figure out how to take salt out of water. That is unacceptable. Doctors are fixing hearts by going in through the leg and we just took pictures of clouds on Mars. I just think we’re not asking the right people.
Thank God it’s Friday and I can water when I get home because when I left this morning my grass was gasping for breath and one blade yelled at me, “Why have you forsaken us?” I tried to explain to them about the regulations but they kept whining about “cruel and unusual punishment” and threatening to call Gloria Allred. As if that wasn’t bad enough, before I got to my car our neighborhood water busybody walked by and complained about my leaky hose while her poodle used my yard as a bathroom.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has many products, none are watered-down and some are so popular that they’ve been around for generations. We want your clients to have choices between new products and classic items so they can make presentations memorable. And IMC cares that your order is correct so we keep lots of products around that are suitable for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. We have processes in place to assemble your order and deliver it with no surprises. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog or Holiday Flyer on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the
section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Stewart/Stand, Umbra and Blackpen. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…didn’t water used to be free?