May I Borrow Your Scissors?

Donn James

Donn James

If we’ve learned anything, we’ve learned that Alice was right when she uttered the immortal line, “Curiouser and curiouser.” I just bought a 2-pack of scissors because well…I needed scissors. The irony is that if you don’t have scissors, you can’t open the package of scissors, so now I need to borrow scissors to get to my new scissors. I got so frustrated I ran over the package with my car trying to get into it. When I stopped the car and picked up the package, I noticed I had broken one of the pair of scissors but the packaging was just fine thank you. Dr. House diagnosed diseases quicker than I can get into this package. What’s the deal with all the packaging and who’s to blame? Somebody get me their number! Why is it we can never react but we always manage to overreact? We don’t need our scissors baby proofed. Are there preschoolers around here making runs to Staples to shoplift scissors? Then selling them to elementary school kids so they can cut their own hair?
It wasn’t always this hard and the types of products with packaging that require an instruction book from Ikea to get open has expanded exponentially over the years. When I’m in a hurry, I shouldn’t need a machete handy to break into the 6-pack of Charmin’ I just bought at Costco. Maybe Costco is working with manufacturers to screw with us because the 8-pack of Kleenex is another puzzler. You need a tiny little stick of dynamite and a detonator just to blow through the plastic wrapping and then each box is plastic wrapped and you can’t get into it without a chain saw or fingernails filed to a razor-thin thickness. Then you run into this cardboard lid that is supposed to be perforated for easy removal but it never is and once you peel and pry your way through it, there’s another plastic barrier to crack. Finally, you again use your razor-sharp fingernail to separate what you think is the top tissue and you end up pulling about 40 of them out at one time. I think they just want us to use them up faster. Like when shampoos say, Shampoo, rinse, repeat. And it shouldn’t be easier to get into the country illegally than it is to get into a pack of peanut butter and cheese crackers. Here are your choices:  climb over or tunnel under a barbed wire fence and play Frogger across 8 lanes of freeway traffic orrrrr…bundle yourself in a down sleeping bag and freeze your butt off in the wheel well of a 747 to get from Somewhereistan to San Francisco orrrrr…try and open a bottle of aspirin.
Medicine bottles present a particular incongruity as you need to get into them to benefit from the prescription but you need to call the bomb squad just to get the damned bottle open. I have friends with arthritis so bad they can’t even give directions because they can’t get their fingers to point. These are guys wearing slippers to the opera because they can’t tie their shoes. Seriously, these are people whose hands are permanent shadow puppets, yet they have a bottle of arthritis pills harder to get into than show business. It’s like watching Wyle E. Coyote trying to catch the roadrunner seeing them trying to get into the bottle. They’re required to squeeze and twist at the same time which requires both hands and if they finally navigate the cap, they have to pierce a protective seal made out of aluminum and then there’s this giant wad of cotton that’s been packed in the bottle like somebody tried to stuff toothpaste back into the tube. I have the same problem getting into a new bottle of Listerine. Why? Are they afraid I’m going to get hooked on it? Just because it has alcohol in it? It still tastes like crap and you’d have to swallow the equivalent of the Red Sea just to get a buzz.

It’s not really that different in business. IMC has many packaging options but you can open every one without hurting yourself. We want your clients to be able to give and receive something that doesn’t require a power tool to enjoy. And IMC cares that your order is correct and we keep lots of products around for your events but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and jump in to help you with decisions about products and decorations. We have processes in place to assemble your order and we won’t put it on a disguise. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to earn and learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog or Holiday Flyer on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the  section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone.  IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Finelife and Orangebag. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…can you help me get this open?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Brands, Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

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