You can talk about the heat inside your car if you don’t crack the windows. You can talk about not being able to put your hands on the steering wheel until you run the air conditioning for a couple of minutes but if there was ever an argument for covered parking…this is it. This greeted me as I left the office yesterday and after I stifled my gag reflex, I started thinking. Did somebody just spill a vanilla milkshake? Or was I a target because I think pigeons are just rats with feathers? Maybe I was just a victim of the randomness of nature? Looking at the size of the deposit, I also wondered if pterodactyls were really extinct. I also thought maybe, during the course, of my lifetime, I’d used the phrase “If pigs had wings” too often and it was coming back to haunt me. I even looked up in case there was a Canadian goose or dragon flying by. And, of course, when you see something so voluminous you can’t help but wonder what they had for dinner. I walked around my car and noticed some other minor deposits and assorted road grime and I realized it was time to visit the car wash…before it started dissolving the paint.
Luckily, Southern California is where car washes go to die. We have more car washes than liquor stores and I will leave it for you to decide if that’s a good thing. Jeez, we give directions based on car wash locations…turn right just past the car wash and turn left when you get to the next car wash. Can’t miss it, it’s like two minutes away. We like our cars clean here. See, we’re always in them eating and drinking, applying makeup, shaving, reading the paper, answering emails and texts…sort of a home away from home thing, so we like them tidy. We actually think less of a person if their car isn’t clean because we’re well… car snobs. And around here you need your car clean in self-defense because if you can write on your car…we will. And it will be something both witty and cruel like “Wash this car or move back to Arkansas.” Or if you have a dirty white car somebody, not me mind you, might write, “Also available in white.” I also like, “Is Waldo in here somewhere?”
I believe car washes are the boon and bane of Southern California because you have to navigate a myriad of people and questions just to get the bird crap off your car. For their ease and the fact you don’t have to do it yourself, you have to pick a fragrance (which usually nauseates someone in the family) and dodge all the upsells like carpet cleaning. All you can do is say no, the bird didn’t crap in the car, it crapped on the car. After a cursory vacuuming, which apparently doesn’t work on dirt, your car disappears although you try and follow it to make sure they don’t steal all the change in your center console. While it’s gone you have to wend your way through the mini mall of crap which includes postcard racks, poorly-made car mats and hundreds of car air fresheners, all of which smell like you sprayed Febreze on a frog, just to get to the counter and pay. Then, twenty minutes later your car reappears, decrapped and looking like new. It’s like magic before your eyes. A few dollars of bribe money to the towel guy with the bottle of tire cleaner hanging from his pocket and you’re on your way with a smile on your face…and you turn onto the main road to get home and you get behind someone who’s decided now’s the time to stick his arm out his window and pour out his warm, 32-ounce, blue raspberry Slushie.
It’s not really that different in business. At IMC, we keep our products and decorating areas pretty clean and we spend every work day trying to serve your needs. We know you have deadlines and we’ll do everything we can to meet the date promised so you can clean up. So whatever you want, however you want it, will be right and on time because we have processes in place to assemble your order so you won’t have to worry about it. We have thousands of useful products for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We have calendars so we know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. Even if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Troika, Leuchtturm, HighWave and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…where did you park?