Can You Account for That?

Donn James

Donn James

So I met with my accountant yesterday as we near the portal to the 30 day countdown to April 15th.  I figured I’d better get an early start just in case I have to be more creative than normal.  I just hope this isn’t the last year I can claim all my dependents because my pets are aging but maybe it’s just time to re-visit the shelter and I’ve learned over the years that if you name your dog Kevin, the IRS doesn’t even blink.  I just don’t think they can blame us for being creative when every year congress cancels a bunch of deductions and by the time the tax code gets rewritten, congress puts the deductions back in.  They may as well be chanting, “nya nya,’n nya nya” while they do it.  They’re already wasting my money just being useless in congress and now they’re wasting my money by running the tax people through their hoops.  This is money that could be better spent auditing Donald Trump.  So every year accountants all over the country have to learn which deductions are out, which deductions are out but went back in and which deductions are never coming back and why are those always the ones I’m abusing?  I read an article once that said congress does that every year so the lobbyists have to come to them every year and court them with food and wine and make a donation while they beg for the deductions back.  Oddly, I’ve never read an article that refutes that.
Anyway, I entered my accountant’s cave in full daylight and didn’t leave until vampires were walking around in Westlake Village.  Do all accountants live in caves?  Or just mine?  I am happy with my accountant because he is everything I’ve ever wanted in an accountant.  He is bland, dull, lifeless and devoid of humor.  He’s the guy you invite to ruin your party.  He’s like a jar of mayonnaise who can count.  In fact, he could be part of a race of cyborgs who are slowly taking over.  I say slowly only because they lack imagination so they don’t know what to do next.  But really, who wants an accountant with a life?  I want an accountant so sharp he has a loophole named after him.  Our CFO is an accountant but he has a personality so I’m pretty sure his heart isn’t into it.  I know he still does his kids’ taxes but I think that’s only because they want him to still feel useful.  I have played golf with accountants but they have trouble adding their scores correctly so how could I trust them to keep me from being audited when they constantly prove they can’t even add to ten?  I have a friend in a business group that’s supposed to be a good accountant.  He answers tax questions on the radio but I’m not sure they’re the right answers because well…I’m not an accountant.  He could be spouting a recipe for seafood gumbo and I wouldn’t know the difference.  And he also likes classic cars and I don’t.  I could let that slide but I don’t want an accountant with hobbies.  I want my guy locked in a dark room, lit only by the light of the computer screen, wearing a green visor, sharpening his pencil by rubbing in on his corduroy trousers, convincing me that the $87,000 I claim to have given the Salvation Army last year will not raise any red flags.
So, for the next month I’ll be perusing receipts and convincing myself that the $200 I spent at Laser Tag belongs in “business entertainment” and the shelving I installed in the pantry is actually “office repair.”  And since it’s clear I need more dependents, later I’m headed to the animal shelter.  You might like names like Spot and Cuddles but I’ll be bringing home Dwayne and Wendy.   And the spay and neuter fees will be “medical expenses.”

It’s not really that different in business.  We have thousands of products so you can always find that pen, keychain, desk accessory or frame you want.  And we’re always counting them so we know we can fill your order.  We also use Social Media avenues like YouTube to showcase products and offer suggestions on their use and adaptability.  And if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be.  And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers.  We value our relationships and will continue to earn your business in the future.  We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day.  We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients.  You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some.  And all of our new items are visible in the  What's New?section of our website.  The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs.  It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone.  IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI.  Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 40 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients.  See great ideas and items from Cerruti!, Trendex, Fred & Friends, and Blackpen.  We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients.  We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to know…can I count on you?


About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Customer Service, Manufacturing, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

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