Most of us have pets of one sort or another and we generally treat them like family. We talk to them as if they had any idea what we were saying and often call them our children. Those of you with a less tenuous grasp on reality at least call them your four-legged children. Most of us stop just short of claiming them as dependents but many dine with us, vacation with us, watch TV with us. That said, it is still far easier and more socially acceptable to laugh at their antics or foibles than it is to do the same to your two-legged children…but I’m not sure why.
My friends got their dog back from the groomer while we were there for dinner on Sunday and to say his resulting look lent some comic relief to the evening would be an understatement of some magnitude. People were convulsed, soda came out of people’s noses, and while I tried to maintain some decorum, I’m pretty sure I herniated something trying to hold back laughter. I always thought he was some kind of a long-haired Lhottsa Crapso but I learned he is actually a Havanese. The Havanese is the only breed native to Cuba and it fit him well because he now looked like a refugee of the Mariel boat lift except he looks like he had a rope leash and had to swim to Miami behind a raft. He has always run around the house like Cousin It wired on caffeine…or a really furry Roomba because I believe Havanese is Cuban for dust mop…but I could be wrong. But even I was amazed by how small he really is when he left the house looking like a legless sheepdog and came back looking like something that had been neglected, starved…and then run over. What left the house as a purebred, long-haired Havanese came home looking like a street urchin waiting by the dumpster just in case the rats get full and don’t finish the rotting cabbage.
In some sort of convoluted homage to his heritage, the family named him Javier so he probably has more issues than just a bad haircut and this may be only the latest indignity he is forced to suffer. Now, Javi is well-loved by the majority of the family but I’m pretty sure the other dogs in the neighborhood are having a good laugh at his expense so I’m certain his future includes some long-term dog whisperer therapy. While he is in good hands in a good family and slowly adjusting to his new “look,” the family must be called to task over placing him in his current predicament. They dropped him off at this grooming farm and willingly handed him over to a woman with more piercings than tattoos and either number far surpassed her IQ. Their only instruction should have been, “Don’t make him look like…you.” She looked to be more comfortable expressing the glands of wild boar than family pets but, for me, the real caution flag would have come up when I saw the certificate on the wall proclaiming she had successfully passed a course in weed whacking. Geez, why not just hand him over to Cruella Deville? Instructions were supposedly given for the groomer to call the “parents” in the event she found excessive matting so they could discuss how much to take off. Sort of a “take a little off the top and clean up the sides” kind of thing. She must have been sick on “phone dialing” day because no call was made and she went to work on Javi with the exuberance of an ice sculptor with a chain saw. Army recruits in basic training come out with more hair. Her vast background in grooming involved cutting until she saw skin and then moving to the next area and the resulting effect was like watching a two-year old put together a jigsaw puzzle of a Kandinsky painting. Javier has taken to wearing a tiny trench coat they say to help him battle the winter elements but I think he’s using it as a disguise.
It’s not really that different in business. We read every order carefully and we know you want exactly what you’ve ordered so we do everything we can to learn that order and help you look good to your customers. We value our relationships and as 2014 enters we, at IMC, have updated our website with new products and brands. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. Embarrassment free. We wish the best for you and yours and look forward to working with you in 2014. It was nice to see so many of you in Las Vegas at the PPAI show last week and you saw all our new products and some of your all-time favorites. And you can visit us at the ASI Dallas Show February 4-6 where you can find us in Booth 612 and we will have 2014 catalogs for your business needs. You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog Page of our website and order some. And all of our new items are visible in the section of our website. The 2014 IMC catalog has also gone virtual on Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs. It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 38 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We have new items from PaperThinks, Blunt, Stewart/Stand®, and Presto! for 2014. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…do you always get what you ordered?