I think everyone knows I’m a pretty upbeat kind of a guy. I constantly have a kind word for everyone and always see the glass as half full. I have come to expect the best from my fellow man instead of being cynical, sarcastic and morose but even I get down sometimes and have a need for sage advice, wisdom or just a confederate in arms.
When I’m down and feel as though a dark cloud hangs over my head, when I need sound advice on which road to take, when I start wishfully looking at tall buildings or begin to fondle sharp instruments I do what normal people do. I don’t lock myself in a dark room and listen to Deepak Chopra books on tape. I don’t call the Vatican to get the daily message from the pope and I don’t attend a Tony Robbins seminar. I resort to the only tried and true method to get the answer to my problem. I bite into a fortune cookie. After I pull the saliva-covered strip of paper out of my mouth and try to read the message between the smudged letters, I take time to have a drink just to try and get the paper taste out of my mouth. And if you’re anything like me, then you spit trying to get the taste of the cookie out of your mouth because you think you’re chewing on a piece of glass that’s been sprayed with vanilla-scented room air freshener. While you’re burping up orange chicken you read this inane, mundane and generic sentence which is apparently the key to happiness and, these days, you also get lottery numbers, likely scientifically devised by a busboy in the kitchen with an abacus. Because no matter the nature of your problem, no matter how earth-shattering, no matter the terror-filled flux in which you find your life, once you read the message all thoughts of your problem disappear because the only thing you now think is, “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.” Yesterday I learned I have a smile that…runs right through my heart and into my soul and I thought, “I don’t think I can take that to the bank.” Who’s writing these things anyway? Is it the same people who write Hallmark cards? Maybe they have a descendant of Nostradamus chained to a typewriter in the back. That doesn’t even sound like a fortune. After I read my cookie I stole my daughter’s, mainly for the fortune but I ate the cookie anyway. Apparently they’re also addicting. Hers said…You will continue to make friends easily. Knowing me like I do, that’s likely the reason it didn’t come to me so maybe it really is scientific. Maybe there’s a guy in the back looking at the tables before he sends out the fortune cookies thinking…this cookie can’t go to that guy. And it’s also not really a fortune either is it? It’s more like a prophecy, based on a guess, supported by a supposition and bolstered by pure nonsense. And what’s with the new trend of save the world fortunes? I’ve just eaten enough to feed a large homeless shelter and I don’t want my fortune to read…Share your bounty with others. Hell, I can’t even push myself away from the table. All but the mentally challenged should notice the messages are sufficiently vague so as not to stand up in court should you decide to question the fortune that told you that you were…going to come into money. You never get the message that says…You will be hit by a bus on Tuesday. See, that’s a fortune but it’s not sufficiently vague. You’ll get the one that says…Your grandmother has a surprise for you. That could mean you’re number one in her will or she finally found the fruitcake she forgot to send you for Christmas in 1987.
For all its faults the fortune cookie is a pretty diverse product. It was invented in Japan but made in America and sold mainly to Chinese restaurants where they pass them out with the bill so you don’t notice you just paid 30 bucks for chicken mcnuggets dipped in orange juice.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC doesn’t send cookies with your order but your order will be right and on time because we have processes in place to assemble your order with a minimum of questions. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for any season. We know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Nina Ricci, Kikkerland, Presto!and Bluetech. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…have you found your fortune?