The big news in my neighborhood is that a black bear was killed trying to cross the freeway down the street from my house, so it doesn’t look like we got the wildlife bridge built in time for him. We hear the intermittent cries for land bridges for wildlife but I don’t expect it will happen just because Yogi wants to go to the beach. But, as it turns out…you can dodge a bullet easier than you can dodge a Prius. He might have been good at finding honey or a lost boy scout but he clearly had a problem computing time and space. He would have had to cross five lanes going each way so unless he was trying to beat somebody’s high score in the reality version of “Frogger,” he was in trouble as soon as he stepped off the shoulder. Typically, you’d think you’re more likely to hit a bear with your RV as you traverse the Yukon Highway rather than in Southern California. Even for us locals, a black bear is a little larger than things like raccoons or ladders that we are used to hitting, unless you count that queen-sized mattress I bounced over the other day. Suffice to say, a black bear trying to cross the 101 would, at least, be deemed…unusual. I know it’s sometimes hard to believe we have wildlife as we gaze out over our ocean of concrete but we do…although we have one less now. Hey, we have the ocean, two mountain ranges and almost every street is named after a canyon or forest so we shouldn’t be too shocked that animals roam around…or slither. Around here, when you hear that scream in the night, it’s not because your beagle just made friends with that coyote.
It didn’t take long for people to begin postulating about what the bear was doing. Well, he tried to cross a freeway and nobody who has ever tried that has succeeded because…if it’s moving on a California freeway, we’ll hit it. It’s really the only time our aim is any good. Some think he was trying to go from the Santa Susana Mountains to the Santa Monica Mountains but I think he was just trying to get out of Simi Valley. See, they’re much more conservative than we are and, as such, are much more likely to shoot first and ask questions later. On this side of the Santa Susana’s we’re more likely to try and tranquilize him, give him bus money to get to the mountains in Ojai where he can hassle the hippies up there.
I feel sorry for the bear, not that it does him any good now, but bears are large animals and they don’t make good pets. It’s not like you run into them on your way to Pizza Hut and you’re never sitting on a bench in a park feeding them day-old bread. And they’re carnivores which means…they eat meat. Look in the mirror people…you are meat. They’re not the friendly cartoons you see in the toilet paper commercials and Goldilocks was just a light snack. I know you’ve all seen the videos of a bear sitting in a tree looking all cute and cuddly. It’s all fun and games then, but it’s a different story when he’s walking across your back yard and you can’t find your cat.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC goes the right way on freeways and we use freeway overpasses every work day to serve you and your clients. We run those freeways because we know you have deadlines and we’ll do everything we can to meet the date promised. So whatever you want will be right and on time because we have processes in place to assemble your order so you won’t have to worry about it. We have thousands of useful products for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We have calendars so we know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. Even if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Fred & Friends, Ten Design, Cerruti and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…what did you barely miss?