Happy Valentine’s Day! Now that I’ve got that out of the way I can ask the important question I seem to ask every year. Who made this a holiday? Somebody needs to step up and take some responsibility. And who made it so important to a certain segment of our society? I celebrate Christmas but the phony holiday today has now turned Xmas into the evil stepchild in the family hierarchy of holidays. Personally, I blame Eleanor Roosevelt because we all know what an incurable romantic she was. It’s wasn’t even 7:00 AM here and we already had 3 different kinds of cupcake in the lunchroom and someone had gone around and left packets of chocolate kisses on everyone’s desk. By 10:00 everyone will be so amped up on sugar, they won’t be able to form a coherent sentence and by 2:00 everyone will be asleep. And by the time I leave this afternoon I’ll be a doppelganger for the Pillsbury Doughboy. Cookies, cupcakes and chocolate. I believe the Surgeon General calls it the food pyramid from Hell. And why do only certain holidays become associated with food? Those normal among us might associate turkey or ham with Christmas while the crazy vegans think…tofu. I can tell you, nobody normal looks ahead to Memorial Day and thinks, “I can’t wait to have…lettuce.” Anyway, we never celebrate Hanukkah without latkes but now Valentine’s Day is synonymous with chocolate. Why? When did we all turn into Forrest Gump, lugging around boxes of chocolates like mindless drones? I barbecue like everyone else (only better) on the 4th of July but I don’t look forward to Labor Day so I can finally celebrate with an artichoke. It’s not like I wake up, smell bacon cooking and think…damn, must be President’s Day. But even if you associate certain foods with holidays, is it smart to associate Valentine’s Day with diabetes? I always thought Halloween had the candy market sewn up. The heart is the symbol for Valentine’s Day but we should consider changing it to the symbol for heart…disease. That’s the real problem. We’ve glorified Valentine’s Day instead of treating it like it really is…pure evil.
And why are my pets getting Valentine’s Day gifts? More importantly, why are they giving Valentine’s Day gifts to their friends on the block? It’s already bad enough that they will open the house to burglars on the off chance the burglars are carrying chicken. None of my pets know what day it is and they hardly need an excuse to eat anything they can reach. They’re not going to love us any less or more just because we gave them a bone the size of a Smart Car.
The shopping is the real nightmare. You’re expected to find the perfect gift but it’s so hard to shop because you’re trying to show your love and everybody’s opinion differs. I mean, who decided a waffle maker wasn’t romantic? And I would love it if someone gave me a iron. Really. I stood in a store yesterday, apoplectic and unable to move because I had no idea what to buy and, as a wise man once said, “I’m out of diamonds.” I love my wife and I want to be considerate and get her a great gift but a little voice in my head is telling me I should rethink buying her garage shelving. Since my first thought was a 24-pack of D cell batteries, I think I’m moving laterally instead of forward. The flowers and card are a given but I’m trying to remember what worked in the past but I’ve had about 7 cupcakes so I’m having a little trouble remembering…my name. So I’ll have to venture out later among a herd of men, all testing the Darwinian Theory to see who will survive. It’ll be just like Christmas Eve.
I do have one tip for you. If you’re carrying a box to the check-out and somewhere on the box it has the words “non-stick coating,” put it down and back away slowly.
It’s not really that different in business. We have thousands of products suitable for holidays and events and we still have the classics. We can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event or celebration all it can be. And we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. We value our relationships and will continue to earn your business in 2014. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you in 2014 and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 38 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Visconti, HighWave, Stewart/Stand, and Goodfaire for 2014. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…do you need to test your sugar?