Thanks For The Warning…

Donn James

Donn James

I just read that there is now a bicycle alarm that warns you if a car gets too close and I wondered just what the warning would be, maybe something like…”Look out.  You’re about to die?”  Isn’t that like someone telling you to duck just as the baseball hits you in the face?  Or, “watch out…I accidentally dropped an atom bomb.  Run!”  And why are we catering to bikers?  We don’t even like them.  We think they are privileged, snotty, snooty jerks who think they own the road.  And they’re always cranky because of the chafing and they’re wearing stupid shirts with enough logos to finance the Super Bowl.  Why don’t we care about that deer?  I’m sure he would have liked some kind of early warning system just before he jumped in front of my car.  And you can’t drive a mile down a Texas highway without seeing what’s left of an armadillo.  PETA will protest anything…someone give them a call.
Curiously, cyclists are all nice and friendly in their letters to the editor talking about sharing and everybody getting along but when they’re on the road in a pack, they make Godzilla look like a field mouse.  Aliens looking at us from space probably see these lines of cyclists and think they are an ant colony heading back to the queen.  Cyclists want to share the road, which apparently means they get to ignore every rule drivers have to follow, running every red light in the southland with impunity and swearing at us if we should deign to turn left when we have the green arrow.  Their hands only come off the handlebars long enough to flip someone off.  Seriously, anything that slows them down so much that they have to snap their stupid little shoe out the lock on their pedal is treated as an affront and imposition in their lives.  We outsiders would like to opine that if you are in that big of a hurry…get in a CAR.
We also need to revisit the issue of the outfits that cyclists are wearing.  The shoes are like Peter Pan booties and they have to waddle around like ducks to get anywhere.  And they’re noisy.  I hate having a pack of them clickety-clacking around in Starbuck’s because it sounds like the rejects of an audition for Riverdance.  It’s like somebody is trying to teach a herd of yaks to tap dance.  I always look around just in case there are a couple of 8-year olds practicing with castanets.  I’ve mentioned the shirt which was fashioned after a billboard and it has a pocket in the back, probably for drugs, since I don’t trust cyclists anyway.  The shorts are some kind of a Bermuda legging that are so tight as to embarrass any sane person but they appear oblivious since the endorphin created during the ride has erased any cognitive, self-respect nerve they might have had.  They top it all off with a helmet that looks like it’s been carved out of half a watermelon.  Really, this is a monstrosity you can’t believe doesn’t have a propeller of top of it, but I guess it’s the perfect size to hold their brain after I tap them with my front right fender.
I’m all for getting along and there should be room for everyone on the road, no matter how silly they look.  But red means stop and if you don’t, you’re sleek composition of titanium and rubber is liable to look like modern art on someone’s lawn while you’re being loaded into an ambulance.  The other solution is to take up mountain biking.  That way you’re only dodging horses and dogs and, of course, anything they might leave behind on the trail.

It’s not really that different in business.  IMC will work side by side with you and we’ll keep it together and it will be right and on time, rolling smoothly along because we have processes in place to assemble your order so you won’t have to wonder which way to turn.  We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season.  We have calendars so we know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order.  Even if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be.  And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers.  Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them.  We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day.  We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients.  You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some.  And all of our new items are visible in the  section of our website.  The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs.  It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone.  IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI.  Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients.  See great ideas and items from Visconti, Finelife, Paperthinksand Orangebag.  We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients.  We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or TwitterIMC wants to know…how many wheels are under you?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Business Gifts, Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

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