Because you can’t be on the internet and not be assaulted by a cat doing something someone thought was cute (they were wrong), I thought I’d bring a little reality to light and explain the truth about cats by telling you about the 2 residing under my roof. Although I’m allergic to them, their close proximity over the years has embodied me with some sort of an immune defense so unless they sleep on my face, I’m okay. Not that anyone cares. Apparently, an EpiPen and medicine cabinets full of Benadryl are a small price to pay for their company.
I still claim we were conned by the shelter when we got them because they always make you feel like this will be their last day if you don’t give them a “forever” home. Like if you don’t take them today, their next stop is cat heaven. The shelters couldn’t be any more blatant unless they put tiny little nooses around their necks. Our 2 were about 6 months old and caged together with a sign that said, “We’re sisters, please adopt us together.” I thought it was nice that they spoke English but then I remembered they were cats and they weren’t going to listen to me anyway. To further explain…one is about a 2 pound Siamese and the “sister” is an 18 pound Calico so it’s like telling me a giraffe and a basset hound are brothers. So I raised at least one eyebrow at the “sisters” claim but I was assured by the shelter volunteer, who didn’t look like she spent her spare time solving equations, that cats could have multi-breed litters; further enhancing my belief that cats are morally corrupt. Anyway, while I was busy sneezing, my daughter signed the papers and loaded the cats into the car and the volunteer pointed me to the cashier when all I wanted was some fresh air. Since I knew I would lose any “them or me” battle, we now have 2 cats.
Now, while I don’t like to generalize and maybe it’s just my pair but cats have to be the laziest genus on the planet. If I posted a video of them, you would think they were dead. These 2 make Garfield look like Richard Simmons. Neither of our cats is chasing its tail or playing the piano. I saw one of them move the other day and I thought she might be having a seizure but it turned out to be a cramp and she was just rolling over. I got a laser pointer just to mess with them but all it did was confuse the dogs and make the cats yawn. One is so lazy the only exercise she gets is to wander to the laundry room so she can fall asleep on the pile of warm towels…while I’m trying to fold them. Wait, I have more. They are so lazy I have to provide 2 litter boxes, upstairs and downstairs, just so they don’t have to go too far to go. They sleep about 27 hours a day and only take a break from that to eat. I feed them every morning and God help me if I’m late because they’re at my door yelling, “Hey, where’s breakfast?” And early on they decided they didn’t want to drink out of the water bowls or toilets like everyone else so now, when they’re thirsty, they sit in any sink in the house until we turn on the faucet so they can have running water. They have not 1…2…3…but 4 cat trees placed in different rooms of the house so they can look out windows and laugh as the peasants walk by. And I’m afraid that over the years the Siamese has become addicted to ribbon and she eats any she finds. so I’m always walking around the house picking up hairballs that look like really tiny Christmas presents.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC will let you go at your own pace and help you with decisions about products and decorations and we have processes in place to assemble your order just right with a minimum of questions and no extra movement. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to earn and learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Wedgwood, Blunt and Redwear. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…do you know anyone this lazy?