While I’d like to thank Warren Buffett for the opportunity, I am sad to report I’m not a billionaire because Harvard won yesterday. Yes, Harvard. I was shocked also. What are they doing winning a basketball game? I blame Obama. He has a unhealthy fondness for the game and these up-and-coming wannabe Cabinet members are taking notice and practicing. Harvard isn’t supposed to have athletes. They always have more conniving future politicians and judges than athletes. We’re usually worried about them slam dunking us in Congress or on Wall Street. What’s next? Is Ruth Bader Ginsburg going to hit a 3-pointer? Will Scalia make that layup? But Harvard beat Cincinnati, known more for basketball than Supreme Court judges so I’m out a billion and I was really counting on that money to buy my new yacht and now I have to keep my paper route. If this is news to you, Warren Buffett, probably because he needed a laugh, offered a prize of a billion dollars to anyone with a perfect March Madness bracket. He bought an insurance policy to cover the billion should anyone win but I just read a report that said after the end of the first round tonight, 99% of the people will have been eliminated so he’s probably safe. I’d have better luck playing the lottery and even I know that’s dumb.
I don’t even like basketball. Firstly, I have the vertical leap of an arthritic clam and secondly, it’s stupid. As coordinated as I know I am, watching me play basketball is like watching a turtle have a seizure. I mean, the basket is ten feet high and I’m not, so there. I tend to like things than I can do and that doesn’t include basketball. My son has never played basketball and pretends to like it but I think he just likes the Laker Girls. I have friends who like basketball but I know they can’t play basketball and I don’t get it. Here’s a sport where you have ten seconds to go halfway down the floor or they take the ball away from you and give it to the other team. If you do make it across the center in the ten seconds, then you have twenty-five more seconds to play with it and if you don’t do anything with it, guess what…they take the ball away from you again and give it to the other team. And they have this place on the court called the key where you can only stand for about three seconds or, guess what…they take the ball away from you and give it to the other team. Here’s the key…watch another sport. Besides, if I have to look at that many tattoos, I’d rather be drinking in a biker bar.
I do like the fact that March Madness takes place in well…March, because nothing else is happening. Football is over, baseball hasn’t started and because we have no real holidays, we’ve turned St. Patrick’s Day into a holiday. The day corned beef, cabbage and beer turns into our food pyramid. As if the United States needed another reason to drink. Ireland finally made it an official holiday because everyone was drunk and not showing up anyway. It’s not like Ireland needed a reason to have a parade. And leprechauns run too fast. Here in the Southland, it’s just an excuse to drink green alcohol. We don’t have a river to turn green like Chicago; well, we have the LA River but it never has any water. But this year the timing of St. Patrick’s Day and March Madness has upset some schedules. I have friends still sobering up from St Patrick’s Day on Monday and they had to start drinking again yesterday to watch March Madness and it lasts so long, they’ll be lucky to sober up by Easter.
It’s not really that different in business. We have thousands of products useful for many programs, events and holidays during the year so you can always find the perfect promotion for your season of madness. And we know when these holidays are celebrated so we make sure to have stock so we can fill your order. And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Troika, Finelife, Nina Ricci and Clearaward. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…did you beat the buzzer?