While I am happy everyone survived the 4th, I was none the less disturbed by some events taking place around the country under the guise of patriotism. Folks…you can’t just hang a flag in the background of your event and call yourselves patriots.
I bore witness to an event on the 4th so heinous as to signal the impending destruction of our society and I fully expect when historians look back millions of years from now, instead of calling this era Homo Erectus as we believe, this era will be called, Homo Idiotus? This event is the reason aliens fly by and don’t even pull into Earth to stop at 7-11 for snacks. Where alien moms yell at dads, “Don’t stop there! We have children in the spaceship!” Where 3rd world countries openly gape at us and think, “How’d they get to be a world power?” I am, of course, talking about Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest. We clearly have found the bottom of the barrel. Just because hot dogs can be a staple for many on the 4th doesn’t mean shoving 61 of them down your throat in 10 minutes qualifies you for a merit badge in patriotism. It’s like someone was sitting around thinking, “Health care is calming down so how can we embarrass ourselves even more?” This event is so crass it makes wrestling look legitimate. And they televised it on ESPN as if it were a sport. When did stuffing yourself with mysterious and undefined parts of a cow become a sport? Did I miss the memo? Just because the governing body of eaters is called Major League Eating doesn’t make it a sport. ESPN needs to stop trying to be a slick travel guide for families with helicopter pads on their yachts and focus on bringing us real sports. It just doesn’t take that much eye-hand coordination to shove some mystery meat down your gullet. And now they’ve made it easy because you can soak the buns in water. That just makes it like the paste we all ate in Kindergarten. Eating a wet hot dog bun is like eating a roll of wet toilet paper. Without the flavor. You might as well be a vegetarian.
They actually talked to some of the contestants about their…training regimen…their words, not mine because I couldn’t say it with a straight face but it’s apparently quite comprehensive. They eat, then eat some more, then eat some more but when real athletes talk about hitting the wall and breaking through it, these eaters are talking about their colon. There were even spectators at the event but I think they were just like some hockey fans that want to see fights and these people just wanted to see someone throw up. I really don’t understand the time thing. I’m constantly harangued for eating slowly anyway but I don’t the need for a speed element in the contest. They’ve turned it into the 100-yard dash of eating and I couldn’t eat 61 M&Ms in 10 minutes and the damned things melt in your mouth.
This is the sort of crap we need to nip in the bud because the guy who won is some sort of eating legend…his mother must be so proud. I can only imagine three old ladies sitting around the lounge of their retirement home talking about their prized offspring…the doctor, the lawyer…the eater??? Well, he proposed to his girlfriend at the event and she is also a competitive eater so I guess it was kismet. Of course, even having a “Women’s Division” means that idiocy is not gender biased. I just don’t think we can afford a generation of competitive eaters giving birth to another generation of competitive eaters. Pretty soon we’ll have kids crawling around in the sand box betting on who can eat the most dirt in 10 minutes. It will spread like the E-coli virus of stupidity.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC might propose some unusual items for your event but we’ll let you decide what works best for you and help you with decisions about products and decorations. We have processes in place to assemble your order just right with a minimum of questions and no indigestion. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration or a hot dog eating contest, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to earn and learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the
section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Goodfaire, Z Windups, Ten Designand Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is it time for lunch?