So I’m driving down the road listening to sports talk radio because well, I’m a sport and I don’t need to bounce around in my seat to music on the LA freeways. Also, I’m too lazy to sync my iPhone. What I don’t like about talk radio is every time they are ready to go to commercials they have this annoying habit of trying to hard-sell you with what they’re going to be talking about after the commercials as if you’re going to change the station. I’m listening to the local sports station because I need an escape from reality and I want to hear sports and you’re not going to lose me because of a couple of stupid commercials. You’re more likely to lose me with the incessant teasing for the next segment. If they would stop doing that, the commercial would already be over and I’m willing to suffer through the latest shyster commercial claiming he’ll get your DUI dismissed. If you didn’t know it, half the commercial time on sports radio is bought by DUI lawyers. They REALLY know their market. Anyway, this is my station mainly because all the other talk stations are too far left or too far right for me, alternately manned by idiots or bigots and most of the music stations don’t play music and even the “Old Gold” classic stations don’t go back far enough in time for me. So I’m listening to this station every day until I turn into my driveway because even with media controls right on my steering wheel, I’m too lazy to change the station even when I don’t have to move my hand.
Television news is still the worst for the above habit. In the afternoon they start a barrage of teasers for the evening news and all during prime time they’re putting out promos for the late night news. And it’s always something they think is critically important to our lives. I can be sitting at dinner enjoying my chicken and they’ll come on, “Poisoned chicken in our neighborhoods. Stay tuned, we’ll tell you which neighborhoods at 11 o’clock.” Great, just great. At 11 I’ll either be dead or asleep. Can’t wait. But they are incredibly late to the party since they don’t realize their news is all old news because we have the internet and our favorite social media sites so we already know what you’re going to say. Everything that happened today has already been tweeted, pinned, shared, instagrammed or put on YouTube. TV news is now the people who are two hours late for the dinner party but are bringing appetizers. We’ve already seen the eight-toed cat, the Shroud of Turin in a grilled cheese sandwich and if a low-yield nuclear device went off in Glendale, I bet we know about it. We already know the poison chicken was only sent to a correctional facility in the middle of the state and never made it to my Von’s. But you may want to warn your uncle. TV is no longer reporting the new, they’re reporting the old. Unless you’re reporting the news and your pants catch on fire, you’re giving me history…and if your pants are on fire…somebody has already tweeted it before you can report on it. TV news is now about as consequential as the penny. In fact, the speed at which we get our news via the avenues of the internet make TV news as topical as a rerun of Hee-Haw. Newscasters have always been about as bright as a ventriloquist’s dummy, guided only by the voice in their ears or the lines on the teleprompter but now they’re also about as relevant as Sarah Palin.
The best thing about internet news is that, in most cases, you can just read the story and digest it yourself without listening to some talking head put his or her spin on it. We’re not stupid. We heard it or read it. We don’t need you to try and explain it like I explained Curious George to my son. We don’t want your spin and this will be news to most broadcasters but you guys aren’t qualified to explain the State of the Union message just because you graduated from Clown College.
It’s not really that different in business. We debut new products several times a year, yet we still have the classics. We read every order carefully and we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. We value our relationships and will continue to earn your business in 2014. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. And we are commercial free. We look forward to working with you in 2014 and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog is also available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 38 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. See great ideas and items from Kikkerland, Finelife, Wedgwood, and MOVA for 2014. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…is this news to you?