I’d Rather Watch Reruns

Donn James

Donn James

My daughter is in town and while that fills my heart with joy, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that she brings a certain dynamic to the family circle.  Aside from the fact that my laundry room now looks like someone launched a grenade into Nordstrom’s.  Or when Mammoth blows some dynamite to cause an avalanche.  The mountain of laundry is a problem that pales in comparison to the fact that she always wants to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
I used to like Jeopardy but over the last 10-20 years Alex has just gotten too smug for me.  When someone is wrong, he adopts this haughty attitude and says, “The answer is, of course, dimethylheptylpyran.”  Alex says it like the contestant is an idiot and he has known the answer for the last 70 years instead of it being written in 3” letters on the card in his hand.  Alex really does have all the answers…because someone typed them up for him!  These days the contestants all irritate me as well.  I know they start with some sort of an online test but you must have to check a box that verifies you’re a major geek just to log in.  When they talk to Alex at the beginning of the show, you never meet anyone who’s a busboy at iHop or a locker room attendant at your gym.  Last night there was a woman contestant dressed in Clark Kent glasses, half of her head was buzz cut and she sported a vest and bow tie.  She was a microbiologist whose job was to wear a bio-hazard suit complete with 3 pairs of gloves and enter a clean room to study tuberculosis.  I guess driving a truck wasn’t pedantic enough for her?  Oddly, I probably get my (and your) share of questions correct but the amount of trivial minutiae these people know is alternately astounding and frankly, a little scary.  I’m considered reasonably learned and if you give me a sport category or even literature or state capitals, I’m probably even money or better to run that category like crap through a goose.  Or food.  I’m good at food because I’ve had a lot of practice eating.  But if you can press the buzzer and spout the name of Calvin Coolidge’s first term Secretary of War…you’re just sick.  If you know which composer at the age of 9 wrote an opus as an homage to his mother who ran off with a circus performer while his father was on a polar bear hunt in Antarctica…you really need counseling.  And if you can rattle off a list of diseases that start with the letter Q…you need to get a life.
Wheel of Fortune is the absolute antonym to Jeopardy and the reason they have them back-to-back is to cover all Americans because some of the contestants on Wheel are so dumb it’s hard to imagine them walking upright.  If a cabbage could jump and clap, they would fit right in.  When Pat meets the contestants, these are the people who ARE busboys at iHop or the guy with the shovel who follows the horses during the Rose Parade.  And he tells Pat how much he loves his job.  And party planners…they’re big on party planners as if that was a real job.  Sh_ffleboard…how tough is this?  Even my dog is yelling U…U…U at the TV and the normally stoic Vanna White looked shocked when the lady didn’t get it.  The next guy spun the wheel and landed on Bankrupt and Pat had to explain to the guy what it meant.  This show clearly doesn’t require anyone to pass a literacy test to play.  Apparently if you can dress yourself and don’t have drool hanging from your lip…you’re qualified.
John W. Weeks was Coolidge’s Secretary of War.  And that’s why we have GOOGLE!

It’s not really that different in business.  You test us with every order you place and we do everything we can to earn that order and help you look good to your customers.  We value our relationships and as 2014 enters we, at IMC, have updated our website with new products and brands.  We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day.  We wish the best for you and yours and look forward to working with you in 2014.  IMC will be in Las Vegas at the PPAI show next week and encourage you to stop by, say Hi and see all our new products and some of your all-time favorites.  You can find us in Booth 2323 and we will have 2014 catalogs to give.  You can also request our 2014 catalog on the Catalog page on our website and order some.  All of our new catalog items are visible in the  What's New?section of our website.  The 2014 IMC catalog has also gone virtual on Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs.  It can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone.  IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI.  Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 38 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients.  We have new items from Filter2Go, Ten Design®, Stewart/Stand®, Trendex and Presto! for 2014.  We invite you to browse any of our 2,450+ products on the IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients.  We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas.  What do you think?  Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter.  IMC wants to know…is this in the form of a question?

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About IMC

IMC is a prime manufacturer and supplier of products to the promotional products industry. We sell only to qualified promotional products distributors. ASI supplier, PPAI supplier. Our lines include our own IMC lines and 26 branded lines.
This entry was posted in Business Gifts, Customer Service, Promotional Products, Promotions, Retail Brands, Sales, Waterford Pens. Bookmark the permalink.

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